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Old 04-18-2006, 01:37 AM   #2022
Blitz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blitz, in a thread called "Am I The Only One Who's Reading This Dyslexically
The scene is Backlash. Early in the night, a pretape airs showing Vince McMahon being assaulted by several figures dressed in black. Later, JR announces that it will now be a one on one match between Shane and HBK (because no one expects God to show up right?)

Anyways, fast forward to the match. HBK and Shane hit the ring and are ready to fight when suddenly, Joan Osborne's "One Of Us" hits...

JR-"BAHGAWD, IT'S GAWD!!!"

As your standard God figure (White robe, white hair, white beard) makes his way to the ring, Shane jumps Shawn (distracted, of course by the Lord and Saviour making an actual apperance). As Shane works over Shawn, God waits anxiously on the apron until HBK turns the tide, and then makes the hot tag to the Man Upstairs. As Shawn collapses in the corner, the Lord has Shane dead to rights when suddenly...GOD TURNS AROUND AND HITS THE BRONCO BUSTER ON SHAWN!!! God and Shane beat down Michaels for a bit, but HBK makes a comeback, and manages to toss Shane and the False Idol to the outside.

Just when Shawn thinks he's safe, though, Motorhead hits, and out comes Triple H, wearing a crown of thorns and carrying, instead of his usual sledge hammer, a giant wooden cross! Shawn motions for him to bring it on, and Hunter smirks and gestures to the back...12 figures in hooded white robes emerge, and follow the King of Kings to the ring, where they overpower and destroy Michaels.

JR-"BAHGAWD, THE 12 APOSTLES AND JESUS CHRIST ARE WHIPPIN' HBK LIKE A GUVERMENT MULE!!!!!11"

With Michaels finally down for the count. God gets up off the floor and grabs a mic. As the Apostles restrain Michaels, they remove their hoods to reveal the Spirit Squad, Chris Masters, Danny Basham, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Val Venis, Snitsky, and Shelton Benjamin , God leans over, and starts tearing at his beard and hair, finally revealing....VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON!!

Vince-"IT WAS ME, MICHAELS!!!! WHERE'S YOUR MESSIAH NOW?!?!"

Just as the Corporate Church is about to deliver the final blow, the arena goes dark, and music begins to play...It's "Antichrist Superstar" by Marilyn Manson...

At the top of the ramp, bathed in hellish red lights and accompanied by the Sinister Minister, it's THE DEVIL HIMSELF! Lucifer runs to the ring and begins taking out Apostles (naturally, using a ton of banned moves such as a double underhook piledriver and a vertebraker). HBK gets his wind back and joins the fight. The ring is cleared, and all that's left is Michaels and the Archfiend. They stare each other down as the show ends...

JR-"BAHGAWD, HBK HAS JUST ALLIED WITH SATAN HIMSELF AND TAKEN OUT GOD!!!! WHAT WILL COME OF THIS?? TUNE IN TO RAW TOMORROW!!! BBQSAUCESTUNNER!!!"
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