What? So, I'm only five days late with these...
After one of her projection cameras was badly damaged, her invisibility wore off, and conspiracy theorists throughout wrestling fandom were proven right. There WAS no Invisible Crucifix! It was Jazz all along!
VICTORIA: Stop! Doing! Your! DONKEY IMPRESSION!
LITA: Hee-HAW! Ee-YAW!
Lisa Varon's new "Brocktoria" gimmick didn't quite catch on. Neither did her "Here Comes The Pink" catchphrase.
But that didn't stop the WWE Booking Committee from slapping a belt on her.
STEVIE: Wait...if she's Brocktoria, what does that make me?
MUSIC: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeell...it's the Big Steve!
STEVIE: Oh, you're shitting me...
MUSIC: Yes, it's the big man's Steve toni-i-ight...
And in a massive swerve, the Big Steve declares himself the #1 contender with a huge body-and-leg Tazplex!
ORTON: Pull!
ERIC: Yeah, so I helped Steph fish this out of her--
STEVE: Yeeeeeees?
ERIC: Vince is right behind me again, isn't he?
CHRIS: Can you believe that loopydate's "Nope" thing has caught on as a running gag?
SHAWN: Nope.
CHRIS: NOT YOU, TOO!
SHAWN: Nope.
While the rest of Evolution watches the in-ring action intently, Ric's fiber intake catches up with him.
BATISTA: Psst, Chris. Austin promised me that I wouldn't get buried after he kicked my ass a couple of months back, and then I was. Do I have your assurance that if I job here, I'll get at least an Intercontinental Title run?
CHRIS: Sure thing, Dan.
BATISTA: Uh...
CHRIS: What the f--when did they install a Glass Wall?
Benoit was grateful that Dave caught him after that bastard Triple H wanted to "show him something in the rafters."
EARL: C-c-CORNBREAD, dammit!
CHRIS: Don't tell me they have you doing the Tourette's angle now?
EARL: ********MOTHER********MOTHER****!
RVD never could get that "Word Life" hand thing right.
CHRISTIAN: Okay. Now I'm going to blindfold you...
TRISH: Oh, no. I've fallen for THIS before!
CHRISTIAN: No, no. We're going to play "Pin the Tail on the Donkey."
TRISH: Oh. Well, I guess that's better than "Pin the Pickle Down Trish's Thr--"
CHRISTIAN: Or we could just watch TV or something.
JR: And you say this happened because you took Stacker 2 - Ephedra Free while you were drinking a YJ Stinger while playing Final Fantasy X-2?
MICK: Yeah. And I was wearing Lugz and listening to my JVC Tower of Power!
TRISH: No, I'm not going to trust you! President Bush says that "X"es are evil!
CHRISTIAN: No, he says there's an "Axis of Evil."
TRISH: What?
REF: Hey, let go!
CHRISTIAN: Are you kidding? This is the last time in my career Vince will ever let me be over a Diva!
VINCE: I think that table's missing a couple of le--oh, hi Stacy!
STACY: Now, Vince...
Squirt.
JACKIE: What was that?
JACKIE: Stace, I think the little squeak we heard came from back here...
VINCE: I'm Vince McMahon, dammit! Nobody rides my coattails!
KANE: I'm holding your collar.
VINCE: I'M VINCE MCMAHON, DAMMIT!
JR: My watch broke, King? Can you tell me what time it is?
KING: Well, apparently it's...oh...six years ago.
STEVE: Heh. We're taking time away from Matt Hardy...
STEVE: ...and Jindrak and Cade...
ERIC: *Gack!* Don't forget...Tommy Dreamer!
STEVE: Ooh, good one, Eric! And the Tag Team Champions!
BROCK: D-dri-drink b-beer? Drink beer? STEVE'S SHIRT SWORE!
BROCK: YOU'RE WEARING A BAD SHIRT, MISTER!
BROCK: F-fo-fock f-fe-fear? Io'ntgetit...