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Providence Peep 12-20-2011 11:41 PM

Justin Roberts
 
WWE announcer Justin Roberts has launched a new business at HandsToGo.com. He is selling portable massage devices. Does anyone else here find humor in that? The $98 package includes the massager, 2 wires, 4 pads and free shipping.

I heard if he does well with the portable massage devices, he might expand his business and start selling dildos and vibrators.

http://www.wwe.com/f/imagecache/686x...tinroberts.jpg

Anybody Thrilla 12-20-2011 11:45 PM

Oh, OK.

Juan 12-20-2011 11:49 PM

Trying to find the humor. Failing

Supreme Olajuwon 12-20-2011 11:50 PM

Justin Roberts seems like a nice guy. I hope he does well in life.

Supreme Olajuwon 12-20-2011 11:52 PM

Hey, Providence Pete, what have you done in your life that's so great? Why do you think you're better than Justin Roberts?

Providence Peep 12-20-2011 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supreme Olajuwon (Post 3708281)
Hey, Providence Pete, what have you done in your life that's so great? Why do you think you're better than Justin Roberts?

I don't think I'm better than Justin Roberts.... or Jake Roberts, or Julia Roberts, or Robert DeNiro, or Robert Duvall, or even Pat Robertson. Well, OK, I think I AM better than Pat Robertson because I think he's an asswipe. But, I have no problem at all with Justin Roberts. Actually, I like the guy and I think he's a good announcer. For some reason, I just think it's funny that he's selling massage devices. But whatever. I wish him all the luck in the world.

Supreme Olajuwon 12-21-2011 12:04 AM

Are you giggling because you think massage devices are dirty?

Supreme Olajuwon 12-21-2011 12:04 AM

If I type the word "penis" will it send you into a giggling tizzy?

Providence Peep 12-21-2011 12:06 AM

At this point, I'm so overly-tired and delirious that just about anything would probably make me laugh.
It's got nothing to do with Justin Roberts himself, and everything to do with my tiredness.

Supreme Olajuwon 12-21-2011 12:08 AM

VAGINA!

Providence Peep 12-21-2011 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supreme Olajuwon (Post 3708313)
VAGINA!

That word makes me want to vomit, not laugh.

stultiloquy 12-21-2011 03:44 AM

Seems like a nice enough guy....he's a horrible announcer though.

"DEEOOUBLEYEW DEEOUBLEYEWEEEEEE Champion, JEEEEEEAAAAUUUUHHHHHGGGGGNN CEEEEEENNNNNAAAAUUUUUUGHHH!"

SlickyTrickyDamon 12-21-2011 04:13 AM

<img style="-webkit-user-select: none; ████████ -webkit-zoom-in; " src="http://community.maxupdates.tv/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Ken-Jeong-g.jpg" width="272" height="408">

CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAAAA

owenbrown 12-21-2011 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stultiloquy (Post 3708456)
Seems like a nice enough guy....he's a horrible announcer though.

"DEEOOUBLEYEW DEEOUBLEYEWEEEEEE Champion, JEEEEEEAAAAUUUUHHHHHGGGGGNN CEEEEEENNNNNAAAAUUUUUUGHHH!"

Apparently, he's actually laid off of the over-the-top announcements lately

#1-norm-fan 12-21-2011 04:45 AM

He has a ton of energy... which is pretty much like... 1 of 2 requirements for a ring announcer. I don't see why he's horrible.

SlickyTrickyDamon 12-21-2011 04:47 AM

I don't like the way he says... he is the blah blah champion.

#1-norm-fan 12-21-2011 04:48 AM

Also, he was on an episode of Jerry Springer. So I wouldn't really be surprised if he tried to sell vibrators as well.

SlickyTrickyDamon 12-21-2011 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by #1-wwf-fan (Post 3708514)
Also, he was on an episode of Jerry Springer. So I wouldn't really be surprised if he tried to sell vibrators as well.

Video please :D

#1-norm-fan 12-21-2011 04:57 AM

I just looked for it. The youtube video got taken down apparently. I'm currently googling.

#1-norm-fan 12-21-2011 05:00 AM

The title of the episode was "She's Sleeping with My Sister"

Sadly generic Jerry Springer Show title.

Sixx 12-21-2011 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Providence Peep (Post 3708315)
That word makes me want to vomit, not laugh.

Disturbing.

Mr. Nerfect 12-23-2011 10:28 PM

Justin Roberts was apparently also in Sleepless in Seattle and trained to be a referee so he could be in the ring with Curt Hennig.

Mr. Nerfect 12-23-2011 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ricardo Rodriguez on Twitter
My body is so beat up from TLC I'm actually ordering @justinroberts ' handstogo.com massager. I know they work. But I still hate him.

Awesome.

Aguakate 12-23-2011 10:44 PM

They should have a storyline where Jake Roberts shows up randomly one night, grabs a mic, gets in the ring and, as Justin is sitting at ringside, cuts a promo about how he's had a wild life full of vices and women, and ends it by saying "Justin...yo soy tu papa".

Pintint 12-23-2011 10:50 PM

I have nothing against Justin Roberts, but I dont like his announcing, I MUCH prefer Tony Chimmel.

Mr. Nerfect 12-23-2011 10:59 PM

Nah, much prefer Roberts. The best thing about Chimel was the way his voice would squeak when introducing Edge as "The Rated-R SUPERstar!" Here is how I would arrange the ring announcers:

RAW: Justin Roberts
SmackDown!: Lilian Garcia
NXT: Tony Chimel
Superstars: Howard Finkel (RAW portions), Tony Chimel (SmackDown! portions)
PPV: Justin Roberts

#1-norm-fan 12-23-2011 11:51 PM

You would have Howard Finkel call two matches every week on Superstars? :wtf:

Aguakate 12-23-2011 11:53 PM

LOL not only would he have Howard Finkel on Superstars, he'd have him call the "RAW portions" only.

stultiloquy 12-24-2011 05:48 AM

If it were up to me I'd have Finkel call RAW and the PPVs, and give Lillian Smackdown! and Superstars.

...and I would've cancelled NXT a loooong time ago.

Anybody Thrilla 12-24-2011 07:53 PM

Why does NXT bother you?

whiteyford 12-24-2011 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aguakate (Post 3711330)
LOL not only would he have Howard Finkel on Superstars, he'd have him call the "RAW portions" only.

Aren't the Raw and Smackdown matches filmed on seperate days,if they are then it makes sense for him to call only the Raw matches.

stultiloquy 12-24-2011 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla (Post 3712152)
Why does NXT bother you?

I've never been a fan of NXT because after watching the first 2 seasons it came off as clumsily planned and executed.

It also came off as disingenuous to me, much like any event in which WWE 'lets the fans decide'.
It comes off as pre-planned, in the sense that they already know who they're going to choose, regardless of fan input.

Also, the wrestlers on the show did very little for me; with a few scant exceptions the majority of the matches felt like watching cardboard cutouts botch their way through some seriously bland matches.

All-in-all I found it to be a boring, half-hearted, unnecessary show.

Anybody Thrilla 12-24-2011 09:13 PM

I wouldn't call it 'unnecessary'. It gives the rookies some exposure to larger crowds and a better feel for a real WWE arena that FCW just can't recreate. I understand you not wanting to watch it, but none of what you said makes it seem like it should be cancelled.

Anybody Thrilla 12-24-2011 09:14 PM

The first season is still some of my favorite stuff ever, though.

Mr. Nerfect 12-26-2011 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by #1-wwf-fan (Post 3711329)
You would have Howard Finkel call two matches every week on Superstars? :wtf:

If he's willing to do it, sure. Fink has expressed recently a desire to ring announce -- but why bump younger announcers from their positions? Fink can't do it forever. Let Fink call what's left over, and perhaps even become CM Punk's "personal ring announcer" during WWE Title reigns.

Mr. Nerfect 12-26-2011 05:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla (Post 3712256)
The first season is still some of my favorite stuff ever, though.

I agree. It kind of sucks that they stopped trying with it. The idea of an NXT where they actually have some Pros worth a damn gets me pretty excited.


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