TPWW Forums - Has anyone from TPWW disappeared lately?

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Has anyone from TPWW disappeared lately?

Because this sounds like it might have come straight off of our boards. Apparently WWE.com hired some "random guy" to write a "fan column" for the websited. This guy was apparently hired by Michael Cole. And it sounds like he's as pissed with the absurdity of the product as we all are... but he wraps it up in a bit of kayfabe for mass distribution. But THIS, in any case, is something I have been saying for years. Has anyone from the boards vanished lately? Cause if so, he's probably this guy.

Quote:

Then there’s the case of Viscera, who might be the most fascinating character in the history of WWE, if not human civilization. Hear me out. Viscera used to be known as Mabel. Like many WWE Superstars, he has had his ups and downs. He started as a friendly rapping giant in Men on a Mission. (“We’re Men on a Mission… the Quebecers we be dissin….” – Top THAT, Ludacris.) Then Mabel shocks everyone by winning King of the Ring, loses the rapping and becomes KING Mabel. (With his former tag partner Mo becoming… wait for it… Sir Mo.) Then for a while, nothing happens until…Undertaker while forming his Ministry of Darkness kidnaps and “sacrifices” Mabel. Sacrifices were pretty big back in ‘99 with Undertaker abducting various people, brainwashing them, changing their identities and turning them into his zombified disciples. That’s right, before there was Lost and The Others, there was Undertaker and Mabel.

So Mabel turns into Viscera – the demonic crazy-eyed, latex-wearing minion of Undertaker. The only problem is the Ministry of Darkness disbanded eight years ago and Mabel is STILL Viscera. Everyone else in the Ministry moved on, but NOBODY bothered to fix Viscera. Say what you will, but that’s fascinating. And I haven’t even gotten to the part where Viscera, after not talking for years, decides to become a “500-pound love machine” and starts a bizarre love/hate relationship with Lilian Garcia. The point is, does this man know of his former life? Do his parents still try to contact him? Siblings? What does Sir Mo think of all this? You mean to tell me if you gathered the nation's top psycho-therapists, Mo and Oscar from Men on a Mission, and various members of Mabel’s family, put them in a room for an intervention, set up a bunch of cameras and called it Deprogramming Viscera, America wouldn’t be sucked in? These are the things I think about.

So with that backstory in mind, here’s where things get weird – Viscera arrives to Raw with apparently one purpose – to eat a fat, juicy steak. Seriously, that’s it. He doesn’t have a match. No interview. He presumably flew to State College, Pa., checked out of his hotel, got into his rental car, and came to the arena with one goal in mind – eat dinner. And what happens? Right as he’s about to pour steak sauce over his meal, he lifts the tray to reveal his steak has been STOLEN. Stolen by what turns out to be two petty criminals looking to sell the steak to a worldwide television audience for Mother’s Day, of all things! If Viscera isn’t on the cover when People does their “Most Fascinating People” issue, then something is wrong.

Well he looks to smart to be CC so he's checked off...

LOL that was awesome

:rofl: The whole "coming to work to eat" is like why we see people in their costumes when they're not even on the card. Pretty lol.

They should have hired me.

The writing of that article leaves a lot to be desired. It's not bad, but it's not great. I love the subject matter, though. I too have found myself intrigued by the Viscera character. Back when he was rehired by the WWE with Gangrel, and he attacked The Undertaker, I really cared about his character. I wanted to know what both guys were thinking. We didn't get answers, though.

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Originally Posted by Kane Knight

They should have hired me.

They wanted someone good.

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Originally Posted by Alienoid06

They wanted someone good.

Odd, considering they hired someone more like you...

Couldn't find someone good? :lol:

You know, Alienoid as a booker, writer or whatever would be a bad idea. I mean we would be glued to the television watching brilliant replays of brilliant works and never get around to posting on here.

Sure we would...Once WWE Bankrupted.

It'd take about 3 weeks.

Yeah, but the thing is, those 3 weeks would make up for years of shit. Oh well, if he fires Cena and resigns im happy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kane Knight

Sure we would...Once WWE Bankrupted.

It'd take about 3 weeks.

You give me a lot of shit for my booking, but in Tipsters I predicted every outcome at Backlash correctly, sans Vince McMahon winning the ECW Title, but I doubt Vince not winning would have bankrupted the company.

I'd give a Val Venis, Paul London or Brian Kendrick a push over a Snitsky, Deuce and Domino, sure, but things wouldn't really change too dramatically. The good would be in the details.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kane Knight

Odd, considering they hired someone more like you...

Couldn't find someone good? :lol:

How do you know they are like me? Also can't you come up with an insult of your own instead of just using the same line against me? :roll:

:( I like Snitsky, Deuce and Domino.

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Originally Posted by The Critic

:( I like Snitsky, Deuce and Domino.

I like them too, they're just not my preferences.

Snitsky will always be great for the line: "I once killed his unborn fetus, but we're over that now." Deuce & Domino have got some great potential. I've heard conflicting reports about them in OVW, but I think Deuce Shade has got a better career ahead of him as a singles wrestler. I think Domino's calling is also elsewhere.

Well if there's one thing to be learned here, it’s that if you’re a fat-ass who can wrestle 3 minute matches for WWE, you should be considered fascinating. Oh, and also if Viscera doesn’t make the cover, rumor has it he’ll challenge Khali to a magazine eating contest, only to find out, right before pouring 200,000 bottles of A-1 onto the mags, they’ve all sold out because someone TRULY fascinating was on the cover...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alienoid06

How do you know they are like me? Also can't you come up with an insult of your own instead of just using the same line against me? :roll:

Look who you're talking to.