Kurt speaks. Funkometer breaks.
 

Here is a recap from Phil Evans of what Kurt Angle said today on Bubba the Love Sponge:

He put over Dixie Carter. She's paying him more than Vince ever did. She's a better businesswoman than Vince could ever dream of being (maybe because Vince isn't a woman?). He says that her backers could buy and sell Vince and that an NFL owner may be backing TNA soon. They are talking with Hogan and Jericho.

Kurt says TNA's ratings are now beating ECW and Smackdown.

Vince treats the guys who give him respect far worse than the guys who don't. A Dr. told Kurt that the blood vessels on Vince's nose (which he
covers with makeup) indicate that Vince has humungous high blood pressure and is a ticking timebomb for a heart attack.

Shane has done more businesswise for the WWE than Vince. Shane is in charge of the international marketing and has deals with China and Russia set up. Kurt said that he (Kurt) is actually responsible for the deal with China becuase when he was in Japan, China (I assume the country) gave Kurt its phone number and Kurt gave it to Shane who closed the deal. (Intersting that "China" has a phone number, must be some kind of red phone, hotline deal like Batman had). Kurt likes Shane alot and says Shane has a heart, unlike Vince.

HHH is a slimeball.

Adding Hogan, Big Show and Jericho will easily put TNA over WWE.

Can't understand why Test has been buried in WWE. Says that Test is a great worker. he compares Test to a young Kevin Nash (I assume he meant that as a positive thing).

Kurt said he has done more jobs than any top guy in the history of wrestling (Flair?) and is still over.

He concludes by plugging tonight's episode of TNA at 9:00 p.m. on Spike (nice product awareness).

And yes, the thread title is a Futurama reference.

They are talking with Jericho?????????????????????

Kurt, don't break my heart now.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Oh and didn't Angle say a couple of months ago that Triple H wasn't a cancer backstage?

Well then what makes him a slimeball now?

In what world is he living in?

Planet Jarrett

I'm guessing because Steph chose Trips over him.

It seems like Kurt is living in wrestling-is-real World. He speaks very much like that.

:lol:

Can't wait for Slammiversary 2008: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle for the <s>WWE</s> NWA Championship.

Pretty intent on burning bridges, ain't he.

IT'S REAL, IT'S DAMN REAL

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

WE'RE GONNA TAKE TNA! ROH! NWA! CHIKARA! CZW! NEW JAPAN! THEN WE'RE GONNA GO UP TO STAMFORD CONNECTICUT! AND TAKE BACK THE WWE! YEAAHHHHH!

THE WWE IS BURYING GENE SNITSKY, HE REMINDS ME OF A YOUNG PSYCHO SID.

YEEEAAAAAHHH!

THE WWE TRIED TO BURY MY GUMSHIELD, WHICH WAS LIKE A YOUNG JAWS FROM JAMES BOND, VINCE IS A SLIMEBALL

Here are some more side splitting quotes from Angle from the show.

"Says his King of the Ring match with Hogan (when he wore that wig) was a ***** match. "Stole the show""
"Has lots of respect for Hogan. "A businessman.""

"Called himself an agent, a writer, and a wrestler"

"If he brought in Wight, he'd not have him lose for 5 years."

Got to agree with Kurt on number 4, though, same with Kane in my book.

In all seriousness, he's just beginning to get into Ultimate Warrior territory with all these outrageous claims.

Next thing you know he's going to be talking about the Kurtnation and writing fucked up comic books about Vince McMahon being violated by Santa.

Kurt Angle: The only man actually TRYING to Outcrazy Warrior.

LOL KK, same idea.

"Says his King of the Ring match with Hogan (when he wore that wig) was a ***** match. "Stole the show""


This is a true statement.

<strike>IT'S</strike> DAMN TRUE

"Big Show was the hardest worker in WWE"
" Again stated TNA had a 1.5 last week and beat Smackdown (?)."

Wasn't Smackdown 1.9 last week?

WWE Legal: Please remove one of these words immediately as it infringes on a copyright held my WWE. This copyright is "IT'S DAMN TRUE". Thank you for your cooperation and we hope you comply. It's DAMN true.

:'(

WWE really needs to debut the Burt Angle spoof character

It's verified. Oh, it's damn verified.

At least he knows what a great worker Test is.
:shifty:

Pretty sure the VERY first match of the Pay Per View that night involving RVD and Jericho stole the F'N show!

:wtf:

Yeah that match was fantastic.

WAY better than RVD Jericho. The crowd was so f'n hot, and on top of it all Hagan tapped, I was marking out HUGE.

BYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH'd
 

Seriously though is Kurt on "the pot"?

See? I told you that Howard Dean would make a great promoter.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86...b__200x233.jpg

i know it's a sucky job but i can't be bothered to fix it...:lol:

OH ITS TRUE! Its damn true our olympic hero is losing his freaking mind.

Kurt just seems to be content with bitching about everything these days. SOUR GRAPES ANYONE

LOL this is from the main page. Same article just more info. Here is a small sample


- RVD admitted to Angle that he had no idea how to work and that he only hits highspots and points to himself and says "RVD".

Either one of two things:
1) RVD is high all the time
2) Angle is nuts.

Either way, I am :lol: about this.

^ LOL