1997 Coma guy wakes up, what's the first thing you tell him about wrestling?
 

Your lifelong wrestling friend fell off a balcony on 1st January 1997. He survived but has been in a coma since.

Miracles of miracles happen, and he suddenly awakens! You only have a minute to tell him about what he loves most - the wrestling world. Whats the first thing you tell him ?

Most of the guys he loved are dead

https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZEFVcALOJ...ockymaivia.jpg

This guy turned out to be the biggest action film star since Arnold

I know youve been in a coma for for 25 years but on the upside youve only missed 2 or 3 good bret hart matches

I tell him Hulk Hogan got cybernetic implants and is still on top of the wrestling world

I'd tell him. Ric Flair managed to clone himself into a female.

Marty Jannety wants to fuck his own daughter.

“Bad news…”

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"You didn't feel THAT strongly about Chris Benoit, right?"

“You didn’t feel THAT strongly about WCW, right?”

In 96 i doubt anyone felt too strongly about benoit

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, the blueblood guy, yeah him, he now runs WWE.

“Vince bought WCW in 2001 and then just stopped showing up to work. Wrestling never happened again. Don’t ask anymore questions. Now wait til you see how accessible the old shit is nowadays.”

Depends on whether coma guy was a smark or just a mainstream fan.

If the guy literally asked me about wrestling before anything else I'd still work in more important events.

"They put Donald Trump in the Hall of Fame and he became President of the United States a few years later"

"Isaac Yankem DDS was reinvented as an undead demon and now is the mayor of Knox County, Tennessee"

first thing i'm telling him is about the Screwjob

"Shit got weird... like real weird"

Yes, Sunny did finally pose nude. No, you don’t want to look it up.

Fuck that. If I’m 1997 coma guy I’m looking for that shit on Kazaa right away.

Hopefully his stockpile of AOL CDs will give him enough time to download

"WWE, yeah it's called WWE now instead of WWF, anyway, their ppvs are only 5 bucks a month and you get a bunch of non-wrestling content too...but that stuff isn't very good...also don't believe what you see here, no one wears clothes in public anymore. As soon as you get out of here, feel free to strip naked in the street. Don't let anyone try to stop you."

Deputy Dewey became the WCW World Heavyweight Champ

Sorry buddy, Blood didn't run cold.

I would just give him a list of every match Dave Meltzer has given 6 and three quarter stars and higher in that time

That’ll send him back into a coma quick.

What about filling him in on the happenings of September 11th, 2001?

Any Opie & Anthony fans ? Remember this classic moment :

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Damn right! :lol: