Apparently, Rob Van Dam had hot boxed the entire arena. Jazz held Victoria up for a good puff, while the referee frantically fanned the smoke toward his face.
Victoria forcing Lita to shampoo her hair wasn't nearly as bad as Lita thought it would be, when Vic busted out the bottle of Herbal Essences.
Brock Lesnar proved that he would do anything to punish the internet moles, even go so far as to dress up as a woman.
Victoria does her best impression of Chyna realizing the WWE never had any intentions of giving her the world title.
Victoria would do anything for WWE gold, and in this case, Hunter judged it a fair trade for Victoria to bare the unholy, black "H" symbol on her chest.
The two-haded giant smiled and couldn't wait for HIS turn.
Orton picked the worst time to want to play a game of cops and robbers.
Bischoff: "But Vince, whatever you do, be careful with it. I usually don't do this but I understand you're a busy man, and want to leave Linda satisfied when you're on the road."
Vince: "So you really man this voodoo dick will just go off on its own and please my wife, by saying the command word, "voodoo dick," and directing it to the orafice she wants satisfied?"
Bischoff: "Yep."
Vince: "Thanks Eric, you're not so bad afterall."
Steve: "Voodoo dick my ass!"
Benoit had it all. He had a title run, he was going to be in the main event at Wrestlemania. He won the Royal Rumble at #1. He lasted the longest in the Royal Rumble ever. He was getting over with the fans. But Benoit was going to be buried. He knew he had no chance. There was only one thing left to do, to complete the circle.
Bite Shawn's ear.
Ric: It's a bird...
Dave: It's a plane...
Randy: It's Shawn Michaels's penis.
HHH: !!!!!!!!!!!!
Benoit could not believe that out of all people, him being one to train in Stu Hart's dungeon and master this trick along with Bret Hart, that Batista had played the most extensive o'possum ever in luring his opponents into thinking he only knew how to do spinebusters.
Triple H threw a fit, and remembered a previous conversation.
(20 minutes earlier)
Chris: Hunter, can I have the title at Wrestlemania?
Hunter: *Busts out laughing* The day you can balance yourself on your own penis, I will job you the World Title.
HHH:
Batista felt guilty seeing Benoit choke on Triple H's wad, and immediately performed anti-choking hazard maneuvers. He couldn't bare to see that happen to someone else.
Batista remembered back to HHH's pre-match pep-talk to him.
Hunter: "Just remember Dave, only tap out with your foot. No one will ever know."
RVD did his taunt, while a monkey in the stands went with the old, "Monkey see, monkey do."
Christian: Trish. Just. Please, give the captioneers a break. When you go out there this week, don't rest your hands on your knees and pose. Cleavage jokes are not good when stale.
Jim Ross was shocked, as his bastardized son confronted him with the DNA results. His son pleaded for him to go home, but JR responded like this:
(Darth Vader breathing sound) JR: It is... too late for me, my son. (revealing the WWE logo branded onto his neck) Take off my cowboy hat...
Foley: But... But you'll die. (eyes swelling up with tears)
JR: Nothing... canBAHGAWDWHATASTUNNERBYAUSTINTHEROCKISONDREAMSTREETWHATKINDOFHUMANBEINGISTHISMANBBQSAUCEUNPRETTIERG OVERNMENTMULETOUGHERTHANAWAFFLEHOUSESTEAKINALLMYYEARSINTHEBUSINESSMYGOODFRIENDSTEVEAUSTINHENEVERTAPP EDOUT... can stop that now.
Christian showed his support for "Final Fantasy X-2."
Trish felt as betrayed when Christian was forced to hold her down for the ref to pluck her chest hair.
The genetic jackhammer's sexlife was in dire straits. It was no secret that Vince was getting old, when his sight was far off enough to miss Stacy's poon by that much.
Stacy, in an attempt to invest new confidence in Vince, offered to compensate for his blindness by having her and another chick do all the work.
But when the light shone down on the fact that this was an undercover sexual harassment sting operation, Vince was embarassed.
Vince really hated going to the dentist, and did everything in his power to avoid it. Besides, if he lost his wisdom teeth, who would do all the good booking?
The authorities began to harass Vince into a confession, but the wily millionaire stood his ground and awaited his lawyer.
However, Vince was screwed when he realized his lawyer had 'hard' evidence of sodomy on tape called "Monday Night War". He knew there was no way to cover up the anal rape of the WCW.
And in the True Hollywood story, a dramatized reenactment of the scenerio took place. However, they could not afford an Austin look-alike and had to settle for the same cardboard cut-out of Austin they used in the previous shoot photo above this one.
Realizing neither one of them could put on a decent match, Vince and Bischoff exchanged a series of funny faces. However Vince had booked Jim Carrey to be in his corner for good heel heat.
Brock heard from Goldberg that Austin's shirt was calling everyone it came in contact with a "cock ear," and Lesnar retaliated rather brutally.
Vince's saying, "FINISH HIM," prompted Lesnar to F-5 Austin's head onto the WWE logo spike.
Vince: Fatality.
Brock: Steve... Don't go toward the light...
Steve: Uncle Bernie?
Brock: Steve... Come back. Don't go Steve...
Steve: Brian?
Brock: Steve! DON'T QUIT ON ME DAMNIT!
Steve: Brock's career?
Brock: ...