As if the Bashams weren't heel enough, Danny had to stop mid-match and ram his finger into poor Jimmy Corderas' nose!
Rikishi & Scotty: "Pixie... twins... acti--"
Danny: "OH NO! Not that joke again!"
Little did Rikishi know that Gollum was ready to strike and reclaim his precious!
The ref quickly sprays Rikishi with Tag Team Title brand deodorant to prevent the whole crowd from passing out.
Rikishi: "Um... Scotty. We should stop now, or those evil smarks are going to start making HGA jokes again."
Scotty: "Can't!! Damn that Rhyno!!"
Scotty: "I'm so happy!!! This is like a dream come true!" *looks down* "Shit, no pants? This IS a dream!!!" *sob*
Cena stared, frozen in shock, as the youthful, seductive Dawn Marie slowly transformed into the wrinkled, withery Mae Young before his very eyes.
Heyman: "No, Dawn Marie turning into Mae Young is NOT a trick by Triple H to humiliate over-popular wrestlers into retiring forever!!!"
As he slow danced with Big Show and remembered last week's near proposal from Eddie, Billy Gunn couldn't help but think the WWE was running out of gimmicks for his character.
Big Show: "Swing me Billy!"
Gunn: "Um... Show? I didn't know you had the Dr. Jho operation too..."
See old Loopydate caption for reference
When the Big Show wouldn't listen to Nick Patrick please to break the hold, Nick had to resort to more desperate measures, like drawing out his over-the-shoulder samurai blade.
To further solidify his heel status, Big Show choked Billy Gunn while the Giant Sky Wrench repeated clocked him in the back of the head.
".................. UH, OH!"
Lesnar: "Lemme get this straight... drinking three glasses of tequila before you come out helps you cut crazy promos?? Sweet!"
(after Brock downs a bottle of tequila)
Brock: "Eddie... just shaddup and KISS ME!"
Once he was drunk, Brock underwent some drastic changes.
By the end of the drunken stage, Brock had shrivelled down to the size of a small, stumbling cruiserweight.
OR
Noble: "No, that's still not how you bend it like Beckham."
The Velocity wrestlers showed up for the monthly "Get your shoes stolen by a SmackDOWN! wrestler" part of the program.
The submission move was bad enough, but did Noble really have to let his backwater roots get the best of him and start rubbing his crotch against Kidman's thigh?
Suddenly, Nidia realized it. He CAN see me!
Eh... that was bad. How about another?
Nidia wasted no time whipping out Noble's wallet to buy that cute human-sized turtle standing in the crowd.
Rue demonstrates the amazing before and after effects of Playboy airbrushing.
Ever the gentleman, Rey Rey waited patiently on the other side of the ring while Chavo Jr. helped his dad put his contacts back on.
It was an ingenious contraption. Pulling the trigger released the referee Charles Robinson snap arm, which struck against the Rey Mysterio light, thereby setting off the Chavo Guerrero Fart Cannon.
Chavo, having never attended the Isaac Yankem School of Dentistry, had an awfully hard time with Mysterio's mouth.
Angle couldn't help himself but rub Steven Richards' pecs during the middle of the match.
Angle and Holly might be professional wrestlers, but obviously, neither man completely grasped the concept of arm wrestling.
Angle: "Put me down!!! Someone's going to think you're actually carrying me in this match!!!"
Angle kindly took the time to enlightened ignorant Bob on what the "Stephanie Position" was.
Hebner (reading Bob's new shoulder tattoo): "'I am a worthless bitter old bigot whose ass can get owned by any man near or over my size.' Aha! So he admits!!!"
Luckily, Heyman intervened before Big Show could eat Kurt Angle.
Even while he was cutting a promo, Cena always had time to teach Goldberg, who was sitting to the side off screen, a new word with his new letter knuckles.
Heyman had officially lost his mind when he suddenly turned, pointed, and called the Frost Giant a homo.