Kane unveils his bold new gimmick after the end of the Undertaker feud: Citizen Kane.
Kane regretted buying the milk before first checking out the freshness date.
Kane-fact: Glenn Jacobs is also a door-to-door Filler Brush salesman.
"My God, it's the Undert-... Um... MY GOD, IT'S THE UNDERT-... er, sorry about this folks... just, uh, give me a second here... hey, JR, how did we replace the batteries in this thing the last time? Do I have to unscrew the top or what?"
"... at your local Lincoln-Mercury dealer! $3000 rebate OR 0% interest for 60 months on your favorite Lincoln-Mercury luxury cars and SUVs!"
Never again would Dupree mix his colored laundry with his white undies.
Thanks to new contract negotiations, Rob could now take five minute coffee breaks in the middle of every match.
Ref: "Dammit, if you boys don't stop behaving like two starving dogs, that NEITHER of you is gettin' that Snickers bar!"
HHH (on the phone): "Hey, I'm in a good mood right now. What's up?"
Chris: "Trips! I've been wondering... I've been stuck in the midcard for a while now, and I think it's about time that..."
HHH: "Just kidding! This is a voice recording. Leave a message after the beep."
Chris: "DAMMIT! WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL FOR THAT?"
Rob "Roman Emperor" Van Dam gives his assessment of the Lions vs. Christian Prisoners match.
Batista: "Oh my God... my only weakness... the color GREEN!"
Matt Hardy, ever an anti-smoking advocate, tries desperately to snip off Benoit's cigarette before his lungs are destroyed FOREVER.
Though he thought Mister Benoit to be the most incorrigible and boastful man that he had ever met, Shawn would still favor him a dance. But only one dance! The afterwards, he should hope never to see that prideful, arrogant man ever again!
Benoit shows the awful price he paid to get a main event push.
HBK: "Sweet Jesus... ALL your teeth?"
Molly: "C'mon, do it."
Lita: "No, I don't feel like it..."
Molly: "...........................I love the subs... The subs are good to us..."
Lita: "Nggg... nggggggg.... EAT QUIZNO SUBS!!!"
After Lita's shorts ripped down the middle, she had to do anything in her power to cover up.
Tensions in the arena rose as Molly, the ref, and the fans started flicking each other off.
Everybody loved Victoria's Senor Wences routine.
Oh, c'mon, Steve. It's bad enough you've got a nasty tumor growing out of your hand. Don't poke at it.
Steven knew he had the match won after he'd bribed Hebner with an invisible newspaper and an invisible Japanese toilet.
Jericho was thrilled to bring home the Heisman, but he grumbled that the trophies were needlessly large this year.
Stacy: "Screw wrestling! From now on, babe, it's BROADWAY!"
"The Rock is happy to be back in the WWE, but... when the Champ's using the People's Urinal, The Rock would like a little privacy, if you smell what the Rock's cookin'."
The Rock introduces Mick to a rainbow of fruit flavors!
Mick was impressed by JR's sex change. Rock, a little less so.
As Estelle Getty called for the aid of Rue McClanahan and Betty White, Rock knew that this was going to be one weird-ass 3-on-2 match.
Mick one-ups Victoria with his bitchin' "Senor Satan" routine.
Snuka: "French toast and eggs, please."
Mick: "Uh, Jimmy..... We're in the middle of a promo."
Rock: "I told you ma'am.... He's SAMOAN."
Lady: "That's nice. So is he Chinese or Japanese?"
Man: "You've both been wonderful ballet dancers, but I'm afraid there's only room for one Swan Princess."
Mick was usually a mellow guy, but when the WWE books Gilbert Gottfried, it was more than he could take.
Rock: "Hmmmm... when WAS the last time I've had this ass wiped?"
Vince always dreamed of an angle where he could moon the audience, but, until now, he hadn't figured out how moon everyone at the same time. Witness ... the quadruple moon.
Batista: "Oh my God, my only weakness... the color BLACK!"
JR: "Let's face it, King. Batista's weakness is everything."
"This is E! Entertainment with The Rock, whom many industry pundits believe is the next Arnold Shwartzenegger... the next Arnold Shwartzenegger... the next Arnold Shwartzeneggerrrr..."
Rock: "... Oh my God! It was all a dream!" *sobs*
"... and I starred opposite Brendan Fraser, and Christopher Walken, and Kelly Hu... damn she was fine..."
It was a glorious, magical day when Foley developed the power of flight.
"We're meeeeeen.... we're men in tiiiiights.... We rob from the rich, and give to the poor, THAT'S RIGHT!"