Wrestling Craptions
 

That's right. Craptions. Here's where we caption pictures of old-school AWFUL gimmicks. We're starting with WWE's bad gimmicks that start with "A."

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Adam Bomb
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"Adorable" Adrian Adonis
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Akeem
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Aldo Montoya

I'll do mine tomorrow. I want to see what Cork and the gang can come up with.

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Bubba was often forced to prove he ate all the schoolchildren before he was allowed to have desert.

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Right now, even Richard Simmons is screaming "GAY!"

(sorry, couldn't help it)

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Rob Reiner attempts to take home gold in the first ever Olympic belching competition...

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Running out of color ideas, Saban simply dubbed his newest hero the "Very...VERY...Confused" Ranger.

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Man in tie: "Hey look, it's Wendy!"
Adam: "Bleegghh!"

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Anna Nicole Smith had really let herself go.


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Shock began to dawn on Luciano's face as he began to realize that he'd come to the opera in only a terrycloth bathrobe.

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Ever protective over their copyright, the World Wildlife Fund sets the banner ablaze.

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Adam Bomb's loaded glove went undetected until the blundering Harvey
pointed it out to the referee.....


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Many hours were spent removing Vince's make-up before he went on
air.


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Akeem does his "Free Willy" feeding scene impersonation.....


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Many thanks to veterans like Aldo Montoya; the man who paved
the way for D-Lo Brown's chest protector.....

Also,for Fryza and Santo: that's Jimmy Hart in the Adrian picture,and
Harvey Wippleman (former WWF Women's Champion) in the Adam pic.

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You see, the most important part of Adam Bomb's gimmick was to show the effects of what consuming 5 packs of Cherry Fun-Dip can do to a person.

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Someone shouldn't of called in sick right when Vince lost a hand in a Poker game.



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With Slick absent and the sound system not working, Akeem did his best to please the crowd with his rendition of Jive Soul Bro.


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No wonder so many gimmicks flopped in the early 90's, all the attention was paid to the spectacualr pyros that shot out of radioactive symbols.

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Mark Henry's horrible secret is revelaed after he loses the first ever "Loser Takes a Bath" match.

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As much as I want to call him hardcore, biting your tongue isn't exactly a bump.

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It wasn't until he received his new gimmick that Ric Flair really started to regret turning his back on Triple H and their friendship.

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After eating Kurt Angle, Akeem proclaimed himself the new "Only Olympic Wrestler in WWE History."

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You knew the WWE was never serious about the Cruiserweights when they started using them as fuel for the fire.

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"My stank smell good"

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Next time on "Before They Were Hardcode" we'll take a look at Justin Credible.

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Hey, Harvey! Who ate my popsicle?

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JIMMY: I can't believe you thought it was a good idea to make a glory hole into Moolah's locker room...

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One Man Gang/Akeem debuts his new gimmick when he lets out a tribal shriek and becomes...White Kamala!

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The kids of the Shire always loved it when Aldo the Multi-Colored would come with his fireworks.

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-Adam Bomb decided that he will never EVER eat Sour Skittles again. EWWW!

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-After crossing Vince McMahon the wrong way, a de-push for Ric Flair was in order

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"I am a loser!"

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-Vince's plan for setting Justin on fire didn't pull through

What's scary is that thought crossed my mind after I posted my others.

Good one though.

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Now he got his new contract, he shows how much pushes he will get with this new contract.


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The father of Goldberg.

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After looking around, he saw he wasn't at the gayclub.

And now, the WCW "A" crap:

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The American Males

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The Guardian Angel

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Arachniman

*The site I'm using didn't have pics for David Arquette or Asya, but I want to use them, too.*

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This picture was taken from Steven Richard's most recent birthday card.


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Poor Bossman was demoted to a bus driver after suggesting to put more crusierweights on Smackdown.

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Kane thought his monster gimmick wasn't working so he thought he'd REALLY scare everybody by wearing purple spandex.

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Ladies and gentelmen, I give you the two newest members for the group on "Queer Eye For The Stright Guy."
Thom: But saying Fab 7 just doesn't have that ring.

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Even when he was fresh out of trucking school, it was clear that Rob Conway wanted to be French.

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Thank God that the writers scrapped the first idea for new attire for John Cena after he said "You can't see me!"

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No captions this time, but who are these guys? They look way too familiar. Is the one on the left Buff Bagwell?

Yeah, and his partner is Scotty Riggs, who was the guy Raven gave a drop toehold on the chair, requiring an eyepatch (real or fake, I don't know) for a long time. He also wrestled as Scotty Anton for a brief period in ECW.

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...and WCW's tendency to put D-list celebrities in their main event continued when Milli Vanilli upset the Road Warriors to capture the WCW World Tag Team Titles.

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VINCE (over walkie-talkie): Ray! Sean O'Haire has escaped. He may go somewhere else and be a big star. You know what to do!
RAY: Gotcha, Big Vincey. Lemme just...
Rrrrrrt. Thump.
VINCE: Good work.

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No, you're a pastel-colored, Spider-Man ripoff, curtain-jerking homo!

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It's a little-known fact that Corey Feldman teamed up with George Michael...

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Sir? I've got talent approaching the WWE headquarters. Copy that, I'll run him over...

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After another humiliating defeat at the hands of Spider-Man, the Shocker joins the ranks of WcW (Where he's promptly whooped by Rey Mysterio)...

:lol: thanks

My craptions sucked this time :wavesad:

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As if selling himself on eBay wasn't bad enough, Bagwell reached a new low by joining the Chippendale dancers.

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"...and on your left, you'll see where we keep Ultimo Dragon's credibility."

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Not only was Arachniman a great wrestler and superhero, but he was also a little teapot, short and stout.

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Most wrestling historians prefer to look over Ric Flair's "chubby" years.