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Okay, the “Will You Be My Friend” thing has already been taken, and someone already made a Brock Lesnar joke… where can I go from here…
*We see Heidenreich sitting in the back seat of a cab with a pistol in hand, loading it. A voice from the front says, “We’re here!” Heidenreich takes a moment to say a quick prayer, and he puts the pistol in a holster on his belt. He grabs a 12 gauge shot gun from the seat, and kicks the door wide open!*
There were lovely patches of greensward all about, with stately trees bearing rich and luscious fruits. Banks of gorgeous flowers were on every hand, and birds with rare and brilliant plumage sang and fluttered in the trees and bushes. A little way off was a small brook, rushing and sparkling along between green banks, and murmuring in a voice very grateful to a little girl big dude who had lived so long on the dry, gray prairies.
While she stood looking eagerly at the strange and beautiful sights, she noticed coming toward her a group of the queerest people she had ever seen. They were not as big as the grown folk she had always been used to; but neither were they very small. In fact, they seemed about as tall as Dorothy Max Mini, who was a well-grown child Mexican midget wrestler for her his age, although they were, so far as looks go, many years older.
Three were men and one a woman, and all were oddly dressed. They wore round hats that rose to a small point a foot above their heads, with little bells around the brims that tinkled sweetly as they moved. The hats of the men were blue; the little woman's hat was white, and she wore a white gown that hung in pleats from her shoulders. Over it were sprinkled little stars that glistened in the sun like diamonds. The men were dressed in blue, of the same shade as their hats, and wore well-polished boots with a deep roll of blue at the tops. The men, Dorothy Heidenreich thought, were about as old as Uncle Henry, for two of them had beards. But the little woman was doubtless much older. Her face was covered with wrinkles, her hair was nearly white, and she walked rather stiffly.
When these people drew near the house where Dorothy was standing in the doorway front of the cab, they paused and whispered among themselves, as if afraid to come farther. But the little old woman walked up to Dorothy, made a low bow and said, in a sweet voice…*
Munchkin: You are welcome, most noble Sorceress hoss, to the land of the Munchkins. We are so grateful to you for having killed the Wicked Witch of the East, and for setting our people free from bondage.
Heidenreich: This is the last time I let Lita drive…
If you don’t know where this came from, go to your public library, or go fuck yourself
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