| Lamuella |
04-10-2005 05:07 PM |
the rest of that post:
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Since I recieved the email this morning, right after I woke up, I didn't have enough creative juice to throw in some Leonard Crabs action, so I just replied with the following:
Quote:
Dear Chris Lewis, Director of Communications for Ultimate Creations, Inc.,
Since I assumed your client, Mr. Ultimate Warrior, fell off the face of the Earth sometime after his stunning career in the WWF, I had to do an Internet search and determine exact what your client, Senor Warrior, was up to these days. I naturally expected to read a lengthy series of news snippets with titles such as "FORMER WRESTLER SPEAKS OUT AGAINST TOOTH DECAY" or "PREVIOUS WWF SUPERSTAR CLAIMS VICTORY OVER HALITOSIS," but instead I discovered he is a very animated, lively conservative activist!
I read his article about something happening at the University of Connecticut, and believe your zealous pursuit of legal action goes against Dr. Warrior's own wishes. For example, he writes:
"It’s funny how you could find the words to distance yourselves from the truths I was unafraid to tell, but could not find any words - not one - to tell about the indecent, moronic, and uncivil acts of those who were present who literally threaten the sanity and lawfulness of this world. Every single word you wrote and each silent implication you made said nothing less than that you were unoffended and OK with your opponents' exercise of their First Amendment rights, but offended by mine simply because I put them down bluntly and without political correctness."
This exactly describes what is occurring here. People are using their First Amendment rights "to tell about the indecent, moronic, and uncivil acts of those who were present." Your issue here arises because your label of who the uncivil folks were differs from theirs. You are attempting to squash their First Amendment rights under the guise of yet another liberal lawsuit, claiming "oh free speech is a-okay just as long as it doesn't offend me personally!"
So which side is your spokesperson for? Free speech or censorship? You guys sound an awful lot like a liberal operation to me, whining and threatening lawsuits when your precious "free speech" offends you. You guys, of all people, should be able to realize that.
If King Warrior would like a free forums account to defend himself against the opinions of others, tell me to email me with what details he'd like and I'll give him one. But hell, I'm not going to remove anything or apologize for folks using their god-given right to express their own opinions, and you can set whatever deadline on whatever date you like, but you're not going to scare me with your whiny liberal tactics.
- Rich
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I thought it would be awesome to give THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR a free forums account and let him suplex you faggots all over the place here. But I guess Chris Lewis, Director of Communications for Ultimate Creations, Inc., didn't agree!
Quote:
FROM: Chris Lewis cl9904@msn.com
TO: webmaster@somethingawful.com
CC: mrwarrior@earthlink.net
Dear Mr. Kyanka,
It's sad to see that your judgment is as poor as the quality of your site.
You see, it is our position that you are taking the liberal position - claiming First Amendment protection for something that clearly goes beyond the scope of protected speech as envisioned by the Founding Fathers. The First Amendment should not and cannot be construed to defend violation of others' intellectual property rights or to libel them (which is the case here) or to offend others' sense of morality (which is the case with pornography, etc.). Your attack is so malicious and baseless that it is wholly without merit. Even when these violations come from someone as relatively inconsequential and unsuccessful as yourself, they must be addressed properly.
I am not going to debate conservativism versus liberalism with you. I have put you on notice that you are libelling my client, and you have responded in a fashion that is evidence that you have received that notice and do not intend to comply with our simple requests. I was, however, somewhat amused by your offer of a forum to Warrior - like if he's going to make a public statement, it would be to you? Right.
You've expressed your thoughts clearly. Just remember now - we gave you a fair chance to resolve this amicably.
Sincerely,
Chris Lewis
Director of Communications
Ultimate Creations, Inc.
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To which I replied:
Quote:
Dear Mr. Director of Communications,
I look forward to your exciting lawsuit! I simply cannot wait to read the next exciting, action-filled update by Mr. Warrior detailing how the Internet is a vast liberal plot to destroy humanity and make the entire Earth blow up like a gigantic cake crammed full of homosexuals and foreigners. Both of you remind me how all political extremities, both far left and far right, embrace the exact same rhetoric. God bless America, the land of the lawsuit and the home of the offended. May you and your bicycle streamer-wearing boss both enjoy a successful libel / slander / intellectual copyright / insane washed up "pro" wrestler lawsuit against me. I have but one request: can "Mean" Gene Okerlund be present in the court when your boss testifies against me?
Sincerely,
Richard Kyanka
Director of Communications and Busting Folding Chairs Over Suckers' Heads
Something Awful Creations, Inc.
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I guess it's just a matter of time before we're now sued by THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR and CHRIS LEWIS, DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS, ULTIMATE CREATIONS, INC., so maybe if everybody hurries up and starts talking about how awesome Mr. Warrior is and how we agree with his views, we'll be saved! Hurry up folks, the fate of this site depends on it!!! |
