The Alliance to End Hulkamania
 

I know some of you weren't watching wrestling in 1996 and those of you that were have probably repressed this, but I couldn't help revisiting how great it was. Let's paint a picture:

1996 will forever be known as one of the most important years in wrestling history because in July of that year, the nWo was born. Everyone who has ever watched wrestling knows that moment when Hulk Hogan turned heel at Bash at the Beach. The decision to have Hogan turn heel was the result of the Hulkster's declining popularity among WCW fans. What you're about to watch is the reason why.

In the beginning of 1996, the red and yellow was still in full effect, headlining every WCW PPV. The fans cheered as Hogan vanquished foe after foe regardless of how much the odds were stacked against him. Well finally those foes said "fuck this," and decided to join forces. The Alliance to End Hulkamania was founded.

*Quick note: the Alliance to End Hulkamania was originally called the Final Solution. However, after numerous angry letters and phone calls from the Jewish community, the name was changed. You see, the Final Solution also happened to be the name of Hitler's plan to exterminate all the Jews in Europe. Now why would anyone get offended by that?

The Alliance consisted of the principle members of the Four Horseman and the Dungeon of Doom, and also Lex Luger for some reason. These men decided that by working together, they could finally get rid of Hulk Hogan.

To do this, they challenged Hogan for Uncensored 96 to go through the gauntlet in the dreaded, horrifying, unspeakably evil TOWER OF DOOM. The TOWER OF DOOM consisted of three cages stacked on top of each other (sound familiar?), with members of each faction placed in respective levels. In order to win, Hogan would have to pin someone in each cage and then advance to the next level. Should he lose at any level, the match was over. Surely these were insurmountable odds, right? Right? WRONG. You see, Hulk Hogan had a buddy named Randy Savage, and he wanted in on the action. The Mega Powers were back, baby!

Now I know some of you are probably saying, "Hey dickhead, you said each faction will take up a level of a cage! There's three levels but only two factions! Fuck you!" Well shithead if you'll kindly shut your fucking trap, I'll explain it. You see, it's true that Horsemen and the Dungeon will each take up a level, but the third level would be occupied by something special. Or should I say somethingS special. No, I probably shouldn't. Should Hogan and Savage survive to that point (and what are the odds they will, right?) then they must face the two behemoths that await: The Ultimate Solution (take that, Jews!) and Z-Gangsta (aka Zeus, still not over that loss in No Holds Barred).

The following is that TOWER OF DOOM match, the main event for Uncensored 96. Be sure to keep an eye out for Lex Luger's epic botch.


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Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage vs Alliance to End Hulkamania (1)
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Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage vs Alliance to End Hulkamania (2)
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After this match, Hogan popped up maybe once or twice but other than that was not seen again until Bash at the Beach and we all know what happened there. This match, in fact, ended Hulkamania. They did it!

You can tell that Arn and Flair are scared shitless about falling through the cage. I would be too.

Nothing has, nor ever will, end Hulkamania.

Brother.

They sure did.

Schiavone and Rhodes try to cover it up immediately, but it takes Heenan a couple minutes to figure out what's going on.

I honestly wish there was a box set of the Nitro's. I'd buy that for sure.

Lol, I remember watching that.

I noticed that, and figured those two were thinking "Heenan, stfu!" Did he not know it was a botch, or did he figure there was no point in lying about it?

I bet management was pissed.

You can really tell watching these matches and listening to the commentary how much Heenan and Schivonie didn't like each other in real life.

Uncensored 96 was easily one of the worst PPVs Ive ever seen.

Weird fucking match. Keep in mind that, at the time, Luger was one half of the tag champs with Sting (a face) and that Sting had teamed up with Booker T to take on the Road Warriors at this PPV in a Chicago Street Fight earlier in the night (Stevie Ray had been 'injured' or something). Plus, Flair was actually the fucking WCW champion during this. And he would go on to lose it the very next night on Nitro to the Giant.

Try wrapping your head around this booking.

Wow memories. I had forgotten all about Tower of Doom.

I watched the first video and if the second is anyting like the first, that's the worst match ever.

I would compare that "match" to an abortion, but I'm pro choice. I really don't need that supporting my argument.

Didn't watch wcw till the nwo arrived. The Hulkster is invincible.

I wonder if after the match in the locker room they patted eachother's backs, going "Woo, we did a hell of a job out there, guys, high-five!".

I try to imagine so, cause it eases the pain of watching this torture of a match.

I remembre watching WCW saterday night prior to this (the day or 8 days before the event) they showed a cartoon of what it would look like, It was actualy three rings stacked on eachother... as a child I thought this would be amazing... even at my age I thought it was corny when I saw it...

This is like some kid playing with action figures. Why is it so dark?

Ok, I won't watch the second video but I will ask, was there a single wrestling move or painful looking punch or anything somewhat realistic?

There's a great spot where the Bootyman runs out and gives Hogan and Savage these really fake looking frying pans and they start whacking everybody with them.

The end of the match was even fucked. Hogan goes for the door to escape, Savage follows, but then turns around and dives onto Flair for the pin.....the ONLY pinfall in a match where Hogan and Savage supposedly had to pin their opponents to move into the next level.

Amazingly enough, this isn't the only Tower of Doom match in WCW history. They did it all the way back in 1988. And Kevin Sullivan was in that one too.

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Actually, The group was never called The Final Solution. The guy referred to as The Ultimate Solution was first introduced with the "Final" bit, and obviously changed by the next time he was mentioned. Also, he was Jeep Swenson, the guy who played Bane in Batman Forever.

Some of you scholars may be saying to yourself, "Hey, wasn't Paul Wight in the Dungeon of Doom? Hadn't he been feuding with Hogan for months? Why didn't they just use him instead of those talentless scrubs they dug up?" While that would make more than enough sense, it was impossible. For you see, Mr. Wight was already involved in his own epic 5 star encounter, with the man known as Loch Ness:

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That was a NUMBER ONE CONTENDER match. The winner of that match earned a shot at the World Championship the next night, and as redoneja alluded to, the Giant beat Flair for the title. UNBELIEVABLE

wouldn't be the only guy WCW did this with....

Was really rooting for Loch Ness, tbh. Was hoping he would dethrone Flair for the title.

Didn't Deeboe make a cameo in this?

Loch Ness was Giant Haysacks, huge in the UK

Afterlife, Loch Ness was a British wrestler known as Giant Heystacks or Heystacks Calhoun or something like that. There is a clip of him bodyslamming a talk show host that's really quite endearing. He carried himself well for a 700 lb man.

I'd say he was pretty huge everywhere.

Say all you want about HHH and Cena squashes, but they never buried 2 Hall of Famers (one of whom is arguably the best all time), a multiple time World Champion, and around 10 other guys all at once.

Lol at Luger, I have seen much worse botches though