The Plot to Destroy Jeff Hardy
 

August 28th, 2009

Vince McMahon: "Now Jeff, before you go out there for your "Loser Leaves Town" steel cage match with CM Punk, I want to give you one more offer to stay with the company."

Jeff Hardy: "I'm not staying. I have a shitty band that desperately needs my star power. I also need to promote an even shittier reality TV show."

Vince: "No house shows, no overseas tours. Just Smackdown! tapings and Pay Per Views. Nobody else gets this offer."

Jeff: "Sorry, but my mind is made up."

Vince: "You're breaking my balls, Jeff. You're sure?"

Jeff: "Yes. I'm sure." ::Music cues, Hardy turns and heads out the curtain::

Vince storms back to his office set, mumbling icily under his breath the whole way. "You don't say no to me, NOBODY says no to me, you can't QUIT, you're FIRED...."


September 9th

Vince stands in a shady alley, somewhere in Massachusetts. A full moon hangs in the night sky. Shuffling footsteps can be heard; after a few moments, a trio of dark robed figures appear from around the corner, hoods drawn over their faces.

Vince: "Is it done?"

???: "Yes, my Lord. We have planted the evidence exactly as you specified."

Vince: "And Chris Masters?"

???: "His wealth of drugs is so vast that he will not even notice the dent, sire."

Vince: "Good. Gooooooooood. Now, tomorrow morning, I want you to deliver the package."

???: "It will be done."

Vince: "Oh, and before you go, one more thing."

???: "Yes?"

Vince: "I want all of you to get on your knees and KISS MY ASS."


September 10th

The front door of the Moore County Sheriff's office burst's open, and a police officer rushes in with a document in his hand. He is perspiring heavily.

Cop: "Sir, you need to see this. I found it in an envelope on my front porch this morning."

Sheriff: "Well, hand it here."

They clear off a desk and unroll the envelope's contents, a large sheet of paper. On the sheet is a printed map of rural Moore County. An arrow points to a secluded residence, and next to the arrow is a picture of a man with rainbow hair and some retarded neck tattoos. Off to the side, in the top right hand corner written in large capital letters, is the word "DRUGS".

Sheriff: "Bulls-eye."

Don't say its not possible.

...........you're retarded.

I heard Mysterio was one of the dark robed figures but kept some of the evidence for himself

Its not possible.

There i said it.

So... how about that weather we've been having hey?

Chris Masters rulez.

Gonna echo CSLi Manning's statement here.

I got to the third improperly used "your" and gave up.

Take some grammar lessons.

I'm pretty sure this is exactly what happened.

:wtf: with this thread

There were some errors but this is the internet, Grammar and punctuation mean nothing here. I found it quite funny and as far as the dialogue went it was well written. I spent a long time working on the dialogue in my writing trying to make it sound believeable and think you have a natural gift for it.
Might be worth reading up on English though.

Unlike everyone else, I found it funny at least.

lol sorry for not perfect grammar

gonna echo Blitz's statement here

There's a difference between typical internet posts and a work like a story that is supposed to be at least partially polished.

I read it. Didn't like. Sorry.

ROFL.... I liked it.... kinda funny

Probably a step-up from not funny Xero, but a step below funny Xero.

gonna echo from the chuck palhiniuk book RANT here

So the basic point of that story is Vince is evil?