[Mr. Nerfect]

Here is my suggestion for the RAW following, the three-hour "RAW Family Reunion":

The show begins with a video recapping the RAW Homecoming special that aired on the USA Network last year. A quick rundown of tonight's card is given: Matt Hardy returns to RAW one year after being exiled, this time to join his brother Jeff in battle against a tag team that lays claim to having a richer legacy; four of RAW's biggest Superstars will brawl for personal and professional superiority; the greatest tag team to never hold Tag Team gold will challenge for the most prestigious Titles in tag team wrestling; former RAW Superstars will clash over the ECW World Championship; the former General Manager of RAW will address the world; and two more ambitious ladies will scratch and claw their way through a tournament to declare a new Women's Champion, etc.

A new start for RAW, and a new set is brought in. This can just be for this episode. Who knows? Who cares? Jim Ross is joined by JBL and Joey Styles. JBL slaps Styles on the back of the head for no reason at all. John Cena's music hits, as he comes out to his normal reaction. "A lot of you probably saw what happened on SmackDown!," (JBL: Everyone saw what happened on SmackDown!. Everybody in the world) begins Cena. He tells the production truck to roll the footage. It shows John Cena replacing Batista in the Pick Your Poison Match against King Booker, once Finlay tried to take him out before the match. It then shows William Regal costing John Cena the match. Cena then decides to show us what happened at No Mercy, when Cena defended the WWE Championship against William Regal. We see Regal tapping out to the STFU. JBL calls the "STFU" the "Regal Stretch", and claims Regal was beaten by the perfect move he created. "My name is Finlay, and I like to fight," is heard, and out comes Finlay with William Regal. Finlay tells John Cena that he lost to their King, and there is a reason for it. Cena is a sub-par World Champion. Finlay says that Regal may have failed to take the belt from Cena, but Finlay is twice the man Regal is. This pisses off William, who takes the microphone and says he is the reason Finlay looks like he's from bloody Alabama rather than Ireland. Cena then tells them they both shag sheep, he just wants to know which one wants to challenge him for the WWE Championship tonight.

Jonathan Coachman's music hits, and he is out with Theodore Long. Coach says that he and Teddy think they can work this out like civilised adults. John Cena defends the WWE Championship in a Triple Threat Match against both Finlay and William Regal tonight. Finlay and Regal like the sounds of that, and then decide to storm the ring together. Regal pulls out at the last second though, and leaves Finlay to get an ass-kicking, culminating in the F-U. Regal is on stage smiling, as Cena is on the ramp keeping and eye on both his opponents, while Finlay is in the ring, looking pissed off at Regal.

When we return, The Hardy Boyz make their entrance to what would probably be a huge pop. The World's Greatest Tag Team then enter, to whatever reaction they might receive. Jeff Hardy is isolated for most of the match, and he eventually goes to tag Matt Hardy...but Hardy drops off the apron. Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas then hit the Broken Arrow, followed by the German Suplex/Superkick combo for the pin. JR is having fits about how Matt turned on Jeff, and JBL says it is a bad career move for Matt, and Styles defends Matt by saying he probably has his reasons. JBL says he intends to make sure the viewers do get reasons on SmackDown!, even if he has to come out of retirement to do it.

When we return from the commercial, Johnny Nitro is begging Melina to forgive him. Melina says that being dominant female on RAW is the most important thing in the world to her, and being Women's Champion makes you that. She doesn't know if she can trust Nitro to look after her career. Nitro then says it is Melina's job to look after his career. What could have been the greatest Intercontinental Championship reign of all-time was cut short because Melina was having her period. Melina then gets really angry at Nitro, and demands to know how he could say that. Johnny says he that is the future of this business, and if Melina doesn't want to hitch a ride on the Nitro train, he'll just start banging the new Women's Champion, whoever it may be, because there is no chance it's going to be Melina. Nitro then walks off, and Melina can't believe she was talked to like that.

Maria is attacked on the way to the ring by Victoria, who completely kicks her ass at ringside, and even hits her with a steel chair, before rolling her in the ring and kicking her ass some more (this time legally). Maria is busted open. Victoria hits Maria with the Widow's Peak, then poses on all four turnbuckles, before finally sliding into a cover, 1-2-No! Some woman has rushed the ring and has started pounding the shit out of Victoria. It's Beth Phoenix! Phoenix strangles Victoria with the camera cable at ringside, as JBL says this is the hottest thing he has ever seen. Phoenix is screaming "You injured me!" over and over again. Joey Styles remarks that these women make Ariel seem sane. JR builds on it and says "Hell, they make Mickie James look sane". JBL can go even further and say "They have nothing on Joanie Laurer". Phoenix and Victoria are seperated by officials. The winner of the match is Victoria via disqualification.

Jonathan Coachman is waiting for a limo backstage. Eric Bischoff gets out with his wife. Coach asks him what his revelelation to the world might be. Bisch tells Coach to bring Theodore Long, and come out and witness it. It shall be magnificent. Another limo pulls in, and out pops Vince and Shane (both in neckbraces). They ask Bischoff what the Hell he is doing there. Coachman whispers something in Vince's ear, and McMahon tells Eric he would never dare. Bischoff says that there's never been a better time. Bischoff says he'd invite Vince and Shane to the ring for his major announcement tonight, but he's certain Vince and Shane are afraid to get in a wrestling ring since DX almost paralysed them at Unforgiven. Paul Heyman appears on-screen. Apparently he was in the McMahons' limo with Big Show and his enforcers. Paul asks Vince if he wants Doug and Derrick to take care of Bishoff? Vince says that Eric can stay, Hell he can make his announcement. Vince already owns the rights to every positive creation of Eric Bischoff's, from the nWo to the Elimination Chamber. Vince, Shane and Paul head to their private lockerroom, as Coach looks uncomfortable around Eric, Bischoff just smiles and stares at Coachman. Jonathan eventually leaves.

Super Crazy defeats Chavo Guerrero to retain the WWE Intercontinental Championship. Chris Masters joins the commentary booth for this match. He doesn't say much (don't worry). Rey Mysterio eventually appears on stage with a horse, which he rides around like Pepe. JR, JBL and Joey Styles all make it seem like a modern insult, but the crowd will probably be mostly confused. It's enough to distact Chavo long enough for Super Crazy to make a comeback, and hit a Moonsault for the win. Chris Masters hits Super Crazy with a steel chair after the match, and puts him in The Masterlock, but Rey Mysterio hits a dropkick to Masters' back. Rey Mysterio and Super Crazy then hit a Double 619 on Masters.

In the back, Carlito says that he wants to be the one that ends Umaga's winning streak, but he hates Randy Orton so much, that he's probably going to spend most of his energy on him. Mr Kennedy then walks into Carlito's interview. Kennedy gloats about beating The Undertaker at No Mercy, and being the greatest United States Champion of all-time. Carlito says he saw Kennedy's "Kennedy Declares" video, and thought it was crap. Carlito says that Mr Kennedy is a coward. Super Crazy has the guts to defend the WWE Intercontinental Championship against a SmackDown! Superstar, Kennedy should do the same. Mr Kennedy says Carlito is right. He then says "Hey, you" to get Eugene's attention, and then beats him down to the ring. Kennedy dominates the match, and then finally climbs for the Kenton Bomb. The Undertaker's gong goes off, though. Kennedy begins to lose his balance, but then the lights go out, and the gong goes off again, this time The Undertaker is at ringside. Kennedy looks like he's seen a ghost, and falls off the top rope. Eugene covers, 1-2-3. JR has a fit as JBL basically cries at ringside. Joey Styles tries to get some order, and asks where the US Title is going to go. The Undertaker hits his finishing moves on Kennedy in the ring, as Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out to congradulate Eugene.

Next we get Montell Vontavious Porter beating Val Venis. I just think Venis deserves to be on this card.

Next we get Theodore Long and Jonathan Coachman arguing over who is going to get the US Title. Jonathan Coachman says Championships have always followed the wrestler, but Theodore Long says he never made the match official, and it was a RAW referee who made the count. Long says this isn't going to stand, he's going to see Mr McMahon about this.

DX makes their entrance, and we are now up to our World Tag Team Championship Match. The Spirit Squad make their entrance, and JBL calls them a bunch of "fruit bootys". It is announced Kenny and Mikey will be wrestling, but Kenny says that he's represented The Spirit Squad in World Tag Team Championship Matches too much. It's time for someone else to have a go. How about....Mitch? Nick Mitchell looks horrified, but gets tossed into the ring by Kenny, and he gets rights from both men. Kenny walks to the stage, Mikey follows, and the exchange words. Mitch doesn't have a partner, so Nicky, feeling confident after his win against Ric Flair the previous week, gets on the apron to team with Mitch. Johnny stays at ringside. Mitch actually plays the babyface role of being isolated in the match. Kenny and Mikey continue arguing, and Mikey slaps Kenny and then points to the ring. Kenny then knees Mikey in the gut, and throws him off the stage. That distracts the participants in the match long enough for Mitch to tag Nicky without Nicky, Triple H or Shawn even noticing it. Ric Flair is out, and he eye rakes Kenny, and takes him to the back. Johnny doesn't know what to do. He goes to help out Mikey. Triple H and Shawn Michaels eventually regain their composure, and tell Nicky to get in the ring. Nemeth is now horrified, but gets in the ring, and tries to recapture the intensity he had before. He charges Triple H with a clothesline, but Hunter ducks, and Nicky runs right into the Sweet Chin Music. Nicky bounces back into a Pedigree for the three. Triple H & Shawn Michaels are the new World Tag Team Champions.

We see Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch looking on in the lockerroom. They claim that they are going to be the next World Tag Team Champions. Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas don't like the sound of that. Nor do The Highlanders. Suddently, a Cryme Tyme video appears on the monitor. It advertises them as the future World Tag Team Champions, and says they'll be making their debut next week. Lance Cade destroys the monitor, and the three teams brawl, as Triple H and Shawn Michaels point at the titantron and just laugh. They advertise Eric Bischoff's announcement next. Triple H and Shawn Michaels decide to stick around for it.