[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by El Santo As the crowd settles in for the final match, the anticipation escalates. The "Stupid N00b" faction, once thought dead, has pulled together a few shocking upsets. Earlier in the evening, STONECOLDSTUNNERS incomprehensibly won the Intercontinental Title. Afterwards, the tag team of DARK_KANE and ELEMENTS picked up the Tag Team Title after a run-in from TRIPLE H --- who was shockingly revealed to be their MENTOR, their SECRETLY ADOPTED STEPFATHER, and their PERSONAL SAVIOR. The last match, the defending World Heavyweight Champion CORKSCREWED vs. EL SANTO, no one expects El Santo to actually win. He has, after all, been out of action the previous week due to a bout of FLU, which has been declared an EPIDEMIC in FIFTY STATES; and, in the meantime, he's been FILMING. Filming his dog Woofy, that is. And by "dog", I mean "pet rock". But, as Corkscrewed waits in the ring, a tanker truck crashes through the entranceway, with El Santo driving! El Santo: "Surrender to El Mascarada de Plata!" Corkscrewed: "NEVAAARRRRR!!!" About fifteen minutes pass as El Santo hooks a novelty-sized fire hose to the tanker nozzle. During this time, Corkscrewed could have a) run out of the ring, or b) attacked El Santo, but in true WWE fashion, just stands around, looking on confusedly. And, suddenly, El Santo sprays him, full force, with a few hundred gallons of SALSA! Then tops it off with SOUR CREAM, CHIVES, and FRESHLY GROUND BLACK PEPPER. As Corkscrewed lays on the ground, El Santo proceeds to TOP IT OFF with CILANTRO. He then pins Corkscrewed for the three count. The "Stupid N00bs" capture all the belts! The "Stupid N00bs" capture all the belts! Meanwhile, the WWE saves money by hiring mollusks as writers.

JR: "Baw gawd, Corkscrewed's buried alive!! I can't believe it! I can't believe it!!!! He's dead! He's dead! He's dead!"

Fade out.

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Several months later, the next time the WWE is at the same arena, El Santo is in the middle of the ring giving a promo.

El Santo: "And the STUPID NOOB faction will live fore--"

Suddenly, the ring splits open as a mound of sour cream and salsa splurts out from under the ring through the opening. A hand suddenly shoots out. El Santo looks on in horror.

El Santo: "No! NO! It can't be!"

Corkscrewed, rising up from the mess smelling like nachos, emerges from the spicy mess and grabs the mic as El Santo backs away in a near frozen manner.

Corkscrewed: "You cannot kill... that which is already dead."

Corkscrewed grabs El Santo's throat and chokeslams him into the sour cream and salsa, burying him within the red and white pasty mess. He then takes a match, lights it, and throws it into the mound, which promptly explodes into flames.

JR: "Baw gawd, El Santo's buried alive!! I can't believe it! I can't believe it!!!! He's dead! He's dead! He's dead!"

Fade out.