Okay, I think it's time to show you boys how it's done!
(now watch all of mine suck)
Austin: And that's why I think Steven Richards is an idiot, a jerk, and needs to be fired!
....
He's standing right behind me, isn't he?
(sorry, Santo. Couldn't resist.)
On a side note, I'm only 1 caption in and I'm already ripping off someone else. This can't be a good sign.
Austin stopped dead in the middle of his promo as the laser beam shot past him. Apparently, those Imperial Stormtroopers had finally caught up with him for that maneuver he'd pulled back in Mos Eisley.
You really have to question the ethics of a man who can't even cut a promo without hellfire shooting up behind him.
Austin reveals himself to be "Willy the Worker" by making every internet smark's dreams come true.
I must say, Rico's certainly gotten a lot hotter than the last time I saw him.
The argument between Molly and Jazz was just a diversion for Richards to try and sneak attack Hebner, diving at him from the turnbuckle. Unfortunately, Earl was too wise of a veteran ref to fall for it, and took Richards down with a vicious midair eye-poke.
Molly: so anyways, that's why I really appreciate this title feud.
Austin: No problem. A girl like you deserves only the very breast--err,
Molly:What??
Austin: Nothing, I was just saying that even though you're a heel, I'd much rather cheer you than try and boob--I mean
Molly: Hey!!!
Austin: What I meant to say was that you're one of the best women in the WWE, and the fact that you haven't been pushed iis a real titty--umm, I mean, ummm---CLEAVAGE! No, I mean
Molly:*smack*
Much like certain species of turtle, the North American Jobber can often pull its head deep within its shell to avoid danger or de-pushing.
Cade: I said, spit out that gum! SPIT IT OUT!
Cade did his damndest to cover up the blown spot, but deep down, he'd known from the start that Rosey trying a flying headscissors was a bad idea.
Much to the disgust of fans everywhere, a sudden gust of wind reveals Jckie's horrible, horrible secret.
That Hugh Jackman....Such a charmer. Even if he does have a stupid costume, I still--oh, that's Rico. Nevermind.
Rico bravely protected the girls from the Coming of Satan unto the world. Despite the mind-numbing horror of coming face to face with the incarnation of evil itself, he couldn't help but be surprised the Evolution song wasn't playing.
Kane's induction to the Blue Man Group wasn't exactly the best. Still, it was better than that stint in Cirque du Soleil.
With WCW and ECW gone, Vince needed another group to have a god inter-promotional feud. With that, the Ku Klux Klan InVasion was on!!!
HBK: Look, Bret, I know you're probably still upset about the whole--
Benoit: My name's not Bret. It's Chris.
HBK: Oh! Well, I like the new hair color! Looks better than when I beat you last year!
Benoit: Wrong Chris.
HBK: Jeez, how many of you guys are there?!
Benoit: Dammit, Dave! I'm asking you one more time! LET GO OF MY CROTCH!
Batista: Mmmmph phmmmmph mmmfph mmmm!
In one of the most stunning reversals of all time, Batista managed to escape the Crossface, hoist Benoit into the air, and give him a Chokeslam that knocked him out cold. All without the hand
ever leaving Benoit's crotch!
The submission was painful enough, but what really did Benoit in was that Randy had taped next month's scripts onto his palms.
Shawn only looks on in dismay as Benoit completely botches the West Coast Pop.
HBK: Man, how in the hell did you ever become the internet fanboys' darling?
HBK and HHH decide to actually live up to their claim of being backstage leaders, and begin showing live instructions on "How to Get a Push."
Dave was depressed that all the attention was going to Hunter and Benoit, and nobody wanted to see him do the Baby Elephant Walk anymore.
Booker, Rob, and Matt's three-man trapeze act ends in tragedy.
It became a little too obvious that Booker was paying the ref to give him the win. I mean, they just couldn't stop high-fiving each other during the damn match.
Mick knew he could easily take Orton, Flair, and maybe even Batista, but with Larry the cameraman joining Evolution's ranks, he was starting to get a little worried.
Rocky wasn't fooling anyone with his disguise. Everyone knew he wasn't the real Goldberg.
The Rock debuts his new gimmick, the People's Point-Out-the-Only-Reason-Randy-Orton-has-any-Heat-er.
Mick: Hey, Rock, who's that guy over there selling the cotton candy?
Rock: Where? I don't see him.
Mick: Right over there, the one with the crazy-looking mask.
Rock: Oh, I see him now. Damn, what the hell has been going on since the last time I was here?
The Rock just couldn't Lay the Smackdown like he used to, after that horrible accident in wood shop.