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**NeanderCarl** · 06-01-2006, 09:54 PM

September

In complete SummerSlam '06 results:

* 'Sixshooter' Norman Smiley, complete with new 'evil cowboy' gimmick, outlasted The Surprise (unsurprisingly) and Oscar Junior in a Triple Threat when he lassooed the duo together and trampled them with his new horse, Rollin;
* The Two Fat Retards defeated Taka Michinoku and William Kidman with a sloppy 'Goof Out' in a stinker. Dissension was evident between Kidman and Taka following the bout;
* Kingpin Dallas Page (remember him? He's the King of the Ring!) and The Eliminator absolutely destroyed Animal Parkinson and Mongo Mike Hawk , aka The Legion of Dumb, in a pretty decent bout;
* 'Hell's Angel' Dave Heath, the guy formerly known as Gangrel, went to a double count out with The Fallen Angel, Chris Daniels;
* The Gourmet Chef defeated Mr. Nice Guy with 'The Aftertaste'. Mr. Nice Guy then tried to shake Chef's hand, and was pasted;
* The Playboy Jeff Jarrett defeated Christian Cage when Cage appeared to suffer a mental breakdown, and The Playboy nailed 'The Centrefold';
* Triple H defeated The Naysayer, when the Naysayer gave up for no apparent reason in a typically negative performance;
* Duke The Mixer Droese and his new regular partner, 'The Real Man's Man' Stephen Regal defeated The Big Time Drinkers;
* Hulk Hogan defeated The donMuraco, who died of a heart attack earlier in the day, when officials carried Muraco's lifeless body to the ring and Hogan legdropped it in an electrifying match;
* The Godfather took full possession of his mansion by defeating Layabout Layfield with assistance from Triple H. After the bout, Norman Smiley inexplicably attacked The Godfather;
* The Rock defeated Al Snow in a Camper Van Match by locking Snow in the boot of the camper van;
* Paul Wight defeated Magnificent Michael Cole by dragging him up the ladder and smashing the light bulb of the Lamp Post with Cole's head, putting out the light;
* Beaver Cleavage defeated Droz in a wild Hardcore Title match by stealing Droz's light sabre from the locker room and knocking him out with it;
* Hardcore Holly retained the European Title over Val Venis when Ray Storm attacked Venis with an Electric Guitar, zapping Venis on the head. Venis was then locked into an electric chamber and fried;
* The New Age Outlaws finally, and inevitably, dethroned tag champs Cancer with a Fame Asser by Mr. Ass on Scott Taylor, after which Test absolutely brutalised his former partner;
* 'Eye Candy' Chris Jericho reclaimed the Intercontinental Championship from Brian Christopher with The Lion Tamer in a straight but thrilling match;
* Black Crow thankfully beat The Big Bossman, ensuring the Bossman would no longer wrestle naked, with a Crow Bar;
* The Undertaker ended Mark Henry's ten year WWF career with a Tombstone in the Career Match;
* Stone Cold Steve Austin defeated The Mailman for the WWF Title with the Stone Cold Stunner. As Austin tried to unmask The Leader, he was attacked by Chris Jericho, who combined forces with The Leader to annihilate Austin and make him a bloodied mess. The Leader then unmasked to reveal, surprisingly, Shane McMahon, who has had no real contact with former foe Austin for years. McMahon then revealed he still harboured his hatred for Steve Austin and has spent years perfecting his new Master Plan.

Overall, then, SummerSlam was a great show and achieved everything it wanted to. It introduced new characters and pushes for Smiley, Heath, Storm, Test and Taylor and pretty much revitalised the tag team scene with Eliminator and Page, the Outlaws, Regal and Droese.

Here's the monthly Impact rundown:

August 23rd:

Christian Cage revealed that he suffered a breakdown at SummerSlam because he had just received a message from his estranged father, who "abandoned him as a child"... A video was shown of The Rock selling the camper van, with Al Snow in the boot, to a gyspy, who then drove off with it... President Vince McMahon voiced his disapproval at Shane's inability to forget the past feud with Austin, then ordered Chris Jericho to meet Black Crow in the main event... The Hardy Boyz defeated The Eliminator and Dallas Page, now known as The Hardcore Express, when Mr. Ass hit the Fame Asser on Page in a run-in... Norman Smiley was seen emptying a truckload of his horse Rollin's manure into The Godfather's outdoor swimming pool as The 'Faddah battled Val Venis. The Godfather abandoned the match and left Venis open to a Ray Storm attack... In the main event, Black Crow defeated Jericho by countout when Austin attacked Shane McMahon and Jericho went to the rescue. Vince McMahon tried to make the save and tasted steel courtesy of his loving son.

August 30th:

Christian Cage revealed that his father was Hollywood actor, Nicolas Cage, and that he had walked out on his family as a child... Al Snow re-emerged, dressed as a gyspy, with several gyspy people at his side. The Big Show tried to get Snow away from the gyspies, but Wight ended up buying a rabbit's foot... The Hardcore Express threw Road Dogg Jesse Jammes into a tank of ice-cream, freezing him solid. They then smashed his ankle clean off his leg... As Michael Cole cut an interview with The Mailman, in which he announced he was the real driving force behind the Movement, Mailman became suddenly annoyed and hit The Knock on Cole. Mailman then stated "That was for WrestleMania!" An obviously bitter Mailman hasn't forgiven Cole for defeating him in the WM tournament... The Godfather lost to Steve Austin when Norman Smiley shot him in the leg. Austin was then jumped by Jericho and Shane McMahon. Vince made the save.

Sept 6th:

Road Dogg unveiled his false foot. Mr. Ass was crying.... In their debut The Blue Arsed Flies defeated The Hardcore Express when every tag team in the roster run in.... The Big Show was kidnapped by gypsies... Test told Scott Taylor that he "porked" his sister and that she was pregnant. Debbie Taylor then came out with a rather large bump adourning her mid-section, and disowned Scott, before placing her hands inside Test's pants. Scott was suitably ashamed.... The New Age Outlaws defeated William Kidman and Taka Michinoku when Kidman went to work on Road Dogg's false foot with no remorse and Taka tried to stop him. Kidman mauled Michinoku, and Mr. Ass hit Taka with the Fame Asser.... Harry 'Cat Burglar' Cleavage, formerly Beaver Cleavage, broke into Droz's house and stole his mother.... Shane McMahon ordered Vince McMahon to vacate the presidency of the WWF, and awarded it to Paul E. Dangerously... The Big Bossman announced his retirement "into the wilderness where I can truly be naked". As he left, he caught The Playboy Jeff Jarrett doing his striptease and attacked him through jealousy and frustration... Hardcore Holly retained the European Title over Black Crow.... Vince McMahon protested over giving up the presidency. Shane said he'd have to beat him in the main event to remain El Presidente.... Vince pinned Shane after interference from Dangerously.

Sept 13th:

Taka Michinoku beat William Kidman by disqualification when Kidman walloped Taka with a bee-hive, causing Taka to have an allergic reaction. As paramedics stretchered him away, Taka's head was bigger than a balloon.... The Big Show and Al Snow were seen smoking marijuana with gypsies..... The Hardy Boyz beat The Two Fat Retards.... Big Show and Snow were shown cutting feet off rabbits... Jeff Jarrett sent the Big Bossman a batch of nude photographs, driving 'The Naturalist' insane..... Debbie Taylor was seen canoodling with Test.... Chris Jericho pinned Scott Taylor, and was saved from an attack from Steve Austin by Shane McMahon... Shane and Test went to a no-contest with Austin and Vince.

Sept 20th:

Steve Austin challenged Shane McMahon to make a title attempt in the main event... Michael Cole made his return after several weeks of injury, attacking The Mailman with an enormous spoon.... Al Snow and The Big Show made their re-debut, as tag team The Gypsies, with a brand new, stoned, look. They beat Brian Christopher and Smiley. Afterwards, a recuperating Godfather challenged Smiley to a Gunfight from his hospital bed via satellite. He then sent out three fine ho's to entice Smiley- and they promptly low-blowed the 'Sixshooter'... Hardcore Holly and Droz battled to a draw when The Cat Burglar hit them both with a Stolen Moment, then locked The Half Inch on Droz... The Real Men's Men screwed The New Age Outlaws out of a victory over The Hardy Boyz... The Gypsies destroyed The Rock backstage...Triple H wondered aloud where Layabout Layfield had been at lately, then showed video footage of the night of SummerSlam, where a drunken Layfield was relaxing at a bar. Triple H drove a JCB against the window, smashing glass into Layfield's face. A scarred Layfield then appeared on the TitanTron and challenged Triple H to bring two of his best to meet the Alcoholics Eponymous team at Annihilation.... The Hell's Angel pinned The Fallen Angel who replaced Christian Cage who was too distressed to wrestle, after blasting him with a sander... Austin mangled Shane but was attacked by Jericho and Test. Vince, Paul E. and Scott Taylor made the save.

The next pay-per-view, Annihilation , is set for September 26th. In the current lineup, featuring tag team matches galore - WWF Champion Steve Austin, Vince McMahon and Scott Taylor .vs. Shane McMahon, WWF Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho and Test .vs. Michael Cole and The Gypsies .vs. The Mailman and The Hardcore Express .vs. Ray Storm and The New Age Outlaws .vs. Val Venis and The Real Men's Men in a 6 Team Elimination Match; WWF European Champion Hardcore Holly .vs. WWF Hardcore Champion Droz .vs. Harry Cleavage in a Triple Threat; The Godfather .vs. Sixshooter Smiley in a Gunfight; The Blue Arsed Flies and Triple H .vs. Alcoholics Eponymous; Hell's Angel Dave Heath and a mystery partner .vs. The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels and a mystery partner; The Big Bossman .vs. The Playboy Jeff Jarrett.

IN OTHER NEWS: On the Saturday 11th September live broadcast of WCW Saturday Late and Live, Shawn Michaels jumped the ring and superkicked champ Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and later in the show pinned Duggan for the WCW title. The defection to World Championship Wrestling surprised many within the WWF who believed that Michaels would take a role as a commentator and eventually return to action in a WWF ring. It is also widely speculated as to how Michaels attained a contract release from the WWF who are usually adament not to release wrestlers who intend to sign for rivals WCW... Former WWF tag team championship wrestler and manager Mr. Fuji (Harry Fujiwara) was imprisoned for sixty years following his courtcase in late August. He was arrested earlier in the year for prostitution... Hulk Hogan is in negotiations to wrestle George Clooney at Survivor Series in November... Haku and The Barbarian came desperately close to signing for WCW in mid-September but revoked when the WWF offered them $1m each per appearence, plus $2m monthly bonuses! They are now expected to sign up within the next few days..... Brian Christopher is negotiating a contract release..... Expect some new inductees to the roster from the WWF training facilities over the next few months... Steve Austin will be demoted to mid-card status after WrestleMania due to his diminishing physical condition, and eventually be phased out into the commentary division... It is rumoured that Ray Storm's contract has a clause that states if Val Venis were to die, his contract would immediately expire... Jimmy Hart filed a lawsuit against the WWF in early September, for "not caring" that the scrawny Mouth Of The South had died... That's all folks!

06-01-2006, 09:54 PM	#8
NeanderCarl That's Not My Name Posts: 9,086	September In complete SummerSlam '06 results: * 'Sixshooter' Norman Smiley, complete with new 'evil cowboy' gimmick, outlasted The Surprise (unsurprisingly) and Oscar Junior in a Triple Threat when he lassooed the duo together and trampled them with his new horse, Rollin; * The Two Fat Retards defeated Taka Michinoku and William Kidman with a sloppy 'Goof Out' in a stinker. Dissension was evident between Kidman and Taka following the bout; * Kingpin Dallas Page (remember him? He's the King of the Ring!) and The Eliminator absolutely destroyed Animal Parkinson and Mongo Mike Hawk , aka The Legion of Dumb, in a pretty decent bout; * 'Hell's Angel' Dave Heath, the guy formerly known as Gangrel, went to a double count out with The Fallen Angel, Chris Daniels; * The Gourmet Chef defeated Mr. Nice Guy with 'The Aftertaste'. Mr. Nice Guy then tried to shake Chef's hand, and was pasted; * The Playboy Jeff Jarrett defeated Christian Cage when Cage appeared to suffer a mental breakdown, and The Playboy nailed 'The Centrefold'; * Triple H defeated The Naysayer, when the Naysayer gave up for no apparent reason in a typically negative performance; * Duke The Mixer Droese and his new regular partner, 'The Real Man's Man' Stephen Regal defeated The Big Time Drinkers; * Hulk Hogan defeated The donMuraco, who died of a heart attack earlier in the day, when officials carried Muraco's lifeless body to the ring and Hogan legdropped it in an electrifying match; * The Godfather took full possession of his mansion by defeating Layabout Layfield with assistance from Triple H. After the bout, Norman Smiley inexplicably attacked The Godfather; * The Rock defeated Al Snow in a Camper Van Match by locking Snow in the boot of the camper van; * Paul Wight defeated Magnificent Michael Cole by dragging him up the ladder and smashing the light bulb of the Lamp Post with Cole's head, putting out the light; * Beaver Cleavage defeated Droz in a wild Hardcore Title match by stealing Droz's light sabre from the locker room and knocking him out with it; * Hardcore Holly retained the European Title over Val Venis when Ray Storm attacked Venis with an Electric Guitar, zapping Venis on the head. Venis was then locked into an electric chamber and fried; * The New Age Outlaws finally, and inevitably, dethroned tag champs Cancer with a Fame Asser by Mr. Ass on Scott Taylor, after which Test absolutely brutalised his former partner; * 'Eye Candy' Chris Jericho reclaimed the Intercontinental Championship from Brian Christopher with The Lion Tamer in a straight but thrilling match; * Black Crow thankfully beat The Big Bossman, ensuring the Bossman would no longer wrestle naked, with a Crow Bar; * The Undertaker ended Mark Henry's ten year WWF career with a Tombstone in the Career Match; * Stone Cold Steve Austin defeated The Mailman for the WWF Title with the Stone Cold Stunner. As Austin tried to unmask The Leader, he was attacked by Chris Jericho, who combined forces with The Leader to annihilate Austin and make him a bloodied mess. The Leader then unmasked to reveal, surprisingly, Shane McMahon, who has had no real contact with former foe Austin for years. McMahon then revealed he still harboured his hatred for Steve Austin and has spent years perfecting his new Master Plan. Overall, then, SummerSlam was a great show and achieved everything it wanted to. It introduced new characters and pushes for Smiley, Heath, Storm, Test and Taylor and pretty much revitalised the tag team scene with Eliminator and Page, the Outlaws, Regal and Droese. Here's the monthly Impact rundown: August 23rd: Christian Cage revealed that he suffered a breakdown at SummerSlam because he had just received a message from his estranged father, who "abandoned him as a child"... A video was shown of The Rock selling the camper van, with Al Snow in the boot, to a gyspy, who then drove off with it... President Vince McMahon voiced his disapproval at Shane's inability to forget the past feud with Austin, then ordered Chris Jericho to meet Black Crow in the main event... The Hardy Boyz defeated The Eliminator and Dallas Page, now known as The Hardcore Express, when Mr. Ass hit the Fame Asser on Page in a run-in... Norman Smiley was seen emptying a truckload of his horse Rollin's manure into The Godfather's outdoor swimming pool as The 'Faddah battled Val Venis. The Godfather abandoned the match and left Venis open to a Ray Storm attack... In the main event, Black Crow defeated Jericho by countout when Austin attacked Shane McMahon and Jericho went to the rescue. Vince McMahon tried to make the save and tasted steel courtesy of his loving son. August 30th: Christian Cage revealed that his father was Hollywood actor, Nicolas Cage, and that he had walked out on his family as a child... Al Snow re-emerged, dressed as a gyspy, with several gyspy people at his side. The Big Show tried to get Snow away from the gyspies, but Wight ended up buying a rabbit's foot... The Hardcore Express threw Road Dogg Jesse Jammes into a tank of ice-cream, freezing him solid. They then smashed his ankle clean off his leg... As Michael Cole cut an interview with The Mailman, in which he announced he was the real driving force behind the Movement, Mailman became suddenly annoyed and hit The Knock on Cole. Mailman then stated "That was for WrestleMania!" An obviously bitter Mailman hasn't forgiven Cole for defeating him in the WM tournament... The Godfather lost to Steve Austin when Norman Smiley shot him in the leg. Austin was then jumped by Jericho and Shane McMahon. Vince made the save. Sept 6th: Road Dogg unveiled his false foot. Mr. Ass was crying.... In their debut The Blue Arsed Flies defeated The Hardcore Express when every tag team in the roster run in.... The Big Show was kidnapped by gypsies... Test told Scott Taylor that he "porked" his sister and that she was pregnant. Debbie Taylor then came out with a rather large bump adourning her mid-section, and disowned Scott, before placing her hands inside Test's pants. Scott was suitably ashamed.... The New Age Outlaws defeated William Kidman and Taka Michinoku when Kidman went to work on Road Dogg's false foot with no remorse and Taka tried to stop him. Kidman mauled Michinoku, and Mr. Ass hit Taka with the Fame Asser.... Harry 'Cat Burglar' Cleavage, formerly Beaver Cleavage, broke into Droz's house and stole his mother.... Shane McMahon ordered Vince McMahon to vacate the presidency of the WWF, and awarded it to Paul E. Dangerously... The Big Bossman announced his retirement "into the wilderness where I can truly be naked". As he left, he caught The Playboy Jeff Jarrett doing his striptease and attacked him through jealousy and frustration... Hardcore Holly retained the European Title over Black Crow.... Vince McMahon protested over giving up the presidency. Shane said he'd have to beat him in the main event to remain El Presidente.... Vince pinned Shane after interference from Dangerously. Sept 13th: Taka Michinoku beat William Kidman by disqualification when Kidman walloped Taka with a bee-hive, causing Taka to have an allergic reaction. As paramedics stretchered him away, Taka's head was bigger than a balloon.... The Big Show and Al Snow were seen smoking marijuana with gypsies..... The Hardy Boyz beat The Two Fat Retards.... Big Show and Snow were shown cutting feet off rabbits... Jeff Jarrett sent the Big Bossman a batch of nude photographs, driving 'The Naturalist' insane..... Debbie Taylor was seen canoodling with Test.... Chris Jericho pinned Scott Taylor, and was saved from an attack from Steve Austin by Shane McMahon... Shane and Test went to a no-contest with Austin and Vince. Sept 20th: Steve Austin challenged Shane McMahon to make a title attempt in the main event... Michael Cole made his return after several weeks of injury, attacking The Mailman with an enormous spoon.... Al Snow and The Big Show made their re-debut, as tag team The Gypsies, with a brand new, stoned, look. They beat Brian Christopher and Smiley. Afterwards, a recuperating Godfather challenged Smiley to a Gunfight from his hospital bed via satellite. He then sent out three fine ho's to entice Smiley- and they promptly low-blowed the 'Sixshooter'... Hardcore Holly and Droz battled to a draw when The Cat Burglar hit them both with a Stolen Moment, then locked The Half Inch on Droz... The Real Men's Men screwed The New Age Outlaws out of a victory over The Hardy Boyz... The Gypsies destroyed The Rock backstage...Triple H wondered aloud where Layabout Layfield had been at lately, then showed video footage of the night of SummerSlam, where a drunken Layfield was relaxing at a bar. Triple H drove a JCB against the window, smashing glass into Layfield's face. A scarred Layfield then appeared on the TitanTron and challenged Triple H to bring two of his best to meet the Alcoholics Eponymous team at Annihilation.... The Hell's Angel pinned The Fallen Angel who replaced Christian Cage who was too distressed to wrestle, after blasting him with a sander... Austin mangled Shane but was attacked by Jericho and Test. Vince, Paul E. and Scott Taylor made the save. The next pay-per-view, Annihilation , is set for September 26th. In the current lineup, featuring tag team matches galore - WWF Champion Steve Austin, Vince McMahon and Scott Taylor .vs. Shane McMahon, WWF Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho and Test .vs. Michael Cole and The Gypsies .vs. The Mailman and The Hardcore Express .vs. Ray Storm and The New Age Outlaws .vs. Val Venis and The Real Men's Men in a 6 Team Elimination Match; WWF European Champion Hardcore Holly .vs. WWF Hardcore Champion Droz .vs. Harry Cleavage in a Triple Threat; The Godfather .vs. Sixshooter Smiley in a Gunfight; The Blue Arsed Flies and Triple H .vs. Alcoholics Eponymous; Hell's Angel Dave Heath and a mystery partner .vs. The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels and a mystery partner; The Big Bossman .vs. The Playboy Jeff Jarrett. IN OTHER NEWS: On the Saturday 11th September live broadcast of WCW Saturday Late and Live, Shawn Michaels jumped the ring and superkicked champ Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and later in the show pinned Duggan for the WCW title. The defection to World Championship Wrestling surprised many within the WWF who believed that Michaels would take a role as a commentator and eventually return to action in a WWF ring. It is also widely speculated as to how Michaels attained a contract release from the WWF who are usually adament not to release wrestlers who intend to sign for rivals WCW... Former WWF tag team championship wrestler and manager Mr. Fuji (Harry Fujiwara) was imprisoned for sixty years following his courtcase in late August. He was arrested earlier in the year for prostitution... Hulk Hogan is in negotiations to wrestle George Clooney at Survivor Series in November... Haku and The Barbarian came desperately close to signing for WCW in mid-September but revoked when the WWF offered them $1m each per appearence, plus $2m monthly bonuses! They are now expected to sign up within the next few days..... Brian Christopher is negotiating a contract release..... Expect some new inductees to the roster from the WWF training facilities over the next few months... Steve Austin will be demoted to mid-card status after WrestleMania due to his diminishing physical condition, and eventually be phased out into the commentary division... It is rumoured that Ray Storm's contract has a clause that states if Val Venis were to die, his contract would immediately expire... Jimmy Hart filed a lawsuit against the WWF in early September, for "not caring" that the scrawny Mouth Of The South had died... That's all folks!