TPWW Forums - View Single Post - The Smackdown (Spoof News Predictions from 1998): How far off was I???

**NeanderCarl** · 06-01-2006, 09:41 PM

August 16th:

With their working boots on, the WWF began hyping SummerSlam to death by adding some sort of storyline to every single match... Kingpin Dallas Page made his return to Impact, losing to Animal when Mongo Hawk hit him with a bedpan. Eliminator made the save... The newcomers, allegedly suspended, tried to break into Vince McMahon's office. McMahon reinstated them, and gave them each opponents for SummerSlam. Most agitated was Muraco who discovered he would meet Hogan at SummerSlam, "no matter what"... The Undertaker informed Mark Henry that "darkness was nearly upon him" and promised nobody would ever see or hear of 'Dark Chocolate' after SummerSlam. Henry began quivering with fear and attacked Kevin Kelly... Bossman offered his peace, and a spliff, to Black Crow. The Hippy Bossman was turned down, however, by Crow, and then challenged him, at SS, to put his clothes on the line. If Bossman loses, he'll have to wrestle clothed. If Crow loses, he'll have to wrestle naked, and shave his head. Crow accepted (why???).... The New Age Outlaws promised they had "the cure for Cancer" and promised that, with the tag titles round their waists, the tag team division will go from strength to strength. Backstage, Cancer had fun pretending to be sick. However, when Scott Taylor actually was sick and it got stuck in his throat, everyone just laughed, thinking he was joking.... From seperate hospital beds, Godfather and Layfield agreed to put each other's half of the Mansion on the line against each other at SummerSlam... The Mixer attacked the Drinkers as they battled the Outlaws. Mr. Ass then pinned Jim Beam with a Fame Asser... Michael Cole was forced into agreeing to a stipulation match against Wight at SS by The Leader... Taka Michinoku and Kidman battled to a draw with Fallen Angel and Oscar Junior after an outside interference fest from the participents' SS opponents and partners... As Droz battled Christian Cage in a parking lot Hardcore match, Beaver Cleavage stole Droz's car... Wight and Snow unveiled a brand new camper van, and imprisoned Cole and Rock in the back, to avoid interference in the Austin/ Mailman main event.... Austin beat The Mailman by DQ when The Leader smashed a smoking skull across Austin's cranium.

In the huge four-hour line-up for SummerSlam '06, on August 22nd: WWF Champion The Mailman .vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin; The Undertaker .vs. Mark Henry in a Career Match; Black Crow .vs. Big Bossman in a 'Kit and Caboodle' match; Hulk Hogan .vs. The donMuraco; Intercontinental Champion Brian Christopher .vs. Chris Jericho; Tag Team Champions Cancer .vs. The New Age Outlaws; Val Venis .vs. Hardcore Holly in a 'Loser Gets Electrocuted' European title match; Hardcore Champion Droz .vs. Beaver Cleavage; Michael Cole .vs. Paul Wight in a Lamp post Ladder Match; Al Snow .vs. The Rock in a Camper Van Match; The Godfather .vs. Layabout Layfield for 100% ownership of the mansion; The Big Time Drinkers .vs. The Mixer and Mystery Partner; Triple H .vs. The Naysayer; The Playboy .vs. Christian Cage; The Gourmet Chef .vs. Mr. Nice Guy; Gangrel .vs. Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels; Animal Parkinson and Mongo Mike Hawk .vs. The Eliminator and Kingpin Dallas Page; Taka Michinoku and Kidman .vs. Two Fat Retards and Norman Smiley .vs. Oscar Junior .vs. The Surprise in a Triple Threat.

IN OTHER NEWS: The WWF is putting on a huge, 19-match card for SummerSlam in order to try and get some of the lower undercard wrestlers, feuds and storylines over with the crowd, and give the aforementioned the opportunity to take a few steps up the ladder, including pitting newcomers against established stars. It's rumoured there will be a big shake up after SS '06, with fresh feuds and storylines, meaning SS will play host to the conclusions of all the big storylines, and possibly host the start of some new ones too.... Nicolas Cage, star of Con Air and Snake Eyes, is in negotiations with the group to appear as Christian Cage's father. Any one remember when Christian was billed as Little Christopher, alleged son of Brian Christopher? Jay Reso hated the storyline. Flashback?.... Animal and Mongo may reform a full-time tag team.... Ray Storm, brother of deceased wrestler Devon Storm, is looking to enter the WWF and feud with his brother's murderer Val Venis. Ray, real name Raymond Ford, is hoping for a tryout.... The Light Heavyweight Title is officially dead, and the remaining five members of the division will either be sent on their merry way, or repackaged into 'heavyweight division underdogs'. Also possible, they may be killed off for ratings.... What exactly is so surprising about The Surprise?... The recent influx of wrestlers from the training facilities is a positive sign of the WWF's strengthening roster... The former Public Enemy, The Two Fat Retards, have been individually named Spasmo and Dipstick in another example of the WWF's inconsideration towards good taste... Haku and The Barbarian have entered into negotiations with WCW, in an attempt to get more money from the WWF. The WWF have already offered them $25m each per annum... Marc Mero commited suicide on August 11th at his California home. Mero had become depressed following his termination from the WWF last month, and the break up of his third marriage to Luna Vachon, and was found hanging from a tree. At least three wrestlers have paid tribute to filthy egotist Mero... It seems the WWF regrets a few of it's past firings. Offers have been made to Steven Regal and Dustin Runnels, doubtless with the stipulation that we never have to endure 'The Fightin' Frenchman' or 'The Chauffeur' ever again..... Gangrel is in for a push... Ditto Chris Daniels... Also, expect a stronger tag team division over the coming months, which may mean that we'll see The Hardy Boyz on TV for the first time since WrestleMania... An ugly incident occurred at an airport cafe prior to the August 9th edition of Impact. As Christian Cage and The Big Bossman indulged in tea and cakes together, Cage found a sudden source of amusement in playfully pressing the piping hot teaspoon from his tea into the Bossman's degloved right hand. Bossman, painfully scolded, went positively ballistic on Cage, until a passing-by monk forcefully ended the scuffle... An official announcement on Shawn Michaels' position will be made soon...Over the coming weeks, ref Tim White's 'Teddyboy' gimmick may get more exposure... see ya in September with all the latest news.

06-01-2006, 09:41 PM	#7
NeanderCarl That's Not My Name Posts: 9,086	August 16th: With their working boots on, the WWF began hyping SummerSlam to death by adding some sort of storyline to every single match... Kingpin Dallas Page made his return to Impact, losing to Animal when Mongo Hawk hit him with a bedpan. Eliminator made the save... The newcomers, allegedly suspended, tried to break into Vince McMahon's office. McMahon reinstated them, and gave them each opponents for SummerSlam. Most agitated was Muraco who discovered he would meet Hogan at SummerSlam, "no matter what"... The Undertaker informed Mark Henry that "darkness was nearly upon him" and promised nobody would ever see or hear of 'Dark Chocolate' after SummerSlam. Henry began quivering with fear and attacked Kevin Kelly... Bossman offered his peace, and a spliff, to Black Crow. The Hippy Bossman was turned down, however, by Crow, and then challenged him, at SS, to put his clothes on the line. If Bossman loses, he'll have to wrestle clothed. If Crow loses, he'll have to wrestle naked, and shave his head. Crow accepted (why???).... The New Age Outlaws promised they had "the cure for Cancer" and promised that, with the tag titles round their waists, the tag team division will go from strength to strength. Backstage, Cancer had fun pretending to be sick. However, when Scott Taylor actually was sick and it got stuck in his throat, everyone just laughed, thinking he was joking.... From seperate hospital beds, Godfather and Layfield agreed to put each other's half of the Mansion on the line against each other at SummerSlam... The Mixer attacked the Drinkers as they battled the Outlaws. Mr. Ass then pinned Jim Beam with a Fame Asser... Michael Cole was forced into agreeing to a stipulation match against Wight at SS by The Leader... Taka Michinoku and Kidman battled to a draw with Fallen Angel and Oscar Junior after an outside interference fest from the participents' SS opponents and partners... As Droz battled Christian Cage in a parking lot Hardcore match, Beaver Cleavage stole Droz's car... Wight and Snow unveiled a brand new camper van, and imprisoned Cole and Rock in the back, to avoid interference in the Austin/ Mailman main event.... Austin beat The Mailman by DQ when The Leader smashed a smoking skull across Austin's cranium. In the huge four-hour line-up for SummerSlam '06, on August 22nd: WWF Champion The Mailman .vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin; The Undertaker .vs. Mark Henry in a Career Match; Black Crow .vs. Big Bossman in a 'Kit and Caboodle' match; Hulk Hogan .vs. The donMuraco; Intercontinental Champion Brian Christopher .vs. Chris Jericho; Tag Team Champions Cancer .vs. The New Age Outlaws; Val Venis .vs. Hardcore Holly in a 'Loser Gets Electrocuted' European title match; Hardcore Champion Droz .vs. Beaver Cleavage; Michael Cole .vs. Paul Wight in a Lamp post Ladder Match; Al Snow .vs. The Rock in a Camper Van Match; The Godfather .vs. Layabout Layfield for 100% ownership of the mansion; The Big Time Drinkers .vs. The Mixer and Mystery Partner; Triple H .vs. The Naysayer; The Playboy .vs. Christian Cage; The Gourmet Chef .vs. Mr. Nice Guy; Gangrel .vs. Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels; Animal Parkinson and Mongo Mike Hawk .vs. The Eliminator and Kingpin Dallas Page; Taka Michinoku and Kidman .vs. Two Fat Retards and Norman Smiley .vs. Oscar Junior .vs. The Surprise in a Triple Threat. IN OTHER NEWS: The WWF is putting on a huge, 19-match card for SummerSlam in order to try and get some of the lower undercard wrestlers, feuds and storylines over with the crowd, and give the aforementioned the opportunity to take a few steps up the ladder, including pitting newcomers against established stars. It's rumoured there will be a big shake up after SS '06, with fresh feuds and storylines, meaning SS will play host to the conclusions of all the big storylines, and possibly host the start of some new ones too.... Nicolas Cage, star of Con Air and Snake Eyes, is in negotiations with the group to appear as Christian Cage's father. Any one remember when Christian was billed as Little Christopher, alleged son of Brian Christopher? Jay Reso hated the storyline. Flashback?.... Animal and Mongo may reform a full-time tag team.... Ray Storm, brother of deceased wrestler Devon Storm, is looking to enter the WWF and feud with his brother's murderer Val Venis. Ray, real name Raymond Ford, is hoping for a tryout.... The Light Heavyweight Title is officially dead, and the remaining five members of the division will either be sent on their merry way, or repackaged into 'heavyweight division underdogs'. Also possible, they may be killed off for ratings.... What exactly is so surprising about The Surprise?... The recent influx of wrestlers from the training facilities is a positive sign of the WWF's strengthening roster... The former Public Enemy, The Two Fat Retards, have been individually named Spasmo and Dipstick in another example of the WWF's inconsideration towards good taste... Haku and The Barbarian have entered into negotiations with WCW, in an attempt to get more money from the WWF. The WWF have already offered them $25m each per annum... Marc Mero commited suicide on August 11th at his California home. Mero had become depressed following his termination from the WWF last month, and the break up of his third marriage to Luna Vachon, and was found hanging from a tree. At least three wrestlers have paid tribute to filthy egotist Mero... It seems the WWF regrets a few of it's past firings. Offers have been made to Steven Regal and Dustin Runnels, doubtless with the stipulation that we never have to endure 'The Fightin' Frenchman' or 'The Chauffeur' ever again..... Gangrel is in for a push... Ditto Chris Daniels... Also, expect a stronger tag team division over the coming months, which may mean that we'll see The Hardy Boyz on TV for the first time since WrestleMania... An ugly incident occurred at an airport cafe prior to the August 9th edition of Impact. As Christian Cage and The Big Bossman indulged in tea and cakes together, Cage found a sudden source of amusement in playfully pressing the piping hot teaspoon from his tea into the Bossman's degloved right hand. Bossman, painfully scolded, went positively ballistic on Cage, until a passing-by monk forcefully ended the scuffle... An official announcement on Shawn Michaels' position will be made soon...Over the coming weeks, ref Tim White's 'Teddyboy' gimmick may get more exposure... see ya in September with all the latest news.