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**NeanderCarl** · 06-01-2006, 09:40 PM

August

In complete Hard Lines results:

*The donMuraco, complete with mafia godfather gimmick, defeated D'Lo Brown with a donBomb;
* Animal Parkinson and Mongo Mike Hawk defeated The Two Fat Retards, when the Retards 'goofed out' and ran into the crowd. More sick fun with the WWF;
* The Mixer pinned both The Big Time Drinkers but succumbed to a double pin from The Godfather and Layabout Layfield. Godfather, who was sober, then revealed that he'd never been a drunk, he only teamed up with Alcoholics Eponymous to gain revenge on The Mixer and get his mansion back, and that he'd always hated Layfield's guts. He then grabbed the keys. The ref informed him, however, that Layfield also made the cover, simultaneously, and that the two both won the mansion, and would have to share it. Those guys living together? Cue the hilarious vignettes on Impact, surely? Another masterstroke in this impressive feud from the WWF;
* Droz defeated Triple H for the vacant Hardcore Title when the fight spilled into a helicopter and eventually to the CN Tower in Toronto, where Droz back bodydropped Triple H through the glass floor to the ground;
* Cancer defeated The Undertaker and Mark Henry with a Tumour on the Taker when Mark Henry screwed up again. Taker then tombstoned Henry and hung him from the roof of the arena;
* The Eliminator pinned Christian Cage in what appears to be the first match in Eliminator's main event status push;
* in the extremely heated main event, The Movement were on the verge of a loss to Team 3:16, when The Leader arrived. Stone Cold Steve Austin was distracted, ripping off the hood, to reveal The Brooklyn Brawler. The real Leader then appeared at the entrance way, and as Austin approached him, The Mailman hit 'The Knock' on the steel ramp, and pinned Austin. Al Snow and Paul Wight chased the Leader, but were mauled by The Rock and Michael Cole. The show went off air with three unconscious fan favourites laying in a heap in the ring, and an incensed crowd. What a result for the WWF.

All the Impact highlights:

July 26th:

The Godfather was shown entering his mansion in a new limo. Layfield then entered from the other wing. Cue a glare between the two.... Debutant Mr. Nice Guy defeated D'Lo Brown, on a major losing streak, with 'The Crowd Pleaser'.... The Gourmet Chef defeated Christian Cage..... As Layfield filled the mansion's swimming pool, Godfather turned the water to boiling hot.... Former King Of The Ring Mr. Ass made his return, beating Val Venis when Hardcore Holly slammed Venis' head into the back of a television at ringside and poured water all over it... Layfield dived headfirst into the piping hot swimming pool.... Steve Austin absolutely belted The Brooklyn Brawler. Then he, and rescuer Paul Wight, were attacker by the Movement and The Leader, who was brandishing a huge fish hook. As Mailman and The Rock held Wight and Austin down the Leader slashed the wicked heels with the hook, and unmasked to reveal Al Snow. The real Leader then appeared on the Titan Tron and, with his trademark disguised voice, announced that Austin was a "thorn in everyone's side" and that he created The Movement to rid the WWF of Austin for everybody's benefit. He announced that he would reveal himself at SummerSlam if Austin could beat The Mailman, but should Austin fail, then he'd have to resort to a "lowly" job, such as ring announcer or referee..... Layfield was loaded into an ambulance and taken to a burns unit... Jeff Jarrett, in his Impact debut, lost to The Naysayer when he began a striptease and was disqualified (Jarrett's new gimmick)..... Cancer defeated Michael Cole and The Rock in the main event when the 'Big Show' Paul Wight Showstoppered Cole onto an ominous bed of nails at ringside.

August 2nd:

As Mr. Ass battled Don Muraco, Road Dogg made his re-emergence, asking Ass Man to reform The New Age Outlaws. Ass said he didn't think Dogg could go all the way anymore, but that if he could prove himself one-on-one he'd accept.... Big Bossman asked for a personal striptease performance from 'Playboy' Jeff Jarrett in the locker room. As he watched, Jarrett's skin split open and out stepped Black Crow. It was revealed that the real 'Playboy' had been attacked, tied up and used for a mould for a rubber skin which Crow then disguised himself in.... A minute's silence was held on the stage for Chris Jericho who "died earlier in the day". As Brian Christopher bowed his head, a masked man attacked him with a scythe. The mask was removed to reveal 'Eye Candy' himself, Chris Jericho..... Al Snow was shown distraught in the car park. It was revealed that his camper van had been crushed and compacted. The Leader claimed responsibility.... Cancer bragged that there was no team in the WWF capable of taking the Tag Team Titles from them, and that no team could scare them. Scott Taylor then dissed the former New Age Outlaws, telling them "not to bother" reforming as they weren't "up to the task" either... In a Hardcore match, Droz retained the HC title over The Mixer, who was so humiliated by the Alcoholics that his career is, at present, virtually dead. During the match, the action spilled into the canteen where Beaver Cleavage was shown stealing from the till. Droz began tutting, and received a till shot to the jaw for his disapproval, setting up a future feud between the two... Al Snow attacked The Rock, as The Rock made jokes about Al's affection for the camper van. President McMahon then agreed to Al's request for a match with The Rock, but was disqualified for smashing Rocky, then the ref, with a chair... In the main event, Stone Cold and Paul Wight went to a no result with Michael Cole and The Mailman when Al Snow drove a JCB into the Arena and attempted to run over The Movement, killing a ringside fan in the process. Snow, Austin and Wight then united and promised the Leader that, at SummerSlam, he would be revealed and demolished.

August 9th:

Mr. Ass battled to a draw with Road Dogg, then shook hands. The duo were attacked by Cancer... Droz informed Beaver Cleavage that he did not agree with theft. As the HC champ was being interviewed, Cleavage was seen rummaging through Droz's baggage, pocketing a wallet, a watch and a laptop PC among other objects...When Droz returned to find he'd been robbed, he "went hardcore" on a tree in the car park, and was next seen in a sling.... In a 'newcomers Battle Royal', Mr. Nice Guy, The Gourmet Chef, The Naysayer, The Playboy, The donMuraco and debutant The Surprise formed a pact to slay an established wrestler before the end of the night, then abandoned the match..... The Leader, commenting on last week's threats, promised to reveal himself if Austin won at SummerSlam, but if he didn't, Austin would retire never knowing who was the driving force behind The Movement Against Austin.... The Pact of newcomers brutally murdered D'Lo Brown in the backroom.... The Rock informed Al Snow that he would shove Al's camper van "up his ass" if he didn't stop utilising vehicles in their feud. Snow then drove out in a monster truck, crumpling the ring as he aimed for The Rock.... As Layfield relaxed in the Mansion's jacuzzi, he fell asleep, allowing The Godfather to fill the jacuzzi with black paint.... Stone Cold Steve Austin, on the Titan Tron, was shown making his own delivery to The Mailman's house. He sprayed manure, via a hosepipe, through Mailman's letterbox.... As Godfather snoozed in a sunbed, Layfield injected him with some of Animal Parkinson's sleeping drug, and turned the settings up.... Paul Wight threatened to "knock Michael Cole's lights out at SummerSlam".... As a blackened Layfield lay outstretched in the sauna, a bright red and peeling Godfather locked him in and turned up the steam.... President McMahon suspended The Pact for a week.... Gasping for breath, Layfield escaped the sauna, found Godfather in the gym and, as Godfather turned away, added about 200lbs of weights to The Godfather's machine..... The donMuraco claimed responsibility for D'Lo's death, being "the Mafia hitman" that he is. Hulk Hogan then came out to a lukewarm response and told Muraco that, at SummerSlam, he would be the hitman, and he's whack out Muraco with the legdrop. Muraco scarpered....The Godfather was ambulanced away with a "severely injured back"....The Mixer claimed that his embarrassment at the hands of Alcoholics Eponymous was holding his career back, and that he wanted The Big Time Drinkers at SummerSlam, with a mystery partner.... As Hardcore Holly took a bath, Val Venis threw a toaster into the equation, giving Holly a real buzz.... Jericho, in his comeback, pinned Christian Cage.... In the main event The Black Crow and Cole beat Bossman and Wight when Bossman stripped Wight and he ran off.

06-01-2006, 09:40 PM	#6
NeanderCarl That's Not My Name Posts: 9,086	August In complete Hard Lines results: *The donMuraco, complete with mafia godfather gimmick, defeated D'Lo Brown with a donBomb; * Animal Parkinson and Mongo Mike Hawk defeated The Two Fat Retards, when the Retards 'goofed out' and ran into the crowd. More sick fun with the WWF; * The Mixer pinned both The Big Time Drinkers but succumbed to a double pin from The Godfather and Layabout Layfield. Godfather, who was sober, then revealed that he'd never been a drunk, he only teamed up with Alcoholics Eponymous to gain revenge on The Mixer and get his mansion back, and that he'd always hated Layfield's guts. He then grabbed the keys. The ref informed him, however, that Layfield also made the cover, simultaneously, and that the two both won the mansion, and would have to share it. Those guys living together? Cue the hilarious vignettes on Impact, surely? Another masterstroke in this impressive feud from the WWF; * Droz defeated Triple H for the vacant Hardcore Title when the fight spilled into a helicopter and eventually to the CN Tower in Toronto, where Droz back bodydropped Triple H through the glass floor to the ground; * Cancer defeated The Undertaker and Mark Henry with a Tumour on the Taker when Mark Henry screwed up again. Taker then tombstoned Henry and hung him from the roof of the arena; * The Eliminator pinned Christian Cage in what appears to be the first match in Eliminator's main event status push; * in the extremely heated main event, The Movement were on the verge of a loss to Team 3:16, when The Leader arrived. Stone Cold Steve Austin was distracted, ripping off the hood, to reveal The Brooklyn Brawler. The real Leader then appeared at the entrance way, and as Austin approached him, The Mailman hit 'The Knock' on the steel ramp, and pinned Austin. Al Snow and Paul Wight chased the Leader, but were mauled by The Rock and Michael Cole. The show went off air with three unconscious fan favourites laying in a heap in the ring, and an incensed crowd. What a result for the WWF. All the Impact highlights: July 26th: The Godfather was shown entering his mansion in a new limo. Layfield then entered from the other wing. Cue a glare between the two.... Debutant Mr. Nice Guy defeated D'Lo Brown, on a major losing streak, with 'The Crowd Pleaser'.... The Gourmet Chef defeated Christian Cage..... As Layfield filled the mansion's swimming pool, Godfather turned the water to boiling hot.... Former King Of The Ring Mr. Ass made his return, beating Val Venis when Hardcore Holly slammed Venis' head into the back of a television at ringside and poured water all over it... Layfield dived headfirst into the piping hot swimming pool.... Steve Austin absolutely belted The Brooklyn Brawler. Then he, and rescuer Paul Wight, were attacker by the Movement and The Leader, who was brandishing a huge fish hook. As Mailman and The Rock held Wight and Austin down the Leader slashed the wicked heels with the hook, and unmasked to reveal Al Snow. The real Leader then appeared on the Titan Tron and, with his trademark disguised voice, announced that Austin was a "thorn in everyone's side" and that he created The Movement to rid the WWF of Austin for everybody's benefit. He announced that he would reveal himself at SummerSlam if Austin could beat The Mailman, but should Austin fail, then he'd have to resort to a "lowly" job, such as ring announcer or referee..... Layfield was loaded into an ambulance and taken to a burns unit... Jeff Jarrett, in his Impact debut, lost to The Naysayer when he began a striptease and was disqualified (Jarrett's new gimmick)..... Cancer defeated Michael Cole and The Rock in the main event when the 'Big Show' Paul Wight Showstoppered Cole onto an ominous bed of nails at ringside. August 2nd: As Mr. Ass battled Don Muraco, Road Dogg made his re-emergence, asking Ass Man to reform The New Age Outlaws. Ass said he didn't think Dogg could go all the way anymore, but that if he could prove himself one-on-one he'd accept.... Big Bossman asked for a personal striptease performance from 'Playboy' Jeff Jarrett in the locker room. As he watched, Jarrett's skin split open and out stepped Black Crow. It was revealed that the real 'Playboy' had been attacked, tied up and used for a mould for a rubber skin which Crow then disguised himself in.... A minute's silence was held on the stage for Chris Jericho who "died earlier in the day". As Brian Christopher bowed his head, a masked man attacked him with a scythe. The mask was removed to reveal 'Eye Candy' himself, Chris Jericho..... Al Snow was shown distraught in the car park. It was revealed that his camper van had been crushed and compacted. The Leader claimed responsibility.... Cancer bragged that there was no team in the WWF capable of taking the Tag Team Titles from them, and that no team could scare them. Scott Taylor then dissed the former New Age Outlaws, telling them "not to bother" reforming as they weren't "up to the task" either... In a Hardcore match, Droz retained the HC title over The Mixer, who was so humiliated by the Alcoholics that his career is, at present, virtually dead. During the match, the action spilled into the canteen where Beaver Cleavage was shown stealing from the till. Droz began tutting, and received a till shot to the jaw for his disapproval, setting up a future feud between the two... Al Snow attacked The Rock, as The Rock made jokes about Al's affection for the camper van. President McMahon then agreed to Al's request for a match with The Rock, but was disqualified for smashing Rocky, then the ref, with a chair... In the main event, Stone Cold and Paul Wight went to a no result with Michael Cole and The Mailman when Al Snow drove a JCB into the Arena and attempted to run over The Movement, killing a ringside fan in the process. Snow, Austin and Wight then united and promised the Leader that, at SummerSlam, he would be revealed and demolished. August 9th: Mr. Ass battled to a draw with Road Dogg, then shook hands. The duo were attacked by Cancer... Droz informed Beaver Cleavage that he did not agree with theft. As the HC champ was being interviewed, Cleavage was seen rummaging through Droz's baggage, pocketing a wallet, a watch and a laptop PC among other objects...When Droz returned to find he'd been robbed, he "went hardcore" on a tree in the car park, and was next seen in a sling.... In a 'newcomers Battle Royal', Mr. Nice Guy, The Gourmet Chef, The Naysayer, The Playboy, The donMuraco and debutant The Surprise formed a pact to slay an established wrestler before the end of the night, then abandoned the match..... The Leader, commenting on last week's threats, promised to reveal himself if Austin won at SummerSlam, but if he didn't, Austin would retire never knowing who was the driving force behind The Movement Against Austin.... The Pact of newcomers brutally murdered D'Lo Brown in the backroom.... The Rock informed Al Snow that he would shove Al's camper van "up his ass" if he didn't stop utilising vehicles in their feud. Snow then drove out in a monster truck, crumpling the ring as he aimed for The Rock.... As Layfield relaxed in the Mansion's jacuzzi, he fell asleep, allowing The Godfather to fill the jacuzzi with black paint.... Stone Cold Steve Austin, on the Titan Tron, was shown making his own delivery to The Mailman's house. He sprayed manure, via a hosepipe, through Mailman's letterbox.... As Godfather snoozed in a sunbed, Layfield injected him with some of Animal Parkinson's sleeping drug, and turned the settings up.... Paul Wight threatened to "knock Michael Cole's lights out at SummerSlam".... As a blackened Layfield lay outstretched in the sauna, a bright red and peeling Godfather locked him in and turned up the steam.... President McMahon suspended The Pact for a week.... Gasping for breath, Layfield escaped the sauna, found Godfather in the gym and, as Godfather turned away, added about 200lbs of weights to The Godfather's machine..... The donMuraco claimed responsibility for D'Lo's death, being "the Mafia hitman" that he is. Hulk Hogan then came out to a lukewarm response and told Muraco that, at SummerSlam, he would be the hitman, and he's whack out Muraco with the legdrop. Muraco scarpered....The Godfather was ambulanced away with a "severely injured back"....The Mixer claimed that his embarrassment at the hands of Alcoholics Eponymous was holding his career back, and that he wanted The Big Time Drinkers at SummerSlam, with a mystery partner.... As Hardcore Holly took a bath, Val Venis threw a toaster into the equation, giving Holly a real buzz.... Jericho, in his comeback, pinned Christian Cage.... In the main event The Black Crow and Cole beat Bossman and Wight when Bossman stripped Wight and he ran off.