on Goldust (and touching the Rhodes family)
 

One rule to rule them all... Taker it easy.

It is 1995 in Winnipeg Arena in Manitoba when the sexual sensation and confusion appears, Goldust. A legend debuts. Nobody gets pregnant.

http://i.imgur.com/UkPGq.gif

This man, this wrestler, is amazing. He has been a favorite since he gave Marty Jannetty ego death (yeah, fuck you Jannetty!! always trying to get Shawn to go to WCW...).

http://i.imgur.com/E7OE3.jpg

His first legendary feud was with Razor Ramon. These two worked so well together in many levels, in the ring and in character. Razor with his machismo and glistening body hair was BEYOND sexually confused when in the presence of Goldust, whom wanted everything Razor. So began THE MIND GAMES.

http://i.imgur.com/408FB.jpg

Ego death approached Razor and enveloped him at times. I like to imagine a younger Scott Hall being at bars, drinking and he is unknowingly on edge. Somewhere in the back of his mind he fears Goldust popping into the bar, fears what Goldust may make him feel... and do? Maybe, just maybe. MIND GAMES.

http://i.imgur.com/4hj9C.jpg

Briefly, other notable feuds include Mankind, The Undertaker (possibly the best and most well known), and some wife swapping with Marc Mero if you can recall him.

http://i.imgur.com/TnLYC.jpg

In a day where WWE had some of the greats of all time like HBK pre-shitty pants, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mankind, Razor and Diesel who could all cut solid gold promos. Goldust had some of the best, most bizarre, creative and arguably real promos out there. They are timeless as something that can never be reproduced exactly. A brief shout out to Marlena who was always super hot and never got dull like Sable did. She smoked fatties too, yeah you know it. You also know she and Dustin has some amazing hotel sex on the road. She was great. Imagine having a time machine and getting Marlena and Sunny to go to bed with you :rant:.

http://i.imgur.com/h6vI5.jpg

I'm going to open up to you now so Taker it easy. When I think of Goldust I initially recall only one memory. It is a golden memory of confusion which followed me or haunted me or taunted me for many in real life years. To this day actually. So this memory has haunted for my whole life and riddled me with confusion.

It is RAW IS WAR and we are leading up to Wrestlemania 12. Piper is there and he intends to confront Goldust on Raw. Piper promos on Goldust in the ring, man to man, face to face. He shouts something about Goldust being gay. Now this is what I remember with a clarity that will never leave me. Piper shouts to Goldust, "I AM A LESBIAN!".

I am confused. I look at my brother. He is confused. I go to school still confused, hoping to find answers. I never asked anyone anything because who wants to look like a fool. I was naive. How is a man a lesbian? For awhile there I thought I was a lesbian. I thought that I should explain my sexual orientation as lesbian because that's what Piper did.

Next memory. Piper whooping on Goldust WM12. Insert OJ Simpson chase footage as 'footage of Piper chase Goldust in a car'. Now we are back in the ring and Piper is ripping off Goldusts wrestling gear. Goldust is wearing a womens corset and panties and leggings. /sexual confused forever.

http://i.imgur.com/zpGxI.jpg

Thank you Goldust. Goldust seems to be better now than ever. His body seems more fit now days and in better shape than he ever has been in. Please share some memories of Goldust below. Bonus picture to follow (aka is this one of you guys?)...

http://i.imgur.com/WqgFi.jpg

_____________________________________________________________


Also, what is up with the Rhodes family? Dusty, Dustin and Cody all have sexually open gimmicks. Cody has the lesser of these at the moment but Dustin and Dusty have arguably been gay with their representation.

http://i.imgur.com/LLuMw.gif

On round table sometimes Dusty seems very gay. I can easily see him fitting in with Pat Patterson.

Long story short, who WOULD NOT want to grow up in the Rhodes house hold? Talk about it below.


http://i.imgur.com/CMgFB.jpg

Rasslin! Wooooooo!

Weird and strangely interesting post. I dunno what to think...

I stopped reading halfway through this deluded account of Goldust's early career because this is the ramblings of a fucking lunatic. A homophobic lunatic at that. Obvious sock but to waste the time you did to make this borders on madness. Get a job dude

Goldust was a pretty amazing character. Marlena was fucking glorious. I am a lesbian.

Definately one of the best ever. Freaked me out so much as an 11 year old. Marlena took a lot of my early spooj right on those lovely fake melons too

I never got the Goldust character as a kid. It didn't scare me as such, but it did freak me out at times. But yeah, Marlena = Drool. Forever.

What made Dusty appear gay other than his lisp and squealish sounding voice? Also, what the hell is sexual about Cody's gimmicks?

Polka dots are probably the gayest possible pattern outside of rainbow. Cody's "Dashing" gimmick had some sexual undertones, but not so much anymore.

OP was a bit tl;dr, but I love Goldust

It really wasn't even that long. There were just some big pictures in it that made it seem that way.

it wasn't long but the language used + the fact that it was horseshit made it really reek.

Taker it easy HBPunk. Why u gotta hate?

Im not hating on it for the sake of it. It just sucked ass. I cant help it if it sucks

Taker it easy :) Ya gotta laugh at it

Dusty was banging a black chick, and Cody shaved his body so to be super smooth for the divas who proclaimed him the most handsome man in WWE.

Nothing in Wrestling will ever be gayer than HHH's lemmy facial hair and all his little fancy WrestleMania dresses

They are called Battle Gowns. :roll:

Is that because he wears them to battle downs (yndrome)?

Classy.

No offense meant to you Mrs.Levesque but im just not a fan of them

Dear Taker it easy,

Could you stick up a nice pic of marlena please as its late here, im in bed and i sure would like to taker it easy. over her titties

Yours,
HBPunk

Back in 2002 Goldust introduced me to my favorite movie, An Affair To Remember. I've always liked Goldust, but that promo made it borderline homo-love for Goldust. While I could never see him in the main event with that gimmick I would love to see him go back to the Hollywood Mind Fuck, quoting movies and doing backstage promos with the lighting and the music. Perhaps a run as the IC or US champ would be good for him.

Slow Ride, Taker it easy.

Yeah, I would love that. One last run on the top.


Get ready to Taker it easy guys 'cause here comes Marlena! :yes:

http://i.imgur.com/rVjho.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/HuxZu.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/QCJlm.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/8rAbP.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/8GOhZ.jpg

Underboob > Sideboob

a) lose the gimmick, Taker it Easy
b) good post, Golddust was solid.

Terri Runnels was just a sexy sexy woman esp at that age too. And i dunno what it is but Taker It Easy is growing on me :)

Did they ever say that Dusty and Sapphire were a couple? I just thought she worked with him at the steel mill or something.

Steel Mill = She was a mill worker on Dusty's steel pole.

"I've wined and dined with kings and queens, and I've slept in alleys and ate Kaneesha's Pink Bean!"

Bless Sweet Sapphire's soul, but that broad was ate the fuck up.

I bet Dusty Rhodes could/can lick some pussy.