RB's "if this happens" thread
 

Alright. You all are ready for Wrestlemania. You are expecting a good show, and high hopes are in place. However, this is Wrestlemania. It doesn't always end as we would predict. So to make these potential swerves, upsets and last-minute changes interesting...

Post something unlikely that will happen at Wrestlemania. The more unlikely I feel it is, the more drastically I will react if it happens.

For example: If this and this happens, I will do this.

For all of my drastic measures, I will take pictures to prove it. And then I'll post them here after 'Mania. So if you want to see me mutilate myself, for your predictions...

Post 'em.

Taker comes back as the American Badass.

Triple H Wins.

Pete Rose destroys Kane.

The RAW four way tag match doesn't make someone commit suicide in the arena or at home.

Foley taps to the figure four clean.

Hogan shows up and destroys both Goldberg and Brock, only to be stunned by Austin.

<font color=goldenrod>Vince McMahon runs out during the Cruiserweight Open, stops the match, says that all 10 are boring and too small to get over, and then re-names the belt to the WWE Hoss Title and gives it to A-Train.</font>

lol

Taker comes back as the American Badass.

Triple H Wins.

Deff. these to... i will be pissed if those 2 happen...

If 'Taker comes back to 'Mania as the American Bad Ass, I will slit my knuckle and put salt on it.

If Triple H wins, I fill fart into a cup, and then inhale it.

If Pete Rose destroys Kane, I will burn off all of my pubes with my lighter.

If the RAW 4-Way Tag Match doesn't eventually lead to a suicide, I will swallow a lit match.

If Foley taps to the Figure-4 clean, I will stick a sock all the way inside my ass.

If Hogan shows up and destroys them, then gets stunned by Austin, I will piss on a cloth and ring it out all over my face.

If Vince does this, my friend, I will kill myself with a spoon.

Think of it...

Goldberg is leaving after Mania
Lesnar is leaving after Mania
The Rock is going back to Hollywood
Triple H is going to film movies (probally will have the title with him too)
Ric Flair has got some neck problems
Booker T has got some back problems
Mick Foley will leave for a while
HBK's apparent torn ACL

Imagine if we are without all these guys after Mania. There are going to be some BIG places for rookies and mid carders to jump into.

Yep. That's why I think this year's 'Mania is going to swerve us or surprise us.

Randy Orton hits the RKO on The Rock, Foley, Brock, Goldberg, Billy Graham, Valentine, Ventura, Race, Santana, and Slaughter.

<font color=goldenrod>Torrie/Sable vs. Stacy/Jackie ends up being the main event.

A casket is wheeled out, but instead of the Undertaker, it is Spike Dudley. Spike goes over Kane in a 20 second squash match.

Nathan Jones is added to the WWE Championship match and he wins.</font>

...who all no-sell it and take turns using him as a human pinata.

:wtf:

Triple H enters the cruiserweight match and wins.

Triple H is the new undertaker.

Stone Cold stunners both Lesnar and Goldberg and declares himself the winner...wait hang on erm and then Triple H comes in and pins Austin.

LOL

Bleh, none of that is actually possible. :nono:

If any of the stuff happens past my last reply, I'll dig up a dead chick and...

<font color=goldenrod>LMFAO</font>

LOL HCUK

That belongs in "If they mated"

Randy Orton gets a legitimate crowd reaction (face or heel, but can't be leeching off of Flair to get it.) :p

Don't let Loose Cannon hear you!

Seeing as how this is really likely, if this happens, I will make fart noises with my arm pits.

Ok, then...

Same situation, replace Randy Orton with Billy Gunn.

The dead man returns to fight Kane.... AL WILSON!!!

LoL, if this happens I'll stand under telephone wires with my mouth open.

Lillian Garcia sings the wrong national anthem.

If this happens, I will enjoy a nice glass of soda.

Brock Lesnar lists TPWW as one of his reasons for quitting.

If this happens, I will put ice in the soda.

<font color=goldenrod>Big Vito makes his WWE debut in some way, shape, or form.</font>

If Triple H wins I will laugh at all you of people who will "riot against him" :shifty:

Kane is standing in the ring waiting for the Deadman. The bell sounds, the druids walk out, and a platform is wheeled out to the ring with a mysterious man in a black cape standing on it. The man walks into the ring, throws off the cape, and...

"OHHHHH YEEEAAAAHHHH! Da Mah-CHO Mang is back! Can ya diiiiiig?"

If this happens, I will set up a web cam at TPWW.net and light myself on fire for everyone to see.

If Randy Orton gets:

1. Branded by Terry Funk's Branding Iron, by Terry Funk.
2. Powerbombed on a flaming table with thumbtacks on it by Balls Mahoney
3. Punched in the face 10 times by Axl Rotten, whose prepared for a Taipei Death Match.
4. Take an Arabian Face buster off a ladder by Sabu
5. Get Fireballed by Jerry "The King" Lawler
6. Get a Fork jabbed into his head by Abdullah the Butcher
AND
7. Next thing he hears is "Enter Sandman" by Metallica, and the original Beer Drinking Badass wrestles the new Hardcore Legend in a Stairway to Hell match....

I'll...

1. scratch my balls with a cheese grater, and then cauterize the wound with Jack Daniels.
2. Shot myself in the forehead with a nail gun (people have survived this)
3. Nail my fingers to the wall.
4. Pierce my tongue with a Steaknife.
5. Make like Jack Daniels and Kick a Safe.
6. Get a Nose Ring and rip it out.
AND
7. Force myself to listen to Will Hung sing "She Bangs" on an infinite loop for 3 days straight.

Oh, and I'll finally aknowledge that Randy Orton is indeed a Hardcore Legend.

See, there you go. I knew you'd come around. :)

I hope some of those actually happen now
:lol:

Kane beats the Undertaker clean.

Molly DOES get her hair shaved.

The Evening Gown Match results in real nudity.

Edge comes back and takes out Lesnar to avenge NWO 2003.

The Evening Gown Match becomes the best match of the night
The Evening Gown Match becomes the match of the year
Pete Rose is revealed as the new Undertaker
Spike Dudley is revealed as the new Paul Bearer
Brock Lesnar actually HITS a Shooting Star Press
Triple H not only wins his match, but also declares himself the IC, US, WWE Tag Team, World Tag Team, Cruiserweight, and Womens champion, Holds all belts until he loses them all in a match to... Himself.

Especially since, according to my knowledge, he hasn't wrestled a single hardcore match in his life and has to mooch off of Ric Flair for all of his heat.

If Kane wins clean, I'll hold a needle over a flame and then slide it under my pinky-nail.

If Molley gets her hair shaved, I'll shave my armpits.

If the evening gown results with real nudity, I'll have a puddin' pop...

If Edge comes out to avenge NWO 2k3, I'll eat my dog's food.

HHH jobs cleanly to Benoit

If this happens, I will dip my penis in dogsh</>it.

Wrestlemania 20 is 20 minutes away. If you want to cash in on me doing humiliating things if something unlikely (specified by you) happens, at 7:00 EST the guarantees stop. 20 minutes to potentially humiliate the great one.

Benoit loses match against HHH/HBK, beat the snot out of Kurt Angle before his match with Eddie and faces Eddie Guerrero.

This just won't happen... :|

Do you even have a dog?

Well, RB, it's time to shave your armpits and dip your penis in dog shit.

You can thank me for that second one. :cool:

Alright. Time to deliver. As stated above, a couple peoples' unlikely predictions came true! So it is now up to me to dip my penis in dog sh</>it, and to shave my armpits. Pics will come soon and I'll get to this right away. Is a mod gonna ban me if I show a picture of my wang in dogshi</>t?

Yes. His name's Rocky. And he shi</>ts three times a day.

Um.... not sure I want to see your penis in dog shit... but whatever. You're gonna get lots of... colorful reactions from this one ya know. ;)

Dude, ****ing Hardcore.

Yeah, people actually wanting to see my penis, let alone in dogsh</>it is somewhat questionable. Any suggestions other than that, that are embarassing, that I can prove with a webcam? Actually I should let Vega pick.

Hmm...Any suggestions from anyone? I'll take the top like 5 and make it poll, so we can vote on the best one.

Get him to take a bath

...LoL, you wanna see pics of me in the bath on a webcam? ...Ok...


( :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: )

Vega, this has brought a new twist to it. That's a good idea. I think I'm gonna start doing this for PPV's. People list things unlikely to happen, and whoever is accurate, will get one nominee for a poll of an embarassing thing I should do (within reason, don't tell me to cut off a testicle or anything) on webcam. Then, stick the poll up. When the poll closes, I deliver.

Yes, sounds good. We just need people to suggest things. Or maybe you should come up with the poll ideas

That wouldn't be fair. =D

And I think Cork is wanting to see me with some peachy armpits. So I'll go ahead and do that tomorrow (I don't want to do that sh</>it and have my family walk in on it, like I am some troubled child who watched Pink Floyd's "The Wall" one too many times).

Just say you were watching queer eye for the straight guy.

LMAO

Just say you want to be like a real wrestler.