[Evil Vito]

Well, I have nothing to do at the moment, so I'm going to try captions for the whole show. Go easy on me, it's my first time doing a whole show. Also, I haven't read the other captions yet, so if I end up copying anyone else's caption, I apologize:


Cena assumes the "Stephanie McMahon Position".


As Cena tried to remove the small piece of paper that had somehow been superglued to his throat, Rhyno noticed that his plan was a success, and seconds later he rolled up Cena for the surprise victory.


Heyman was such a cruel prankster. He informed Noble that he would be receiving a WWE Title push, and then seconds later Noble wet himself in excitement...right in front of all the boys.


Super Rey held up the falling ceiling so that everyone in the arena could vacate. (When in doubt, stick with the classics).


Seconds after this picture was taken, Noble completely pulled off Rey Mysterio's arm.

Ring Announcer (off screen): Jamie Noble wins..............FATALITY.


Tajiri prayed to the HHH God, and seconds later every member of the opposing team experienced the Hold Down Aura and they all ended up flat on their backs.


Funaki wanted a refund. The new Akio Chair he bought malfunctioned.


Rey tried to turn the move into the Sunset Flip, but he couldn't seem to separate himself from Noble. Rhyno strikes again...


Eddie is a true champ. Right in the middle of the promo he posed with the Illegal Immigrant Title for a fan.


Angle had arrived with a fake tan for one reason and one reason only: He was trying to appear more Hispanic so he could receive a shot at the Illegal Immigrant Title.


Shelton Benjamin makes a jump from heel to super-heel when he announces that he was really a slave from Africa, ready to get revenge on the world by winning the Illegal Immigrant Title.


After Tajiri prayed to the HHH God, Haas attempted to make a cross to ward off the evil spirits.


Big Show would be damned if he was gonna allow the crane to take him, so he grabbed the lowly jobber and sacrificed him instead.


Big Show suddenly came to the realization that he shit his pants.


Big Show was pissed. You'd be pissed too if the entire crowd was mocking you for shitting your pants in mid-match.


The attempted rip-off of the Billy and Chuck storyline was not met with much optimism.


Rikishi was a genius! Who else would've known that playing his own DVD, "Best of Rikishi" would've rendered Basham asleep so that he could get the easy pinfall victory?


The damn ref screwed everything up. If he had just moved his hand in between Rikishi and Scotty's, they would've successfully formed a new stable, The Bridge Brigade!


The second People Who Have Jobbed to A-Train Convention was a much bigger success than the first.


The ATV had successfully passed the WWE Auto Safety Test by crashing into the Big Show and coming out unschaved.


Everyone knew that the WWE horror movie was gonna be bad, but "Night of the Zombie Wrestlers" took the cake as worst horror movie of all time.


Austin, who obviously hadn't been following the Smackdown storylines, was shocked to see that Billy and Chuck had turned straight.


Gunn looked through the mirror of time:

Gunn: I'm going to look like THAT in 10 years? Oh God no.....


Big Show would be damned if Austin was going to steal his Patriotic Chocolate Belt.


Seconds later...HGA had made it's way back into the WWE.


Try as he might, Brock couldn't convince the Undertaker to raise the ring to protect him from Austin.


Austin took his ATV after it passed the WWE Auto Safety Test. Up next was the Hurri-Mobile...


Brock: Screw this Paul, I'm jumping.
Heyman: NO BROCK! Don't jump! You're too young!


Brock was back from his visit to the hot dog stand.


Austin: Hey you, yeah you, watching Smackdown, YOU'RE A HOMO! (Had to go with the classic)


As Austin drank what he believed to be beer that he stole from HHH's dressing room, he couldn't help but think, "Why does this beer taste so damn salty?"