|
I've been in a few wrestling-type situations.
My friend Josh was about 300+ pounds, not shittin' ya. This kid was fat. This kid was real fat. One time at school, I heard him screaming something behind me. I turned around, and the first thing I see is him charging straight at me, head lowered and arms out. This was at a point when Goldberg was a prominent character--can't remember how long ago it was, if it was WCW or WWE Goldberg--but I knew exactly what Josh was doing. That fat fuck was gonna spear my ass. My first instinct was to just get the fuck out of the way, but I was on a narrow walk in front of the JROTC building. Getting out of the way would mean literally diving into some bushes (either that, or learning how to walk through walls). My second instinct was to lift my foot and boot that Twinkie stealing mother fucker right in the face.
And I did.
And he derailed, like some kind of greasy pudding train. He literally rolled sideways through the air, and fell straight on his big ass. My stoner friend Jake (note that I myself do not condole the use of drugs, I just hung out with a stoner at the time) almost never stopped laughing.
I also had a kid Brainbuster / Impale DDT me in the middle of a spar in a martial arts class. We were grappling, and I was expecting the usual rolling about and shit. Nah, this big turd lifted me into the air and nearly smashed my head on the floor. Luckily, I tucked my head in before impact...so I was disoriented as hell, but nothing injured.
|