New Year's Revolution Play-By-Play
 

NeoC bringing you his opinionated live play-by-play of the WWE's first PPV offering of 2007.

The Card:

WWE Champion John Cena vs Umaga
WWE World Tag Team Champions Rated RKO vs D-Generation X
CAGE MATCH: WWE Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy vs Johnny Nitro
Ric Flair vs Kenny 'My Name Was Chosen From A Hat' Dykstra
Carlito vs The Masterpiece Chris Masters
WWE Women's Champion Mickie James vs Victoria

We're kicking off with the Cage Match.

I'm thinking we're probably going to get at least another match added to the card, mind.

Cryme Tyme vs The World's Greatest Tag Team is rumoured.

Why do Cage Match rules vary so much in the WWE? Sometimes you can win by pinfall/submission, sometimes you can only win by escaping the cage. Where's the consistancy?

J.R. says that the Intercontinental title has only changed hands twice in a Cage match. That doesn't sound right to me. Can't be bothered researching it though.

I remember Rikishi took it from Val Venis in a cage at one time.

Come on Nitro!

Thanks for the Play by Play tonight Carl.

And the cage match is up first.:nono: We may be in for a rough night.

Tito Santana also defeated Greg Valentine for the I-C strap in a Cage Match. You know, I think ole J.R. was right, for a change.

This thread has been done within the past 10 years, 'cmon people!

:shifty:

But yeah, cool deal. :y:

Not ordering this.

What are the rules in this cage match?

The feud between Nitro and Hardy has disappointed me thus far. For two lightning quick and contemporary wrestlers, 90% of their matches have been slow and sluggish affairs.

Thus far, this Cage Match has been the same.

Are escapes allowed?

It's an increasingly-rare free show in the UK.

This is a pinfall/submission/escape cage match.

You can tell the crowd is gagging for some high-paced action, by the way they pop whenever Jeff Hardy ups the ante, only to have Nitro slow him down just seconds later.

The story of this match so far: Jeff plays the mouse, constantly trying to escape the cage. Nitro plays the cat, stopping his momentum as soon as possible.

Nitro hit a lovely sunset flip sitdown powerbomb from the top of the cage, with Jeff stood on the top rope. The only highlight of this match so far.

SWEET! :D

Nitro is hanging upside down from the top of the cage, his feet caught in the grid at the top of the cage. Melina nails Hardy's fingers through the chicken wire fence with her belt. The pace has slowed down AGAIN. Even Lawler has noticed how frequently Hardy and Nitro have been simultaneously laid out on the mat in this contest.

Calling it. Hardy will go for the swanton, crash and burn and Nitro will escape.

Calling it now, even though it goes against my Tipsters: Umaga's going over and taking the title.

Predicted this in a scenario like 6 months ago.

Ive found its only Raw-events that are shown free on SkySports, all the fucking Smackdown events are on proper PPV. Which is a royal bitch. Damn WWE.

Jeff with a nice looking Swanton from the top rope onto Nitro, but it literally came out of nowhere. Tries the pinfall attempt, but Nitro gets the foot on the rope.

Jeff with an Irish whip to the ropes and a back body drop.

Nitro scaling the cage looking for the escape, it seems as though he is selling a leg injury.

Nitro nearly escapes but Hardy pulls Nitro back in by the hair. Attempts a twist of fate from the top rope but Nitro swats him away.

Foot on the rope!!!???? WTF is that. It's a cage match!

Jeff looking to escape through the door, but Melina blocks the door. Nitro over the top of the cage, but crotches himself on the cage door when Hardy kicks it open.

Hardy escapes through the door, to retain the title.

I'm sure they used that exact spot in a Chris Jericho vs X-Pac Cage Match back in 1999/2000.

One of the few door escapes...

Hey, isn't Diesel Mac there?

Carl, tell us if you see someone in the crowd with a Bud Light.

Every time Diesel Mac is on-screen, take a drink of Bud Ice.

Man law?

Well.....

Match 1. WWE Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy defeated Johnny Nitro w/ Melina in a Cage Match to retain the gold.

Backstage interview with Rated RKO, the World tag team champions.

Edge talks about not just beating DX, but ending their run for good.

Orton mocks the beatings they gave Ric Flair, HBK and HHH. He says they don't beat these guys up out of dislike, they are fighting for their livelihood.

Edge says the DX reunion was fun while it lasted, sold a lot of t-shirts, but tonight it is over.

Next up, we have a bonus match... it's a Tag Team Turmoil match, where the winner will receive a title match in the future.

Starting out, we have The Highlanders vs The World's Greatest Tag Team.

Usual Tag Team Turmoil rules.... when a team is eliminated, another team enters until all teams have competed and we have one winning team.

A new look for The Highlanders tonight, with brown kilts and boots. J.R. says they are fighting in tribute to Rowdy Roddy Piper who is of course battling cancer. I don't fancy their chances being the first team in the match.

DAMMIT, almost predicted a Turmoil match.

Ouch. Off to a rough start in Tipsters.

TWGTT are sporting near-matching outfits today too. The crowd seem to have turned against the Highlanders. Rory is getting some boos.

This match is certainly a card-filler.

I forgot to make a prediction in the last match (for the record, I would have said Jeff). In this match, I call Cryme Tyme to win it (if they are in it, of course)

Benjamin with a lovely springboard superplex from the top rope to eliminate Robbie and the Highlanders are out.

The next team out are that noted tag team combination 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan and Super Crazy.

:wtf:

Wow, Super Crazy gets the biggest pop of the night so far. The crowd are chanting his name!

WTF!?

Writer: We need another team!
Vince: Just throw out anything... I don't know, a Mexican and a Redneck...