This is Mitch Foist back for a third week of OVW goodness straight from the Ohio Valley.
Normally I would talk about the week or something from the week, but I have writer’s block. I don’t want to talk about The Passion of the Christ because you’ve already all heard about it too much as it is. I have nothing to talk about this week in wrestling either. So, I will allow you to get into the column with the knowledge that any creativity I’ve had in the past reports is absent here. Let’s just chalk this one up to ‘honing my style.’
Also, I cannot stress this enough: send feedback. If you think I suck, tell me. If you like my stuff, tell me. If you could care less about OVW, tell me. I just want human contact. Or a hooker. A hot hooker.
LAST WEEK:
It turns out OVW wasn’t just screwing with us and Edge really did hurt his ankle.
Nick Dinsmore defeated Seth Skyfire in a non-title match.
Adrenaline were given WWE Developmental contracts.
John Hennigan was fined $1,000 and suspended for 10 days.
Ivory challenged Jillian Hall for March Mayhem.
Inspector Impact and John Lauranitis vs. Sean O’Haire and Matt Morgan was made for March Mayhem.
THIS WEEK:
YOUR Commentators: Jim Cornette and Dean Hill.
YOUR Venue: The Davis Arena.
YOUR Recapper: Livin’ on blues power.
Kenny Bolin joins Cornette and Hill at the announce position.
Match 1: Adrenaline defeated Da Beast and Carlos Colon (w/ Kenny Bolin) when Carlos Colon attempted to use Bolin’s briefcase.
Notable Spots: Not really any.
Rating: **1/2 good formula stuff that I enjoyed up until the end.
Commercial.
There is a March Mayhem rundown that lasts a good 15-20 minutes.
Matt Cappoteli (w/ neck brace) comes to the ring for an interview with Jim Cornette. Cappoteli says that Hennigan lives in a fantasy world. He stares at himself in the mirror and even has stupid nicknames for himself. I bet one of those nicknames is Big Shooter. I don’t know why. Just feels right. Jim Cornette says that Hennigan can’t get married because he’s only in love with himself. I hear he can do that in San Francisco. Cappoteli says that he will challenge John Hennigan when his neck gets better. Hennigan (w/ red leather jacket and amplified heel dance) joins us in the ring. He says from now on, he wants to be called JOHNNY SUPERSTAR. He for no reason freaked out as he said that. Cappoteli is held back by some officials in an attempt to get to Hennigan. Hennigan says he wants to fight him next week. Cornette says he can’t and is injured, but Hennigan slaps Cappoteli for incentive. Cornette makes the match for next week.
Commercial.
Match 2: Seth Skyfire defeated Mark Magnus (w/ Nikita) when Nikita tries to give Magnus a foreign object and Alexis Laree jumps her. Magnus went to get the object and was rolled up by Skyfire. WOOO. Afterwards, Max Impact runs in and they beat down Skyfire. Standing Thunder runs in and drives them out with a steel chair while Nikita attacks Laree.
Notable Spots: This whole match was awesome. Skyfire was hitting his high flying and speedy stuff and Magnus kept trying to take him down with submissions that worked his head, which also would help his finishing move, The Finishing Touch (reverse Eye of the Hurricane).
Match Rating: ****1/2 Great stuff.
Commercial.
A video profile of Handsome Jimmy Valliant’s career is shown. Throughout it Jerry Lawler calls Jimmy a fag and a queer, Valliant assaults a black guy and breaks his TV, Valliant makes fun of a Mexican, KO’s an old lady, and when he cuts a promo he sounds retarded. Are they trying to offend people?
Commercial.
Match 3: Johnny Jeter defeated Max Impact when all the Team Players assaulted Johnny Jeter. Then Adrenaline ran in for the save. Then Standing Thunder ran in to help. Then Alexis Laree attacks Nikita. Then O’Haire ran in and cleared some of the ring. Then the entire locker room empties and there is a huge brawl to end the show.
Notable Spots: The huge brawl.
Match Rating: there was no match, but *** for the brawl.
NEXT WEEK:
OVW March Mayhem, a 2 hour spectacular.
You can see the entire OVW roster’s bios, see match results, see tour dates, and buy OVW tapes on
www.ovwrestling.com