Bumblebee w/ John Cena (2018)
 

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Every adventure has a beginning. Watch the official teaser trailer for Bumblebee now, starring <a href="https://twitter.com/HaileeSteinfeld?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@HaileeSteinfeld</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/JohnCena?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@JohnCena</a>! See <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BumblebeeMovie?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BumblebeeMovie</a> in theatres this Christmas. <a href="https://t.co/8GrhIwT6IT">pic.twitter.com/8GrhIwT6IT</a></p>&mdash; #TRANSFORMERS (@transformers) <a href="https://twitter.com/transformers/status/1003894439079763968?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2018</a></blockquote>
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Ok then.

Mood whiplash.

So is John Cena a car?

Nice of VW to allow them to use the Beetle again after all these years of having Transformers movies and merchandise without it after that "we don't want our brand to be associated with violence" or whatever horseshit they said back then.

But they don't mind their brand to be associated with god awful Michael Bay movies?

I'd rather my car be used for school shootings than Transformers movies.

This looks awesome!

Haha just kidding. Looks utter bollocks. Cool that Cena's in it, though.

Isn't this movie being directed by someone else?

Someone forever associated with Michael Bay by transit of property

Looks shit

They finally got Bumblebee knocked down to about the right size.

He still can't speak. Which is stupid.

Isn't this a prequel? Plus didn't he have his throat pretty much destroyed by Megatron while on Cybertron? Or atleast I think I read that when the first transformers came out.

I don't know if they're going by the original cartoons or just doing their own thing. I think the latter is most likely.

This is a loose prequel with a slight reboot vibe. Sector 7 is in there but looking at Starscream and the fact Bee is more his 'robot kid' G1 self rather than somebody who already killed Nazis in WW2 is a big hint that Bayformers is dead. There will not be a TF6.

That's on top of Hasbro's plans for a shared universe with TF and GI Joe (and Micronaughts lol).

I mean....micronauts isn't any crazier than transformers crossing over with g.I.Joe. In fact I believe micronauts did cross over with them in the old marvel comics.

Anyway, if they're going through with this whole shared universe thing, I hope they reboot it all completely to reflect their most iconic versions.

Today I learned that this should say "transitive property" and that I have been saying it incorrectly like a great boob for as many years as I've known the phrase.

Transit of property now sits on the same trophy shelf of my own buffoonery as:

*"I'll sell your house like John McEnroe" a once misheard, often repeated lyric from House Of Pain's "Jump Around"

Because the Santa suit just looks ridiculous on Mark Wahlberg.

Like a little boy in his dad's clothes.

My point wasn't to the quality of the films. That's all semi-debatable depending on how hardcore you are about this particular aspect of your childhood and how much one tolerates or dislikes Michael Bay.

It was more a commentary on them seeing how much cross promotion and licencing loot Volkswagen missed out on because they wouldn't allow basing the character on the car he was patterned on in the first place for some nonsense reason that they're more than happy to go back on about, what, 10-15 years after the fact?

Pretty sure if the franchise bombed financially, they'd still be on their high horse about it. At this point, I just think they're kicking themselves and trying to make up for lost cash.

I've never seen a Transformers movie whole way through. Mostly on TV in the background while I was here or maybe even when I was jacking off to porn. Explosions as porn background music are fine.

Vintage Megan Fox doing anything is porn.

BubbleBee Tuna?

Chim Chimeney Chim Chim Cheeroo!