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- Don't bring your babies to action movies! I don't care what it's rated, action movies are loud, and babies get scared by sudden loud noises. When babies get scared, they cry. When babies cry, it ruins the theater-going experience for the rest of us.
- Cell phones. I don't mind it so much if you're texting, because at least that's quiet. But the fact that you need to answer your phone to tell your friend that you're at a movie and you'll call them back is asinine. Turn your phone off before you even walk into the building. They'll go to voicemail and assume you're too busy to talk. Saves you the trouble of telling them and saves me the trouble of getting my fist out of your throat.
- If your kid is too young (or your grandparent too old) to read, they're too young (or old) to go to the movies. If you have to read the on-screen information OUT LOUD to them, they shouldn't be there.
- It's okay to comment on trailers. I have no problem with leaning over to tell your friend "I want to see that" or "That looks stupid" or "I love that writer" or whatever. But that is when the talking stops. During the movie, you can laugh at the jokes, cry at the sad parts, gasp at the scary parts, but DO NOT TALK. If you can whisper, that's fine, but I've found that most people are incapable of communicating at a decibel lower than stage whisper.
- Don't cheer or applaud. They can't hear you.
- If you're attending a movie on opening night that is expected to do very well, sit as close to the middle of the aisle as you can. I HATE that people will come into a show that they KNOW is going to sell out, but they sit their fat ass down in the very first seat in the row, so everyone who wants to sit in that row has to climb over them.
- Never ever ever ever ever ever EVER speak to your friends about upcoming plot twists, no matter how many times you've seen the movie. I couldn't tell you how many times I've had the ending of a movie ruined for me by people who are seeing it for the fourth time who don't have the courtesy to keep their damn spoilers to themselves.
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