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I should write for this show.
JACK: The following takes place between 8:00 AM and 9:00 AM on Christmas day.
*Jack and Kim are opening presents. Kim starts to unwrap a big one, Jack whips out his gun*
JACK: No. You open the little ones first.
KIM: But, Dad...
JACK: Not NOW, Kim. You have to open the little boxes before the big one or the big one doesn't make any sense.
KIM: Dad, put away the gu--
JACK: DAMMIT, Kim! I don't have time for this! Open the little boxes now!
*The phone rings*
JACK: Bauer.
KIM: Dad, it's your home nu--
JACK: KIM!
TONY: Jack, it's me.
JACK: What is it Tony?
TONY: Somebody hijacked Santa's sleigh. They're threatening to use it to haul WMDs out of Siberia.
JACK: Tony, it's Christmas morning. I'm opening presents with Kim...
TONY: Jack, you know Santa better than anyone. You were undercover as an elf for three years.
JACK: Any idea who's behind this?
TONY: Yeah.
JACK: Who?
TONY: Nina Myers.
*Dramatic music*
KIM: It's Nina Myers, isn't it?
*Blam!*
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