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Originally Posted by El Santo
As the crowd settles in for the final match, the anticipation escalates. The "Stupid N00b" faction, once thought dead, has pulled together a few shocking upsets.
Earlier in the evening, STONECOLDSTUNNERS incomprehensibly won the Intercontinental Title. Afterwards, the tag team of DARK_KANE and ELEMENTS picked up the Tag Team Title after a run-in from TRIPLE H --- who was shockingly revealed to be their MENTOR, their SECRETLY ADOPTED STEPFATHER, and their PERSONAL SAVIOR.
The last match, the defending World Heavyweight Champion CORKSCREWED vs. EL SANTO, no one expects El Santo to actually win. He has, after all, been out of action the previous week due to a bout of FLU, which has been declared an EPIDEMIC in FIFTY STATES; and, in the meantime, he's been FILMING. Filming his dog Woofy, that is. And by "dog", I mean "pet rock".
But, as Corkscrewed waits in the ring, a tanker truck crashes through the entranceway, with El Santo driving!
El Santo: "Surrender to El Mascarada de Plata!"
Corkscrewed: "NEVAAARRRRR!!!"
About fifteen minutes pass as El Santo hooks a novelty-sized fire hose to the tanker nozzle. During this time, Corkscrewed could have a) run out of the ring, or b) attacked El Santo, but in true WWE fashion, just stands around, looking on confusedly.
And, suddenly, El Santo sprays him, full force, with a few hundred gallons of SALSA! Then tops it off with SOUR CREAM, CHIVES, and FRESHLY GROUND BLACK PEPPER. As Corkscrewed lays on the ground, El Santo proceeds to TOP IT OFF with CILANTRO.
He then pins Corkscrewed for the three count. The "Stupid N00bs" capture all the belts! The "Stupid N00bs" capture all the belts!
Meanwhile, the WWE saves money by hiring mollusks as writers.
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J.R. "OMG, Look King.....Out of the crowd, it's Loose Cannon with a chair.
King, "Someone stop that Captioning Psychopath"
Cannon gets into the ring and takes out El Santo with a chair shot as Santo is holding up the World Title. He then picks up the title and smashes it right into El Santo's face. Cannon rolls out of the ring, jumps the barrier and runs through the crowd with the title.
King, "Someone call the cops, he's a thief."
J.R., "What a night, Corkscrewed was defeated by Stupid NOOB member, El Santo, for the World Title, then iout of nowhere Loose Cannon attacks Santo and takes off with HIS World Title. BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD, King"
"What will happen next"
