The Doctor of Thuganomics was apparently also a doctor of "Augmenting Surgery." However, Cena was so drunk when he did the procedure that he still wasn't sure if he wanted you to "see this."
Rhyno: WTF are you doing...
Cena: Sorry Rhyno. Standard procedure that we take at least ten seconds of former ECW champions lying on their back between each move.
Heyman: What have you done!? Why did you trim your beard and your hair!?
Noble: Huh?
Heyman: God damnit Raven. SmackDown! needed a guy with a goatee and long hair!
Noble: But I'm n...
Heyman: WHAT ABOUT HEYMAN?
The debut of Rey Rey the Jet Plane was met with skepticism.
Rey: Ugh! Do you know how hard it is to sell when your arm is going through an interdemensional portal?
Ref: What are you doing dude?
Tajiri: And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YEEEEEEE-EYEEEEEEEEEE, RIRR ARRAYS, ROVE ROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, RIRR ARRAYS ROVE ROU-OO-OO-OO-OO! AND I...
Ultimo: ? (Doesn't understand Tajiri)
Kidman: Wonder what's wrong with Tajiri...
Ultimo: (Shrug)
Kidman: Must have eaten one of RVD's "I'm coming to SmackDown! and I love you all" brownies...
Ultimo: (Nods...) (
)
Funaki was getting frustrated selling for a guy whom he thought was always laughing at his opponents in his matches.
Jamie "The Cloak" Noble would never learn not to try the frog splash on someone who knows about his powers.
Eddie: So then I says to him... "My name's Kunta Kinte you white fag!"
Eddie: And then, I hit him w... Ah shit.
Kurt told WWE officials this Teusday before tapings that Wrestlemania would be his last appearance in the WWE, and that he was off to persue a career in the Olympics as a wrestler. He had thanked everyone for teaching him how to punch and kick and do stunners, and that his opponents would be no match for him with his new WWE training.
Benjamin: Please tell me they did not go through with that "Latino Warrior" gimmick.
Eddie: Cinco vez, cinco vez, cinco vez, cinco vez, cinco vez!
Benjamin: Thank God.
That was typical of Zack Morris. Whenever he was losing a match, he had to stop time and brood about it.
Ref: (Whispering) Well hurry the fuck up, we're running out of jabronis to feed Big Show and he sure is hungry...!
Vince: You should have told him we were feeding him "jobbers!" Big Show is dumb enough to think jabroni is some Italian dish!
Guy: Hey Show, wanna play guess who?
Show: Sorry... I can't see, I'm blind... May I...
Guy: Sure. (Stepping forward)
Show: Wow, I can tell you're not Brock Lesnar or Kurt Angle. Hmm...
You are... THEWEAKESTLINK!
Scotty: Rikishi, after seeing The Rock and Foley on RAW, I came up with an idea...
Rikishi: Aw man, you shouldn't have.
Scotty: No, no... (Smile) Rikishi, this is your life! Roll the footage!
(A giant "M" appears on the Tron.) "I'm lovin' it..."
Steven Richards with a Bronco Buster out of nowhere!
Basham: Right hand.. red!
Ref: Left foot.. blue!
Scotty: Right hand.. fat!
The random lottery drawing to see who was next to be buried by Triple H was beginning.
(Since there will be alot of HHH captions here, if there aren't already {I don't read captions before I do them...} I came up with another one.)
Heyman delivered the blow to his roster on SmackDown! that there would be lay-offs, due to Triple H's pay increase, and so formed the welfare line... (damnit, this caption just has to be about Triple H, sorry.)
Show: Lesnar, I really think you're a gimp after all the help I gave you for leaving to try for the NFL...
Lesnar: Sorry Show... I'm just not happy here.
Show: Aw shucks, it's okay. Hey. Think the NFL could use a big guy like me?
Lesnar: Of course! (Lesnar: Yeah, they could make footballs out of your skin you fat fuck.)
------This is gonna be an entire set, like the Kunta Kinte one.------
Rikishi: Man, I hate going to the DMV... Shit takes forever and the seats make my butt sweat.
Hardcore: Yeah, I hate it too. All these sixteen and eighteen year old punks ahead of the line in front of me who haven't even paid their road dues.
Gunn: I don't think so, pal. You're not cutting in line, we've been here for like five hours waiting already.
Austin: FIVE HOURS? LISTEN TO ME. I've been to the DMV about 20 times, having to wait NO LESS THAN 9 hours each time. This will NOT take long, they will recognize me here already. I have some pretty big ties here so you better just get the hell out of my way now.
Big Show: No, Austin. You are NOT getting in line in front of me. You may have been able to scare that pussy Billy Gunn, but I am 500 pounds of liscence-wanting beast.
Austin: You fat sonofabitch! You better move your ass out of the way. Stone Cold DOES have a HAZMAT liscence, and will tow your fat ass and dump you off in the Baltimore Aquarium.
Austin: Jeez. Finally got it back. Time to hit the highway and raise some hell!
DMV guy: I don't wanna see you back here again Austin.
Austin: Yeah yeah.
(Two weeks later)
Two weeks later, Austin was charged with another DWI.
Alright you little fucks, move it! Five hours? Please! I've been here about 21 times now, and...
------End of set------
Lesnar's reaction to Austin asking him if being speared by Goldberg inspired him to join the NFL.
Lesnar's reaction to Angle asking Brock if the NFL would feed him the entire locker room and give him a year with the Heisman (sp) Trophy.
Lesnar's reaction to 'Taker saying this: Vanahl nathrach, do h'iel d'ien ve...