Orton
 

"Randy Orton is said to very upset regarding a recent Internet report originally reported in Dave Meltzer's Wrestling Observer Newsletter. It was reported two weeks ago that the severity of Orton's broken collarbone was worse than originally thought and that his return to the ring had been pushed back until October instead of August. According to Meltzer, October is the time frame the creative team is expecting him back. Well, Orton is saying that he should be back in the ring as early as the middle of August and that the pain in his collarbone is pretty much gone. Orton said he's been using a special machine that helps regenerate bone growth and thus speed up his recovery. The machine has an electromagnet that gives a direct pulse to the break of the bone."


SPECIAL MACHINE CALLED SARINGE WITH STEROIDS!

SPECIAL MACHINE CALLED SARINGE WITH STEROIDS!

LOL My thoughts to!!!!

Why would you even get mad about that? You could stay quiet and somewhat tool Meltzer by appearing in August.

Now if Orton doesn't come back until October he will look very not smart.

Yeah but now if he comes back before October everyone will assume it was due to a

On a somewhat related note: Randy Orton's new theme music is freakin' horrible

But yeh if Orton comes back early it's roids...I mean, err...special electromagnetic machine.

Seriously how the hell could electromagnetic energy spur new cell growth and promote the healing process?

*shrug* Electromagnets are said to be able to stimulate healing and regenerative ability. Not sure if it's fact of flim-flammery.

As an EMT I've never heard of it...but then again maybe thats why I deal with emergency pre-hospital care rather than the long-term healing process...

Scratch that, well technically I have heard of electromagnetic therapy as a treatment option for all kinds of shit but I've never really seen where it is proven effective for anything.

That's kind of what I thought, that it hasn't exactly cleared the bounds of quackery beyond a shadow of a doubt.

We will expect a fuller report from you once you've gone through another shift or two.

Would it have something to do with charging the cells in Orton's bone, making them move faster, and this increasing the healing process? Or would increase cell activity cause him to spontaneously combust. My science is a little rusty.

Also, Randy Orton's music, regardless of whether or not it is horrible, is not something he should be using. If you were an evil man, would you have a theme song that said "I am so evil, it is ridiculous how much of a cunt I am!" And no, don't bring up Rikishi's "Bad Man" theme. If Randy Orton hears voices in his head, his theme song shouldn't say "I hear voices in my head!" His music should probably talk about how great he is.

His whole gimmick is sort of out of whack, though. I was hoping the injury would straighten that out.

Flim Flammery.

Seriously, even the theory is bullshit. Well, I shouldn't say bullshit, but it falls into the realm of "specious thinking." Which is to say, it skips a few steps in order to reach an amiable conclusion.

It has made me wonder though, the same people who want to use electromagnets to heal you are the ones who say that the electromagnetic field generated by your cell phone is going to give you a brain tumor the size of a Volkswagen.
Yeah, I know how such things can be helpful or harmful depending on how you use them, (good radiation like how they find tumors and gave Spider-Man his powers vs the bad kind, the kidney-losing kind and all) but they seem unable to actually prove either with magnets. Doesn't seem to stop them from selling all kinds of idiocy to people though.

Additionally, I love any excuse to say flim-flammery.

he's genetics make him heal faster?

I loved his old music. Probably my favorite music entrance.

People often forget that cell phones have been around for nearing 30 years now, and we're yet to actually see a sizable increase in tumors.

Also, my favorite bit is they tell you your brain, protected by your skull, is at danger, and then tell you to wear a headset and place your phone near your unprotected BALLS.

But yeah, radiation can be dangerous, but people tend to not look at comparable power requirements and the like. Cell Phones actually don't have the power to penetrate skin. If they did, your babymakers would be a worse place than your head, because the antenna's aimed at your skull. There's a reason they make you wear lead aprons to cover your crotch and chest, but not your skull.

Electromagnetic fields, similarly, can be either beneficial or harmful. Of course, the magnets they use in magnet therapy aren't strong enough to have any real reaction in the fashion they promise.

So yeah, Shenanigans. The real question is whether they know it's a crock or if they actually believe it.

For example, Columbus knew the world was "round," Because most people did. But he did his own math, math which demonstrated that the world was about half the size the Greeks had claimed it to be, and so was convinced he could sail around the world feasibly. He was also a con artist, which is how he finally persuaded finance, but he believed he could circumnavigate the Globe based on shitty math that pretty much anyone else knew was incorrect.

(Insert 9-11 joke here)

Third Gen superstars heal faster. Even if their parents suck.

Next time i'm in the hospital i'm going to ask a doctor about it.

My initial theory on this is that it is 99% mental recovery and maybe a whole 1% of physical recovery. If you think some huge contraption blasting you with electromagnetism is healing your injury, then you feel better faster regardless of how much its actually doing for you.

I'd hit a library, or even look for studies on the web. In my case, I'd prefer the library.

That type of therapy has yet to be accepted as legit, but alot more people are doing "new Age" type shit like it.

I think they sell it as there not being proof it doesnt work, rather than there being proof it does.

It's obviously a form of passive-action population control.

CONSPIRACY!

*runs off to have his scrotum coated in lead*

Wow...an underlining part of this story no one has mentioned so far:

A WRESTLER HAS BITCHED OUT DAVE MELTZER FOR A FALSEHOOD!!

THAT deserves its own story entirely.

I don't mind Orton's new music. It fits his character better than his old one (his old one seems to be fit for someone that is a face....if that makes sense). Having said that, Orton's "old" music ranks as one of my favourite themes of all-time.

No, they really do sell this stuff on the science and its effectiveness.

Lets all pretend to be doctors that have Orton as a patient.

You're right, that would be foolish. Kind of like assuming that a doctor might have access to some miracle machine that regenerates bone that has somehow neither been applied for patent, approved by his peers, or reported.

Of course, nobody would be foolish enough to assume something like that, which is why it's safe to assume that no matter who Orton's doctor is, the notion is bullshit.

The sad fact is that Orton probably believes it... so technically he wasn't lying.

Ok here is some word from an ER Doc I talked to about it...he's said electromagnetic therapy is most often used as an alternative for cancer patients who aren't responding well to more conventional treatments. Rarely to doctors ever actually order this kind of treatment, it's usually used by people who practice alternative medicine. People claim to have seen results in the form of cell regeneration from this kind of treatments, however, they have almost been undergoing it in conjunction with more traditional treatment and electromagnetic therapy by itself as no evidence to support it actually does promote cell growth.

That's more or less a quote on what he said. I responded very frankly with, "So its bullshit?" and he kinda was like, "Well....perhaps."

So, we're talking about "it really doesn't seem to hurt, so we use it when other options aren't working, but it may be a placebo effect?"

So...Orton got his DNA changed so he's Wolverine now?

Yeh its like when nothing else has worked, we might as well try it cause it sure as hell isn't going to get any worse.

In less-severe situations (like Ortons broken bone as opposed to say, stomach cancer) I could see a placebo effect for sure.

Orton: So whats this thing supposed to do?

Doctor: It uses electromagnetic pulses to stimulate new cell growth and heal your fracture faster.

Orton: Man, I'm feeling better already!

:rofl:

Yeh thats much more accurate

Nah. I doubt he believes it at all.

LOL. So basically the stuff anyone could have told you.

Yeh he basically said he had never used it for anything but he had heard of it being used with mixed results, but there was no proof the electromagnetic therapy was actually behind the positive results. I had kinda figured that anyway.

Meltzer better watch out Orton doesn't shit in his bag if he really is pissed.