Dark One goes to Smackdown, maybe posts 8/13 spoilers
 

Some matches are probably going to happen. Maybe stuff and things.
Will I have strong enough reception or wifi to post spoilers? WHO KNOWS! STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.

Spoiler #1: unsurprisingly, the outside of the arena in Portland, Oregon smells strongly of weed.

Note: since this is west coast, doors don't open until 9pm eastern, dark match an hour from then.

Please give details on Owen White if available :shifty:

Cesaro section signs going out. Hopefully he actually is on the show this week.

Did you bring your LOCK JAW sign?

Sure. You can't prove otherwise.

Seth Rollins Never Shuts Up shirt acquired.

Fat kid is upset his dad got him fifth row instead of third or first like me. Ugh.

First dark match: Owen White vs Brad Maddox w/ Del Rampo Jr. Maddox wins via DDT while Del Rampo streams it on Periscope.

I'm impressed. Reception in the cheap seats at the Bridgestone when I went to Raw in February was atrocious. I didn't even get text messages until I was out on the street afterwards.

Del Rampo is a prick

Wrestlemania video package followed up by dark match #2: SASHA GODDAMN BANKS vs BECKY FUCKING LYNCH. Possibly Main Event match.

Lynch wins via disarm her.

fantastic mobile post

That's the pun. Maybe disarmer or disarmher.

Main event first segment: Rusev promo then Rusev vs FANDAAAAHNGO

Rusev wins via accolade.

Rusev and Summer watching replay awkwardly waiting for flag to drop.

Stardust and Barrett backstage segment talking about Amell and Neville. Weird pairing but decent promo. Setting up A tag match with Truth and Henry for later.

Swaggie time now! He looks marginally happy to be here. Probably winning.

Swagger vs Adam Rose barn burner. Rose coming out solo.

Swaggie wins via ankle lock. MIRACLES DO HAPPEN.

Stardust and Barrett vs Truth and Mark Henry. Fun spots where Barrett covers Stardust's ears during a few Cody chants. The guys with the PPV match win via Bullhammer

Ryder vs Brad Maddox wearing suspenders and reciting Shakespeare in a weird English accent. This is not a joke.

I think he called himself Joshua Kingsley.

Owen White wins after cashing in a "jobber in the bank" briefcase... Which was just written on a piece of paper in sharpie.

Piper tribute, probably not for air, since Piper's family is here. People do not understand what "moment of silence" means.

Really awkward as they have a camera three inches from a crying family member's face.

Pretty good Rollins promo to open up. Seems to confirm Cena match for Summerslam. He challenges Cena to show up on Monday to actually accept his challenge. Neville interrupts and talks shit to Rollins. Rollins calls him a Mouseketeer with a Napoleon Complex.

Cesaro interrupts. Kevin Owens ambushes Cesaro. Rollins powerboats Neville in the corner. I'm guessing we've got ourselves a tag match main event playa.

There's a 60 something STILL REAL TO ME DAMNIT guy behind me who has challenged everyone that's come down the ramp to a fight. Including Naomi just now.

Charlotte beats Naomi with the Figure 8 in a six minute match that was 30% Naomi chin locks.

Very much a "classic" Divas match, and not in the good way.

THE RYBACK out for a promo about overcoming his staph infection. Pretty good promo. Bo Dallas out to tell him to BOlieve, RYBACK calls him Bobo. Bo Dallas wants in the Summerslam match. That's not going to happen. Bobo sucker punches RYBACK, gets a few shots in, and then THE RYBACK eats Bo Dallas

lol bobo

Roman vs Harper ends in a DQ when Bray makes the save. Dean, Roman, Harper, and Bray all brawl around ringside. Wyatts almost put Ambrose through the announcers table, but Roman makes the save and the Shied Bros stand tall.

Bonus brawl with the Wyatts now standing tall.



Just kidding. Spears for every one.

Sheamus backstage interview. Blah blah damn Randy Orton. Blah blah FELLA. Better than average Sheamus promo.

NEW DAY UP NEXT. Dunked on some scrub backstage again.

New Day tries to take a walk out of a match with PTP but Matadores and Licha Dragons cut them off. PTP beats New Day via Gut Check.

Owens and Rollins beat Cesaro and Neville when Rollins grabs the tights for a roll up on Cesaro. Rollins bails and leaves Owens to take some finishers and leave the faces standing tall.

Cesaro jumped into the crowd afterwards. Clearly loving the push and Cesaro section stuff.

This concludes The Dark One Experience.

I too am surprised that THE RYBACK even knows of our humble forums, let alone reading them.