SmackDown! Captions: 11/04/04
 

BY GOSH, IT'S JOSH! ... that is the stupidiest thing I've heard ..no, second.

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Orlando: "WTF, man, you ain't flying, you gotta fucking black cable wire tied around your back, punk..."
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Angle: "Are my eyes crossed?"
Kid on right: "Yep."
Angle: "How are they now?"
Kid on right: "Still crossed."
Angle: "Good, now you try crossing them. If you cross your eyes like how I'm doing it, you're the winner of Tough Enough."
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Doing pushups in the WWE boot camp...
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Big Show: How many times have I told you? I AM NOT KING KONG BUNDY!!!
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Heidenrich: Did you just say I'm the next on McMahon's release list?
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Heyman: Um, the bathroom's in the locker rooms.
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Snow: How much do you want a bet that none of these guys have gotten laid?
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Man in middle: That ain't Torrie Wilson.
Long hair guy on left: Looks funny doesn't she?
Black man on right: I don't it's a she or a he.
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Booker T does a Stevie Wonder impersonation.

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JR: BAH GAWD! It's Peter Parker! Bah Gawd! Parker! Parker! Parker!
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Kurt *squeezing guys testicals*:...and if you ever call me Elmer Fudd again,I'll rip these off and shove em up your nose!
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Heidenrich was so desprate not to be fired he began scanning the mat for even the smallest bit of talent.
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I think thats the last time Bubba tries to cut off Big Show in the Buffet line.
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As RVD held onto to Spiderman to escape the maniacal firing spree,RVD couldn't help but kick everyone he passed.
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Heidenrich:No! Bambies mother DIDN'T die :mad: ....Paul said she just went on a vacation :'(
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Heidenrich debuts his new gimmick..The Underraper
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Al:Who will win this Tough enough is up to you,the fans.Before you vote lets look at the tron and see how they progressed this week.
*The whole arena gets up and goes to the lobby*
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After his inevitable release Nunzio tries to get back on the roster,disguised as Torri Wilson.
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When Bungee Jumpers Attack!



sorry if they suck.Its my first time trying to do all of them.

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Heidenrape waits for Hass to open his eyes to some Heidenrape

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The guy was not amused by Angle's impression of Paris Hilton.

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Angle: Good, just make sure there is no more spiders or HHH will fire us all.

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Show: IS THAT TWISTED SISTER PIN... ON YOUR UNIFORM!?!!

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RVD: WIPEOUT!!
Jindrak: Damn you kids and your invisible hover bikes!

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Heidenreich: Rah rent reu ru ru rant rarrles rin roum rour..!! Rourourouch!
**Translation** Why do I have all these marbles in my mouth! Micky Rourke!

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Heiden: So if you do this, will I be allowed to be write again on Poetry.com?
Haas: Um.. yeah... :shifty: ...NOW OPEN YOUR MOUTH!

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Snow: **unzips pants** .... Um.. you mind ? I can't go while you watch.

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Torrie: And you mister.. you are too bald! Hee, I feel like that blonde girl army movie!
Justice: That's "PRIVATE Benjamin"!
Torrie: ...I like johnsons!
Guys: :naughty:

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Worst. RKO. ever.... (looks at JBL) ...wait, nevermind! GIVE THAT MAN THE CHAMPIONSHIP NOW!

END!.. 'cause I got released.

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Black guy: *ding*
Guy in the middle: *ding*
Shockey look a like: ......DING

isnt that off family guy?

Fin'ly, The Loop HAS COME BACK...to captioning!
 

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COLE: Orlando Jordan spits on Josh Mathews...WITH AUTHORITY!

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KURT: You call that a vase?!? I should kick your ass!

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KURT: Not bad, not bad. With a little practice, you'll be ready to try it with women!

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Big Show struggled to contain his laughter after he finally figured out the "get wood" joke.

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Sure, Kurt Angle's a hell of a technician, but can he do the Ankle Lock WITH HIS NECK?!?

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HEIDENREICH: You still have a job?

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HEIDENREICH: It's not working, Paul!
HEYMAN: No! NOOOO! Stop it, Jon!
HEIDENREICH: What?
HEYMAN: You can't skull-fuck someone if they still have their eyes!
HEIDENREICH: ...oh. Hey, I should write a poe--
HEYMAN: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! JON, WHY?!?

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AL: I would like to introduce you to the "Tough Enough" finalists. That's Chris Babaganoush. Mike Babaganoush. Ryan Babaganoush. Daniel Babaganoush...

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TORRIE: ...you put spikes on their shoulder pads!
RODIMER: I don't get it...

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The fact that JBL reversed this into a tilt-a-whirl DDT silenced even his harshest critics.

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What is the WWE coming to? Penis Head vs. Josh Mathews in a condom on a pole match? Comeon...

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Kurt: I'm gonna suck your face if you don't shut up...

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Kurt: That's right you bitches! ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO! ONE... *Looks down* Hrm... ENOUGH!... Well, maybe ten more :naughty:

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It's raining ECW talent and tables! Big Show better get outa there!

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RVD: MATRIX STAHHHLLLL!

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Heidenreich: YOU... No, not you, I don't like your kind.....

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Heidenreich: ... YOU on the other hand.... *Sticks tongue out*

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The penis size contest was off to a great start... Atleast until a drunk Al Snow wandered in...

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Guy on Left: *Kissy sounds*
Guy in Middle (Thinking): Keep it above the neck... Keep it above the neck... Keep it... *Peek* :eek:
Guy on Right: Whatchutalkinbout Torrie!?

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Michael Cole: OH MY GOD! AN INVISIBLE PILEDRIVER!

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Kurt Angle: Whats your name, fatbody?
TEC: Sir, Leanord Laurence, sir.
Kurt Angle: Laurence what? Of Moriddya?
TEC: Sir no sir.
Kurt Angle: Only ******s and sailors are called Laurence. But you dont really look like a steer to me. Do you suck dicks?
TEC: Sir no sir.
Kurt ANgle: Bowl shit I bet you could suck a golf ball threw a garden hose.
TEC: Sir no sir.

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Heidenreich: (to Torrie) IM GONNA RIP YOUR BALLS OFF SO YOU CANNOT CONTAMINATE WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD

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Guy: (reading) Triple H was here....what the...??

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Josh Mathews: Fly away Peter! Off to Neverland!

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Kurt Angle: Excuse me, me and Tony Chimmel (hand with microphone) are having a "whoopdy-doo" moment.

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When he felt something wriggling under him, Daniel Puder came to the realisation that Steven Richards was released form RAW...

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Bubba Ray Dudley: Daddy! Please change me!

The Big Show: OH GOD!

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Rob Van Dam took his martial arts gimmick to a new level by hitting a lethal kick to the throat, while swining a katana in his left hand.

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Heidenreich: What do you mean Little Johnny's got a better chance at keeping his job than me?

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Paul Heyman: Holy Sh*t! That's what Heidenreich did to my Jewish cousin!

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Al Snow's new gimmick was an instant heat catcher.

Al Snow (singing): One of these things is not like the other...

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To avoid being released, Shannon Moore once again changed his...uhem...image.

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After being released, Rhyno got his revenge with SUPERGLUE!

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"Ok lets play 'Find the black guy'"

Have't read jack. Here goes nothing...

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In the UPN version of the story, Peter Pan returns and battles a black Smee in order to get his hands on captain hook.

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There was only one way to truly test if the kids were Tough Enough... administer the Halitosis Endurance Test.

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Angle: "Damn, Hunter got here fast."

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Big Show: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! YOU BROKE... TABLE-Y!!!!! YOU MONSTER!!!" :'(

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The WWE production of Crouching Pothead Hidden Jindrak was an amazing hit.

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Heidenreich's new Austin gimmick was working great!

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Heidenreich: "WATCH ME USE MY TONGUE!!!! LAAAAA!!!!"
Haas: "Oh no, please don't let--hey, it really IS a little Johnny..."

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Naturally, Torrie goes for the biggest cock.

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Booker poses after JBL accidentally walks into Hunter's Cruiserweight Snare Trap.

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Show didn't take it well when he learned that the guy who serves him his 4:00 snack of moose had been fired.

Hey, this actaully does sort of turn into a weird sort of knockoff of Peter Pan.

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Peter Pan, from Lagana Lagoon, where talent never goes up, chased his shadow until he finally caught up with it. He absorbed it when he arrived at the Wendison house hold.

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Meanwhile, Kurt Wendison was yelling at his children for spilling his glass of milk.

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As punishment, Mr Wendison forced his children to do push-ups.

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In came Peter Pan to save the boys, but there was only enough fairy dust for two people. They decided Jackie Wendison would go (being the only female), but the boys couldn't decide which male member of the family would go. Bubba Wendison and Paul Wendison fought over the dust, while Bubba held the dust in his right hand, but Big Wendison grabbed him by the throat and smashed him through a table.

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Eventually Robbie Wendison got the dust, but Mark Wendison grabbed him by the foot, and prevented him from going., while Peter Pan and Jackie Wendison tried to pull him out the window. Mark won, so it was just Peter & Jackie going to Lagana Lagoon.

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Smeedenreich grabbed Jackie when her and Peter got split up, Smeedenreich told her that there was a pirate spy that was going to get Peter, he was about to kill her but she was saved by a "lost talent".

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Smeedenreich killed the lost talent, and degraded his body, as one of his pirate partners in crime watched on satisfyed (they don't get much action at sea). (Actually, I think Heyman does look a bit like Smee)

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Jackie went to tell the lost talents about the loss of their "brother". Then she remembered that Smeedenreich told her that there was a spy.

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Torriebell, used her magic powers to determine which of the brothers wasn't really related to them, and was the spy.

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"Agent Smith" retreated and told Captain Book, about Peter Pan bringing Jackie to Lagana Lagoon. Peter Pan confronted Captain Book and they did combat, with Peter Pan flying around, and Captain Book trying to get him with his lethal right hand. But we all know who's going to go over in that match. :(

^ LMAO!!! :y: :y: :y: for that! :lol:

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