Cena found a new necklace, that was bigger and more gaudy than any chain or pendant he could ever find. Too bad it wasn't platinum.
(Backstage before the match)
RVD: Just try it Book... Would Rob, Van, Dam, steer you wrong?
Booker T: I guess not sucka.
(15 minutes later)
Booker: Yo, RVD man, what is this shit we just smoked... I'm hallucinatin'... I feel like we just won titles at Wrestlemania.
RVD: This is the greatest thing on the planet... My personal homegrown laced with Evolution Kool-Aid, dude...
And just then, the referee did the most enthusiastic, powerful, "you're a homo" fingerpoint in history.
Christian: Jericho, chill man! This isn't real!
Jericho: No fair! WAHHHHH! I'm TELLING!
Trish: *Laughing*
Jericho: What's so funny you little backstabber!?
Trish: Chris, this is all staged! Christian just showed me this was all acting and everything has been on camera the whole time!
Jericho: ...And your feelings for me?
Trish: Erm...
Jericho:
Foley: Rock, I'm getting pinned, beam me up!
Rock: Damn, The Rock missed!
Ref: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Man was the ref pissed. Torrie went and got the match changed without everyone's consent, costing the ref about three good looks at her nipples. ELBOW DROP!
Here is your winner, and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Shannon, Moore!
After Rey put the ring to sleep by rapping, Chavo took advantage.
Rey: I run around in a paranoid stupa', trying to find the guy who took my chalupa.
Chavo: Rey, what the hell are you talking about?
Rey: I gotta figure out how many tacos to order, to move ahead I gotta run for the border.
Chavo: ...Save me daddy...
Goldberg: Sorry Brock, I gotta do it!
Brock: ?
Goldberg: I will be the only NFL player in history not to be buried in the WWE, hahahaha!
Basham: Sit on my face and tell me lies...
Rikishi: *Sits on his face* I only weigh 150 pounds. *Farts*
Ref: *Gets blasted back*
or
Rikishi unleases his new finisher, the powerbum.
After the US Marines and MP's showed up to collect their AWOL soldier, Vince could not afford to lose Orton at such a key moment. So it was up to Molly to take one for the team.
Eddie: Harder! Don't be a pussy!
Angle: *TWIST*
Eddie: ARGH! HARDER YOU LITTLE GIRL!
Angle: Now THAT does it! *TWISTWISTWISTWIST!*
Eddie: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KEEP GOING!
Angle: I'm trying Eddie, but these damn shoes won't come off!
Eddie: That puta Rhyno!
Since there was no way to kick out of the tombstone, Kane gave the 'Taker a 'zerbet' in an attempt to make him giggle out of the pin.
Benoit: TAP OUT TRIPLE H!
Triple H: NEVER! Why in the HELL would I job the gold to you cleanly at Mania and sell that weak move!? I AM THE GAME!
Benoit: Look Triple H. A spider on the mat right under your right hand!
Triple H: OMG KILL IT! KILL IT! I AM AFRAID OF SPIDERS! (Pounding the mat profusely)
Benoit: Sucker...
Chavo was too sore to accept his invitation to the Showcase of the Immigrants.