Austin Quits WWE to Pursue a Career in Hunting
 

Credit Wrestlingplanet.com

We have just been informed that 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin has officially quit the WWE to pursue a career as a professional hunter. Austin told management this morning that his appearence at Wrestlemania 20 this Sunday will be his last appearence in a WWE ring. Austin was quite emotional during this meeting as he thanked everyone for bringing him back and said wrestling will always have a place in his heart. Austin had been planning on a career after wrestling for quite some time now and since he loves to hunt and is quite good at it, he wants to see if he has what it takes to turn pro. WWE Management thanked Austin for everything he has given them throughout the years and wishes him best of luck in his future endeavors.

With all specualtion of Brock leaving after Wrestlemania and with Goldberg's contract up, one would have to wonder what the outcome of the match will be now that all three men involved in the match won't be back in the WWE after Sunday.

I hope this is a joke. :shifty:

I also hope this is a joke.

Of course it is. This is just mocking Brock possibly leaving to go to the NFL, which is prbably also a joke. It's usually the other way around. You retire from the real sport to do the fake sport. Can you imagine Brock Lesnar giving Tom Brady an F-5?

Really? You actually think this is a joke? :?:

This has to be a parody of brock

I hope this isnt true, if it is then wtf is up with everyone leaving all of the sudden.

rofl

This is either a parody or a huge work - if this is all real, OMG LOL, it's still hilarious. That they'd lose all three of these guys at 'Mania. After All these "dream match" talks. Austin has successfully avoided jobbing to both men. LOL.

WOW.

Look what I just saw...

Triple H Quits WWE to Pursue a Career in Glass Making

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Credit Wrestlingplanet.com

We have just been informed that Triple H has officially quit the WWE to pursue a career as a professional glass maker. Triple H told management this morning that his appearence at Wrestlemania 20 this Sunday will be his last appearence in a WWE ring. Triple H was quite emotional during this meeting as he thanked everyone for giving him an opportunity and said wrestling will always have a place in his heart. Triple H had been planning on a career after wrestling for quite some time now and since he loves to use glass to his advantage and is quite good at it, he wants to see if he has what it takes to turn pro. WWE Management thanked Triple H for everything he has given them throughout the years and wishes him best of luck in his future endeavors.

With all specualtion of Triple H leaving after Wrestlemania, one thinks it will be a given that HBK or Benoit will walk away from WM XX as the new World Heavyweight champion. However, talk is that Triple H will retain at Mania, only to retire as the "Greatest" World Heavyweight Champion of all time since no one was able to beat him for it.

lol

lol

I've also heard rumor that BEE Windows have offered Triple H a job.

More on this breaking news story as we get it.

LOL at the Trips one. Gold.

The Triple H one is great.

lol at thread

classic

I doubt its a huge work, or a parody. I would bet money on Austin leaving after Mania. He has walked out before, why wouldn't he again?

This just in:

Shawn Michaels quits the WWE to become a Priest

:lol: :lol: Sorry guys, I just had to do it.

LOL.

:| Have you any idea how worried I was? Don't I look stupid now. :$

<font color=black> SHIFTY</font>

:D

credit: <font color=red>http://www.beatingthejoketodeath.com</font>

We have just been informed that Bubba Ray and D-Von, wrestling's famous Dudley Boys, have officially tendered their resignations to WWE. Their appearance at WM20 will be their last, according to their brother Spike. Official sources have confirmed that the Dudleyz plan to persue careers as professional furniture craftsman.
"We've been destroying tables for so many years," stated Bubba Ray, "and we now feel it's time to give something back to the furniture community."

Addittionally, we can exclusively reveal that Rob Van Dam, notoriously dissatisfied with his treatment by WWE management, will also be leaving the company immediately following WM20. His future plans are unknown, but word from his travel agent confirms that he has purchased plane tickets and passports to Jamaica, Colombia, Cuba, and Holland.

As-yet-unconfirmed reports have been stating that Chris Jericho plans on leaving both WWE and his band Fozzy, and after a quick marriage to Trish Stratus in Las Vegas, will be using his status as "King of the World" to attempt to negotiate peace in the Middle East.

At least one source is claiming that Mark Henry, Rikishi, and the Big Show have all quit WWE to become professional eaters. Several other sources claim that they did this years ago.

:lol:

again :lol:

LOL @ RVD

Well your a joke so this is not a joke. Got it?

And yet more...

credit: <font color=red>http://www.beatingthejoketodeath.com</font>

Hollywood Hulk Hogan has finallly retired from the wrestling biz to team up with the creaters of Hungry Hungry Hippos, to make the exciting new game...Hungry Hungry Hulk. Instead of hippos, the game will consist of 4 Hogan heads (70's Heel Hogan, 80's Hogan, 90's Face Hogan, and late 90's/early 00 Hollywood Hogan) and instead of marbles, the 4 Hogan heads will try to eat World Title's, PPV Main Events, and Steroids.

haha you look stupid now he has deleted his post.

A-train Gets fired
www.waititsstillalive.com

Before a meeting yesterday vince heard something in the broom closet. Then a scream. He open the door and was terrified. Bear bear! he shouted as spike dudley was being aten by A-train. A-Train ran out of the building and climbed a near by tree Fire men tried to coax him and get him down but he batted them away. HHH had an idea

"A-train we have a match up next"

A-train lied on the ground and HHH pinned him he was then tranqed and carried off to the Vet.

I thought that last one was aweful, Savior. :|

Ok, I'm really confused? How much of this thread was a joke? Is Austin actually quitting? :-\

Yeah austin is quitting and HHH iIs gonna win at wrestle mania for the 3rd time in a row......oh wait

^Well it only took you 2 hours to ruin a thread. Must be a new record

splaya stop trying.

^ I must 100% agree with the above statement.

Coming from someone who PMed me 'proof' that Eminem is wrestle_god. :|

And, this is not wrestling related, could you and Splaya keep your opinions off the Wrestling boards.

I concur with the one they call Dazz

You're ruining it seeing as though you're arguing with me.

Alright, joke is getting old so I'm going to get mine in while I still can without being flamed for it.

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Credit: Dave Meltzer

Triple H has been reported to have had a conversation with Satan at his hotel in a conference. Apparently, Satan offered Triple H dictatorship of the world when Satan's son George W Bush had finally secured the ground. Triple H's negotiations were said to have went well, until Satan said, "I think you'll love your new *job*," and Hunter ripped up the contract and booked out the door, screaming, "NICE TRY CHRIS!"

:lol:!

LMAO! This could have been archive worthy if Savior hadn't ruined it. :p

:lol:

LOL jesus that boy is overly obsessed with me...is there anyone that he hasnt pmed about me???

<font color=Silver> :lol: @ the thread</font>

Sean O'Haire Quits WWE to Pursue a Career in the Circus

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Credit Wrestlingplanet.com

We have just been informed that Sean O"Haire has officially quit the WWE to pursue a career as a professional circus animal cage cleaner. Sean told management this morning that his appearence at Velocity this Saturday will be his last appearence in a WWE ring. Sean was quite emotional during this meeting as he thanked everyone for not giving him an opportunity and said jobbing will always have a place in his heart. Sean had been planning on a career after jobbing for quite some time now and since he loves to clean cages and is quite good at it, he wants to see if he has what it takes to turn pro. WWE Management thanked Sean O'Haire for everything he has given them throughout the years and wishes him best of luck in his future endeavors.

With all specualtion of Sean O'Haire leaving after Wrestlemania, one thinks it will be a given that no one will really be affected.

:lol: :'(

LOL

It took me forever to think of someone good to use in this thread, O'Haire is pretty good for shit like this so I can't blame you.

I feel honored at what I have started here. LOL at everyone.

I hope it isnt true, then every one is leaving.

Credit: <font color=red>I'mnoteevensureifit'sstillfunnyanymore.com</font>
In the most shocking abandonment yet, WWE Chairman Vincent Kennedy McMahon has announced that he is leaving WWE for good.
"I just realized that I've allowed a big-nosed, roided up goon to steal my daughter and ruin my company. I cannot even beg forgiveness for what I have done to my fans, but I will do the honorable thing."
Persuant to this statement, McMahon will officially declare WWE a nonentity, destroy all the title belts, and commit ritual suicide on live PPV television this Sunday immediately following WM20.

I heard he was gonna give them all to HHH

LMAO

i love this forum, you guys are all awesome

LOL

Credit: I'mnoteevensureifit'sstillfunnyanymore.com

In a followup to a previous story, Vince McMahon later yelled out "FOOLED YA!" and announced that Triple H was now undesputed champion of every belt in the world. He also announced the WWE's purchase of NWA-TNA and was quick to promote the transformation of the X-Division into the new Cage Cleaning League.

:lol: This is horrible, but awesome.

Credit: <font color=red>I'mnoteevensureifit'sstillfunnyanymore.com</font>
In yet more WWE retirements, RAW commentator and former pro wrestler, Jerry "The King" Lawler has quit his duties on Raw after being offered his own chain of "Puppy" shops called "The King's Puppies." Lawler stated that he is thankful for all of the years he has had in the WWE and wishes he can work with them again sometime down the road, but this has always been a dream of his that he couldn't pass up.

*UPDATE* Jerry Lawler has reportedly asked for his job back on Raw after he found out that the puppy shop wasn't what he had originally thought.

I heard Triple HHH is leaving...but then i woke up and it was all a dream.

<font color=goldenrod>Christian to leave WWE

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Credit: Wrestlingplanet.com

In some shocking news, Christian has announced that he will be leaving the WWE soon. He has stated that he has found a new religion, Judaism. He feels that with the rough WWE scehdules, he will not have enough time to fully appreciate the religion.

It is rumored that to cover up for it, Christian's last match in the WWE will be against Goldberg in a "Loser Converts" match. After his loss, it is expected that Christian will be circumcised in the middle of the ring.

Rumors are also flying around that the WWE have plans sometime down the road for Christian to return, only with a more Jewish name, and it is speculated that he would be teamed with Goldberg as "The Dynamic Juo".</font>