Taboo Tuesday Captions
 

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Jericho: Ok you proved your point Vince, now stop playing God!

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It was probably a bad idea to hold the PPV inside a giant flying blimp, especially when someone opened the door and depressurized everything.

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Shelton: "Whaddya mean you've never seen any dark skinned people like me before?!"

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Shelton didn't appreciate it when Heidenreich infiltrated the PPV.

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"Yes, I'd like one order of people caring please. Yes, to go."

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There was hell to pay when Austin's old girlfriends found him and got their revenge, forcing him into a thong and a tutu.

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Always pious, the girls give God an upskirt shot.

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It was the perfect plan: while Trish stole the shoe, Stevie Richards could go to work with his tongue. :naughty:

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Victoria's Cirque du Soleil act was highly astounding, though it unfortunately caused a few Victoria fans' heads to explode...

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She may have won the title, but Trish wasn't sure of the "being tied to a leash and treated like a bitch" first prize that Vince had set out.

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Seeing Kane already buried beyond recognition, Gene decided to relax on his invisible pool chair for the rest of the match.

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Kane: "GAHHH!!! MY STOMACH!!!"
Gene: "Well, that's your problem, Glenn. Your intestines are made of chains."

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Gene: "I didn't even hit you. Why are you selling?"
Kane: "Someone pasted a picture of HHH pumping away and Steph screaming like a banshee on the other side of the chair!!!"

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Where will you be when your constipation hits?

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JR: "F-5!!! F-5!!!"

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Eugene certainly had an odd way with his bird impressions.

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"Only twelve people are actually watching this PPV? DOH!"

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Bischoff: "I knew I shouldn't have insulted Brutus."

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You can't blame Eric for being a little pensive towards a guy with a head growing out of his scalp and a pair of sharp scissors in his hands.

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Vince: "And that's for standing up for Pat Patterson!!!"

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You think The Rock is getting a little desperate for innovatove roles?

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The exciting game of Freeze Wrestle was amazingly hard to do, but quite fun to watch.

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"Wheee!!! I'm a double champion! I can unite these and become undisputed!!! Wait a moment... didn't Jericho do something like this?"
:'(

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Christy: "I get to sleep with Vince tonight!"
Carmella: "No I get to bone him!!!"

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HHH: "Whoa. This invisible pool chair's kinda cool!"

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HBK & HHH: "No!!! Our hold down auras!!! Don't... leave us!!!"

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"Whaddya mean the fans were actually partially responsible for this???"

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Flair: "YOU SEE THAT ORTON??? I JUST POPPED YOUR CHERRY AND MADE YOU SCREAM, BITCH!!!"

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Flair wasn't too impressed with Orton's T-Rex impression.

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Flair: "AGH! The PMS bird strikes again!!!"

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Flair givin' Orton some "Prison Lovin' ;) "

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Orton: "Dammit Carrie, I said NOT TONIGHT!!!"

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Flair: "Congrats kid. I'm passing the torch to ya, and you deserve it."
Orton: "Thanks. Hey, you got a red mark on your head..."
Flair: "STOP WITH THE TERM-- @*(&^)#&^#&!@(&^(#&(^%@!!!!" *head explodes*
Orton: "Didn't mean to actually kill that legend..." *whistles and walks away*

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Chris Jericho jumps over Shelton into the loving arms of his fans... Of course, you'd never guess it with that DX shirt guy and the Christian look alike guy...

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Shelton: Interfakenental? WTF!?
Jericho: Let me see that! Well I'll be damned! It's a fucking fake!

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Shelton: VIIINCE! I WANT MY REAL FUCKING TITLE!

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Stacy: Point to the sky cause the knees aint talkin!

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Steve Austin didn't think this was his ideal comeback match...

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Victoria: **PUSH** TIMMMBERRRRR!
Molly and Trish: STOP THAT!

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Legs legs the wonderful tool, the more you use, the better you feel, so lets use legs!

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Victoria didn't exactly have Taker's "flip-over-ropes" move down...

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Lillian: Here is your winner, and NEW WWE Women's Champion, Pippi Long Stockings!

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Rock: Who's he trying to fool?

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Kane: DON'T TOUCH ME! **Sniff** YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Gene: Oh come on, that dog is in a better place now...
Kane: STOP IT! **Rolls around crying**

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Gene demonstrates how to stop a chair with his hand...
Gene: OW! FUCK THAT HURT!

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Gene: IT'S COLD IN HERE! **Looks at nipples** :$

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JR: BAHGAWDFU5!

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Sweet Jesus! Hogan must be using Super Rogaine! He lost some weight, too! DAMN!

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Bischoff: WIND!

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Bischoff: SHIT! I left the oven on, damnit!

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Seconds later, Uncle Eric gets an unpleasent suprise when Eugene slips and the scissors go right through his skull...

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Vince: Only you can get release from a hair cut, Eric...
Eric: Yes... YES!!!

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The Rock's new floral pattern vest didn't exactly get over too well...

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Benoit: GOT YER HEAD!

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Benoit (To himself): Pretend they're the IC and World titles... Pretend they're the IC and World titles... Pretend they're the IC and Wo... Aw fuck it, it aint working...

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WWE buys the cheapest pillows for the segments... I mean, feathers always go everywhere! And that's another thing... Why are they always feather pillows?

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HBK: This is gonna hurt...

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Triple H: Help me God! Help me defeat...
God: Shut up Hunter...

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Triple H: **Looks over at Tron** Well hello! Who's that pretty boy? Who is... Oh, that's ME!.... :naughty:

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Flair: EAT THE FUCKING CAGE! YOU LIKE IT!
Orton: Actually, it DOES have an acquired taste...

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Orton: OHHHH! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD IT HURTS!
Flair: I didn't do anything...
Orton: OHHH! IT HURTS... Say what?

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Seconds later, the ref makes a heel turn and pulls Flair to safety, then smashes the cage into Orton's head...

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Earl: Is that... IT IS! IT'S A SEVERED LEG!

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Orton: We are now... BLOOD BROTHERS!
Flair and Orton: MWHAHAHAHA!

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The two fans were later ejected for throwing a couple of midcarder's in the ring


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Apollo Creed couldn't believe he'd finally regained the Heavyweight Championship


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Creed's statue was NOT to be placed in Philidelphia though

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Stacy Keibler impressed everyone with her new leviation ring entrance

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Molly - 'Do we really need this mannaquin?'
Trish - 'This plastic won't last forever you know'

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The US Olymipic Synchronised Wrestling team had a bit of a nightmare evening

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Stacy tried hard to remove the piece of Trish she had stuck to her shoe

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Fans had voted for the 'No Gravity' match with no care for the women's attires

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Trish although victorious, was hung for crimes against upper mid-carder's careers

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Kane was suffered severe internal injuries from the smell of Snitky's poisoned deodorant

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Snitsky - *tickle tickle* Give up..!'
Kane - No more! No more...! I can't stand it

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Gene, uncharacteristically caring, helped Kane remove the chair lodged in his face

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Snitsky had been in the ring a while, and couldn't wait to get to the back to relieve himself

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Eugene - 'Mom, Mom, I caught meself a Bisch!'

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Just as the ref counted towards 3, a spear lodged in Eugene, yanking him away from the prone Bischoff

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Hungry Eugene was ready to feast on the hair and brains of Uncle Eric

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Vince - 'Repeat after me, WCW was your bitch Mr McMahon'

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Much to the shock of the crowd, The Rock and Stone Cold moulded together aas one......

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Benoit, Conway and Referee combined to form a small box, trapping a poor cameraman

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Benoit - 'I got 2 belts, can you say that Trips, can you?'
HHH - 'Just wait til Monday Chris, Rosey and The Hurricane are primed and ready'

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The new ringside bed caused much trouble between the women

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Triple H, tired of this earth, used his newly found Jedi Powers to force Michaels to quit

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HHH - 'Muhahaha, another vctory....what do you mean I'm 30 feet in the air?'

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The Dentist In A Cage match was a raging success

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Orton reacted in dismay at the sight of Flairs 'man-breasts'

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In a shock ending, Orton returned after death as a Zombie and began to rip Flair's body from the bottom up

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Despite the loss of his legs, Orton celebrated victory

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Orton - 'So we're cool with that yeah, next time we skip the tomato soup?'

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Jericho: GOD DAMMIT HUNTER!
Hunter: Good Ol' Inverted Crucifix

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Belty: Hey Mark, you lost weight?
Shelton: I ain't Mark Henry!
Belty: I'll be damned!
Shelton: I AIN'T FAROOQ!
Belty: You got a catchphrase?
Shelton: Nope
Belty: *sigh* we're gonna be together for a while

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Shelton: THIS IS MINE! THIS IS WHERE MY BABIES COME FROM!
Crowd: :wtf:

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All legal men everywhere: Wow...I am so going to jail

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Molly loves Jenna, new bestseller

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Victoria: Stacy what sign are you?
Stacy: Virgo, why?
Victoria: From here you look like a Pisces

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Hottest. 619. Ever

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I know Jenna wanted a career change, but damn she still got it!

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Kane: Ow! my credibility!

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Kane: AH!
Snitsky: THATS WHAT YOU GET, YOU BOTCHED MY CAVITY!

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not a caption, but ...
Judging from the pics, did Kane get any offense in?

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It was this exact moment in history that Tommy Dreamer fooled the world...

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Somewhere...out there...Macho Man is laughing his ass off

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Bischoff: you mean people blame me for Nitro?

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The Rock in ... Mrs. Doubtfireyourcandyass

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Benoit: Eh, better than jobbing to Luther

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Carmella: HE'S MINE!
Christy: NO, MINE!
Carmella: Innovator liked me first!

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Triple H: God?
God: Wrong guy Hunter!
Buddha: It's ok...I'm used to it

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Triple H: 5...4...3...2...1
*Jericho walks into room*
Jericho: Is this the main event push giveaway?
Steph: I've been waiting for you big boy
Jericho: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Flair: Don't worry, we'll get this Thriller dance down pat

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Orton: Dude you're bleeding!
Flair: Dude so are you!
Orton and Flair: duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude

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Benjamin: Dammit, we're both falling over....!!!
Jericho: Whoop dee fucking doo....

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*shelton farts*
Fan in audience: Now that smelt good.

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Benjamin: I AM THE KING OF THE JUNGLE!!!!!

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Vince figures transexuals and drag queens would bring up ratings in WWE TV.

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Molly: Trish, why don't you reach down there between the legs, and see what you pull back out?
Trish: You expect me to pull out a baby rabbit?

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Molly: I swear she's hiding a 100 dollar bill.
Trish: Shake her harder and maybe it will fall out.
Victoria: You bitches, the 100 bill is stuck between her ass.

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With the sidekick being the only move that Stacy Kiebler knows is the reason she needs to go to Smackdown.

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Vicky: I didn't know ballet dancing was part of this?

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Trish shows the audience that she can date any guy she wants with her having the belt.

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Fat guy in audience in background: "Well it's not my fault that I'm taking up two rows..."

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Ref: It's not my fault Kane did this.

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Kane: Well so much for the chain match....

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Snitsky: So whatcha do when the Snitsker runs hog wild on yoooouuuuuuu...

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Eugene: Hi Mom, look what I found under the ring, Uncle Eric.

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Eugene: WWWWWEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......

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Bischoff: No, I'm diagnosed with cancer!!!

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King Lawler: "Bischoff don't close your eyes, Eugene's nipples are not that bad."

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Bischoff: Be careful with your own hand or you'll end up like Luke Skywalker...

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Vince: When you're done Eric, I'm next...a bald Vince McMahon won't be bad, eh? :)
Bischoff: NOOOOOOOooooooo...not a bald Vince please!!!

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Is that the Rock or Stone Cold or both mixed into one?

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HHH: I am still the champion!!! (looks toward audience) Huh? Hey, what's Pat Patterson doing in the audience?

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Orton: Why are you shaking my hand? I'm supposed to be the legend killer?
Flair: Then kill me then.

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WWE introduces the new lumberjacks for Taboo Tuesday.

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Looking into the crystal belt of the future, Shelton sees a face of Triple H on a throne getting served cookies and milk.

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It worked for Brock Lesnar: When force didnt work, even Snitsky resembles to tickling.

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The Shnizzbot Elbow Drop!

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Bishoff: LITA HAS TO CUT MY HAIR?!?!?!?!?!

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Bishoff: (While getting a haircut) So then my wife walks in the kitchen and asks to pick up a gallon of milk for five dollars. I looked that bitch right in the eyes and said "No Way".

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Orton was told not to go inside and pet the gorilla, now look what happened.

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Satan: Orton, you have sinned!
Orton: NOOOO NOOOO NOO!!!!
Flair: AHAHAHA! WHAHAHA! WOO WOO!

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Flair: Hello Orton, I've come to meet you!
Orton: Who are you?
Flair: I'm you in 30 years with senility in high gear, standing in front of the bathroom mirror after realizing that when you shave you go up and down, not left and sideways.

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Orton: Ric, if you get into trouble with Triple H, just make the sound of a dying giraffe.
Flair: What does a dying giraffe sound like?
Orton: Like this...Eyaaahhh! Eyaaaaahhh!


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Earl: Here's your winner...oooh...look at the kitty.
Orton: You're supposed to be raising my hand!
Earl: Did I just fart?
Orton: :nono:

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Flair: Nice Kane mask.
Orton: Thanks.

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Orton: HELP!!! MY ARM IS HURTTTTIIIINNNNNNnnngggggg.....
Flair: Well the doctor is in, call me Dr. Flair.

<font color=cyan>Well, after a few weeks off from captions, yeah, I’m doing them again. Well, tra la la! Didn’t read them, just gonna do them.

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Shelton Benjamin helps Moongoose McQueen get over his fear of stage diving, the same way my dad taught me how to swim.

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<b>Vince:</b> What’s this? A credible Intercontinental Champion who doesn’t fit the stereotypical champion image, who didn’t give me a B&J sandwich…
<b>Shelton:</b> Hey Rhyno, I may need some help holding onto this title.

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“This goes out to all the great African American wrestlers that came before me! Tony Atlas, Rocky Johnson, Booker T…. Uhhhh…. And Tony Atlas!”

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Raise your hand if you know that every guy seeing this is gonna get a stiffy.

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<b>Trish:</b> I want a pony!
<b>Molly:</b> You shouldn’t say your wish! Then it won’t come true!

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What the crap is Fit teaching them? It shouldn’t take 3 of them to do a suplex!

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What a naughty boy, that Harry Potter! Taking advantage of his cloak of invisibility like that!

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<b>JR:</b> BAH GAWD DROP KICK TO STEVEN RICHARDS!

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Realizing that her title is nothing more than the “who was the last person to give Vince McMahon head” award, Trish gets ready to hang herself in shame, for holding the title for so long, so many times.

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<b>Gene:</b> I’m a tug boat! Toot Toot!
<b>Kane:</b> That is so lame.
<b>Gene:</b> IT’S NOT MY FAULT!!!!

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<b>Kane:</b> So Vince, I was thinking… just hear me out… Pat may be onto something… But more importantly, how is the end of my match going to be?
<b>Vince:</b> Well, I WAS going to have you squash Gene, but for bringing up the name of Paterson to me, you’re tapping out when he tickles you.
<b>Kane:</b> But that’s no fair!
<b>Vince:</b> DAMN IT, YOU’RE LUCKY I’M IN A GOOD MOOD! NOW LEAVE SO I CAN GO BACK TO TEARING THE WINGS OFF OF FLIES!

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And on the other side of the chair is a picture of Steph and Triple H on their honeymoon.

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<b>P.A:</b> Where will you be when you’re diarrhea acts up?
<b>Gene:</b> I’ll be right here….
<b>P.A.:</b> Next time use Exlax2001!
<b>Gene:</b> But the drug store was out, and it’s NOT MY FA….. gotta go!

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We all know that Nick Dinsmore is a talented wrestler, but when he was told that he could have carried WCW’s excess baggage, he took it a little to literally…

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<b>Hulk Hogan:</b> Ha, look! Some retard is doing a leg drop!
<b>Hulk Hogan’s Magic Mirror:</b> Like you’re one to talk.

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<b>Eric:</b> Why yes, this is wonderful shampoo you gave me Mr. Random Person. Where did you get it from… why are you laughing… you got it from Rhyno, didn’t you?

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<b>Eric:</b> Yes! I know Kung-Fu, sharp shooting, and how to make a divine raspberry torte!

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By the look in his eyes you can tell he was scared as hell… Eric knew it was a hair cut, but Eugene thought they were playing “Three Stooges”

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“Next time you’ll think twice before taking the last peppermint from my candy dish!”

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The Fab 5 botches The Rock’s makeover.

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No one tells Chris Benoit to “talk to the hand”

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<b>Vince:</b> Why are you holding the tag team titles upside down?
<b>Benoit:</b> There’s still a few drops of credibility in them.

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<b>Carmella:</b> You are a total prostitute!
<b>Christy:</b> Hey. That's how things really are. You just don't know, because you're this pampered little suburban chick.
<b>Carmella:</b> So are you. You've only been in Raw Magazine once, and you looked fat, so stop acting like you're goddamn Christy Hemme!
<b>Christy:</b> But I am....
<font size=1>*reps for the reference*</font size>

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<b>HHH:</b> Hey Shawn, I can do The People’s Elbow better than The Rock, can’t I?
<b>HBK:</b> Yes Indeed!!!!! You, sir, are the man! <font size=1>Please don’t send me to midcard hell!</font size> You rule the ring, Hunter!

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To further solidify his heel status, Triple H puts the togan death grip on God.

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“woo hoo, kept the title, i’m the man :| Can I get my root-beer now?”

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<b>Randy:</b> For the last time, I didn’t steal the diamond, and I’m NOT wearing a mask!

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<b>Randy:</b> OUCH! WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST STAND ON!
<b>Sean:</b> Sorry, left some hotwheels out.
<b>Ric:</b> Why are we using Sean’s cage?
<b>Sean:</b> Well, Vince didn’t know what kind of match it would be, and he has may cage in the arena anyways….

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<b>Sean:</b> And then on the 24th day I was stuck in here I learned how to make flan!
<b>Ric:</b> Let me out! Let me out!
<b>Randy:</b> Me first!
<b>Sean:</b> It was really tasty.

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<b>Randy:</b> I won! Yes! I won! I am the legend killer!
<b>Earl:</b> Uh, Randy, legs… where are they?

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And now some rate footage of Randy Orton VS Ric Flair from the ECW Thumbwar Tournament.

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<b>Luna Vachon:</b> What does she have that I don’t?

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Eric knew he was going to be sorry when he argued that Pat Patterson was the best IC champion ever.

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Vince wanted to try Eugene "The Retarded barber" Dinsmore gimmick

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And at this point Mark Henry thanks Dean Simon for helping him get in shape to win the title!

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You will worship the chair or feel it's wrath.

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Hulk Hogan vitamins did this to me.

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What do you mean Coach used to be a woman?!?

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Coach models the new Hillfinger dress line for men.

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Shawn shows great promise with his side show magic trick of levitating Hunter with his leg.

**Note: I did not read any captions .. CAPTIONS!**
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JR: BAWBAWD! MID AIR SPINNAROONIE!
Jericho: **humming Booker T theme**
Benjamin (stereotypical Japanese dub voice): HA HAHA.. VERY FUNNY!

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Benjamin: Oh, my beloved chocolate bar.. how I love to lick your creamy center... **licking title VERY slowly**..

HHH (backstage): What a sick freak! **rubs title all over while in a pigpen**

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Benjamin: Ain't no stoppin' me-- (looks at Titantron) DEAR GOD, I LOOK LIKE A BLACK GOLDBERG! AHHH!!!

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Even with glasses, Stacy still couldn't see the roller coaster car coming her way.

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Trish: RANDOM MS. PACMAN! BAKABAKA!
Molly: ..I don't get it.
Trish: Hm.. Well, you see, the game basically had a ch-- **EATEN BY BLUE GHOST!!**

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It just didn't work for the ending of the show. You just CAN'T have girls jumping on glass ceilings.

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She's got Sakura's uniform, Cammy's hair, and Chung-Li's moves.. she obviously likes Tetris.. or Street Fighter, whichever.

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gonMad (turning on huge vacuum): Damn it! I left wifeMad to be with you! Come here, Vicky! **menacing laugh**
Vicky: NNOOOOO!!!
gonMad: ...ah, well. I tried. (shuts off vaccum and leaves).

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Trish = Death by Erector Set.

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Snitsky: 'Now I got'.. (scratches head) um, what did those cards say again?
Kane: ..ugh, 'YOU' !
Snitsky: ME? ..It's not ... um, line?
Kane: Fuck.. **leaves to film movie**

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Ref: No! He's been very sensitive about his weight lately.
Snitsky: Oh, sorry.. **unties CLUB and chain from bar around Kane**

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Snitsky: **plays air guitar on chair with mouth**
Kane (singing): More than words, 'cause I know that you do ..words ..stuff.. MINE!

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The one thing that can calm down a Snitsky-fit: A Titantron viewing of the film 'Garfield'.

Snitsky: ..cat?... Dancing? Hehe..

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eneguE: Mom.. Uncle did his that 'impression' he did at New Years.. again.

Bischoff: ...NooOOog.. you LIKE the A's.. yOu ccamel toe.. **snoring**

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Eugene: BROCK LESNAR! WM19! SHOOTING STAR PR-- **lands on neck**....
Bischoff: Oh, you and your impre.. wait..

MORE LATER.. right??

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In another effort to win new fans Vince gives the title to Ja Rule
Or
Who said winning the belt wouldn't give Shelton a big head??

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Jericho: So if I wave my hand in front of my face, I'll become invisible?

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Shelton: *reading* Eternal....Jobber Title?

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Its not good to stand in the ring when the glass ceiling decides to come down.

Later is now.. MORE CAPS!

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...And Bischoff is still learning the Macarena.

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Eugene: Don't worry! I saw a 'Happy Tree Friends' episode that showed me how--
Bischoff: OOH, SHI- **Razor jams through skull**

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He may have made many blockbuster movies, but damn it if Peter Jackson knows how to cut hair too.

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Vince: So, what do you say now.. Eric??
Eric: Can't talk, recalling naughty phone calls from Bill O...OOH..Reilly!
Eugene: Oh, sorry about that.. is it ok that I ..added highlights... red ones??

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The Coach: If you get a wiff.. of what.. I am currently baking! .. **puts the other people's frown on **

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Conway: **plays 'Greensleeves' on ref's keyboard shirt**
Benoit: AHH! YOU'RE OFF A KEY!

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Benoit: YES! I am the champ.. 'Tag team' ? Ehhww.. **throws into random fireplace, burns up**

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EXTREME WASTE OF TIME!

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HHH: Now I will .. **scratchs head** um, now what???
HBK: NOT break my leg??
HHH (holding his leg): AAAHHH!!
HBK: Wow.. that worked.. **holds his leg** OW!

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HBK: ..how to beat him..OH! RAISE THE SUN-ROOF!
Gangrel/Viscera/HHH: NOOOOOO!!!! **poof**

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HHH: You mean baseball has champions, too? **throws belt, grabs sledgehammer**.. I'll show them!

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Flair: Guess who???
RKO: AHH! You asshole! It's my eyes you cover! And stop using your tai-pei tape!

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RKO: AHH!! MY GOD! How you have aged in this cage, Mordecai....
Mordecai: It's alright.. I feed on apple cores and toe nails. It's all good.

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Flair: Live from New York.. IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!!

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Earl: I think you have a problem, Randy..
RKO: OK! Alright, I killed and drank a Unicorn's blood ..Alright?!
Earl: ..No, I was going to say that Flair stepped on your cell phone, but, yeah.. that's pretty bad too..

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Worst. Staring Contest result. ever.

END!

LOL, Always used the exact same idea as I did... and three different people did the legless Orton thing. :D

<font color=cyan>Wow... it seems a few of "my" captions were repeats of others... Well, sorry for stealing jokes, but it's NOT MY FAULT!!!! :D