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**loopydate** · 12-15-2003, 09:08 PM

Okay, I got more...

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!

[A rock flies through Mr. Burns' office window]
Mr. Burns: Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.

Bart: Oh my God! The dead have risen and are voting Republican!

Kang: We must move forward... not backwards, not to the side, not forwards, but always whirling, whirling, whirling towards freedom!

Maude Flanders: They were having S-E-X in front of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!

Barney: [during his acceptance speech] I've learned that I have a gift to share with the world. From now on, I'll be a new Barnard Gumbel; Clean, sober, and hardworking.
Mayor Quimby: Congratulations, Barney, and enjoy your prize - a lifetime supply of Duff Beer.
Barney: Just stick it in my veins!

Marge: C'mon, Homer, Japan will be fun. You like Rashoman.
Homer: That's not how I remember it.

Comic Book Guy: Yes, I would like to return your quote-unquote *ultimate* belt.
Clerk: I see. Do you a receipt, quote-unquote sir?
Comic Book Guy: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at a Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no need of a medium-size belt.
Clerk: Wow, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies... gee, I hate to let you down, Casanova, but no receipt, no return.
Bart: I'll give you four bucks for it.
Comic Book Guy: Very well. I must get back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than receive them.

Drill Sergeant: Look soldier, you don't like me, and I don't like you.
Homer: I like you.
Drill Sergeant: Well, I don't like you.
Homer: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me better.

Homer: Two hours? Why'd they build this ghost town so far away?
Lisa: Because they discovered gold right over there!
Homer: It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything.

Ralph Wiggum: Me fail English? That's unpossible!

Newspaper editor: We're looking for a new food critic, someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh everything he eats.
Homer: Nah, it usually takes a few hours.

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! That just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Sorry, Moe, gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening.

[gunshot, Flanders is knocked down]
Ned Flanders: Whew, good thing I always keep a Bible next to my...
[second gunshot, Flanders is knocked down again]
Ned Flanders: Whew, luckily I was wearing an extra large piece of the True Cross today. Uh, I'm going home now.
[as he runs off, a third gunshot spins the head of Homer's pickaxe]
Homer: What keeps doing that?
Fat Tony: I told you we should have bought more than three bullets.

[In the car on the way to Florida]
Lisa: Mom, Bart's sitting next to me!
Bart: Mom, Lisa's growing!
Marge: Quiet, you two! You know your father's just had a breakdown.
Homer: My pockets hurt.

[Homer and his band are performing a 4th of July concert in New York City]
Homer: This next song is dedicated to a very special lady. She's 100 years old and weighs over 200... tons.
Fan: This enormous lady will devour us all.
[Screams and jumps into the ocean]

Marge: You awful, awful man! Stay away from my son!
Sideshow Bob: [menacing] I'll stay away. Stay away... FOREVER!
Homer: Oh, no!
Sideshow Bob: Wait. That's no good.
[walks away, then runs back]
Sideshow Bob: I've got a good one now. Marge, say "stay away from my son" again!
Marge: No!

Lionel Hutz: And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.

Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there.
[Marge scrapes it off the ceiling into Homer's hands]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but...
[bites]
Homer: Mmm, sacrilicious.

12-15-2003, 09:08 PM	#38
loopydate FIT Challenge Slag People Posts: 13,816	Okay, I got more... Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal! Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive? Marge: That's because you were drunk! Homer: And how! [A rock flies through Mr. Burns' office window] Mr. Burns: Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction. Bart: Oh my God! The dead have risen and are voting Republican! Kang: We must move forward... not backwards, not to the side, not forwards, but always whirling, whirling, whirling towards freedom! Maude Flanders: They were having S-E-X in front of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N! Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down! Barney: [during his acceptance speech] I've learned that I have a gift to share with the world. From now on, I'll be a new Barnard Gumbel; Clean, sober, and hardworking. Mayor Quimby: Congratulations, Barney, and enjoy your prize - a lifetime supply of Duff Beer. Barney: Just stick it in my veins! Marge: C'mon, Homer, Japan will be fun. You like Rashoman. Homer: That's not how I remember it. Comic Book Guy: Yes, I would like to return your quote-unquote ultimate belt. Clerk: I see. Do you a receipt, quote-unquote sir? Comic Book Guy: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at a Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no need of a medium-size belt. Clerk: Wow, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies... gee, I hate to let you down, Casanova, but no receipt, no return. Bart: I'll give you four bucks for it. Comic Book Guy: Very well. I must get back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than receive them. Drill Sergeant: Look soldier, you don't like me, and I don't like you. Homer: I like you. Drill Sergeant: Well, I don't like you. Homer: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me better. Homer: Two hours? Why'd they build this ghost town so far away? Lisa: Because they discovered gold right over there! Homer: It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything. Ralph Wiggum: Me fail English? That's unpossible! Newspaper editor: We're looking for a new food critic, someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh everything he eats. Homer: Nah, it usually takes a few hours. Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! That just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! Marge: Homer! Homer: Sorry, Moe, gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening. [gunshot, Flanders is knocked down] Ned Flanders: Whew, good thing I always keep a Bible next to my... [second gunshot, Flanders is knocked down again] Ned Flanders: Whew, luckily I was wearing an extra large piece of the True Cross today. Uh, I'm going home now. [as he runs off, a third gunshot spins the head of Homer's pickaxe] Homer: What keeps doing that? Fat Tony: I told you we should have bought more than three bullets. [In the car on the way to Florida] Lisa: Mom, Bart's sitting next to me! Bart: Mom, Lisa's growing! Marge: Quiet, you two! You know your father's just had a breakdown. Homer: My pockets hurt. [Homer and his band are performing a 4th of July concert in New York City] Homer: This next song is dedicated to a very special lady. She's 100 years old and weighs over 200... tons. Fan: This enormous lady will devour us all. [Screams and jumps into the ocean] Marge: You awful, awful man! Stay away from my son! Sideshow Bob: [menacing] I'll stay away. Stay away... FOREVER! Homer: Oh, no! Sideshow Bob: Wait. That's no good. [walks away, then runs back] Sideshow Bob: I've got a good one now. Marge, say "stay away from my son" again! Marge: No! Lionel Hutz: And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer. Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. [Marge scrapes it off the ceiling into Homer's hands] Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but... [bites] Homer: Mmm, sacrilicious.