"I may be bald, but at least fans don't laugh at my pimply white ass..."
Shawn: You're a ho...
Vince: Jesus Christ, Shawn, your religion is killing the caption!
Shawn's pappy was even worse than Shelton's Mama.
Satan: You will now eat Shawn's Heart
Vince: Yes, master.
In hyping the Royal Rumble, they used a Roman theme. For Wrestlemania, WWE goes Macbeth!
Shane: Uhoh...I think
Vince: We broke our last main eventer.
Shane: Six more months of Cena?
Vince: Got any better ideas?
"Hey, when you hit someone in the head, they
do act like Eugene!"
Vince: This is the shit we put on the air?
Shane: Just smile and pretend you like it. We don't want the fans thinking even we don't like Cena.
The cure for Snitsky's Acne left him with a chronic wasting disease.
RVD's form was perfect until he hit his head on the glass ceiling.
"Give me a W!"
"BAM! BAM! BAMBAM!"
Triple H looked haggard, but he was merely preparing for his role in "Brokeback Mountain-The Musical."
Chavo: Soylient Green is people!
Triple H: Spoilers, dick!
Chavo demonstrates tactile telekinesis.
...However, his Kryptonite was soon discovered: Stephanie's vaginal fluids.
"Hurry up and kiss him, ref, he's starting to get free!"
"My sacrifiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice..."
"Creed? Das not cool!"
Big Show: Wow, I must've hit you hard!
Carlito: Nah. My hair's naturally like that.
Attempting to cure himself of his super-powers, Kane instead augments them, becoming more like the spider that bit him.
"You're sure this is going to cure my stretchmarks?"
Kane and Big Show tell Chris there's no Santa.
Vince tests out his new "Electric" title belts.
"Okay, you can hold him on the ropes. Just...Don't...Touch me..."
Mama Benjamin: I had a dream my acting career resulted in a bad gimmick on a live cable "sporting" event...
Goldust: Tell me about it.
Mama: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mama: How did you talk me into this?
Goldust: Don't talk while he's shooting!
Two of these belloons are not like the others...
Randy Orton comes out without his makeup on.
Micke was all for boosting ratings with "Live Sex 2," Until Viscera's music hit.
"I don't think the strap-on's supposed to go there, King."
..."King? Why is my monitor all sticky?"
And they say wrestling is gay...
Cena: *Sniff sniff* You've been with Lita
again?
"Who'd think I'd be the one carrying someone in the main even scene, huh Edge?"
"Shut up and get this over with."
WWE's first boy band couldn't get the steps right.
New from WWE.com: The Life-sized Edge doll! Complete with Edge's personality!
Ref: Who's the President?
Edge: John Cena.
Ref: Concussion!
"What do you mean, 15 minutes?"
Warning: The WWE is not liable for any diseases contracted from looking at this picture.
John Cena never backs down from a fight. Here, he accepts Wrestlemania's challenge, and puts his title on the line, for the first time defending it against an entire PPV.