It's only the first matchup of the card, but all the trademark signs were there. The charismatic up-and-coming young challenger, ready to give his all to win his first gold. The unstoppable monster of a champion, ready to give his opponent the fight of his life. The disturbingly effeminate Neo-Nazi referee goose-stepping and giving a limp-wristed "zieg heil!" No doubt about it, this is Wrestlemania, baby!!!
Cena hated having to chain up his hand like that, but it just wouldn't stop taking a leak on the carpet.
The Big Show wows the audience with a picture-perfect flying Tornado DDT.
Cena celebrates the win with a dead-on McCauly Culkin impersonation.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, your winners.....and
STILL WWE Tag Team Village People Champions...."
Christian finally showcased his full abilities as a heel. Jericho didn't even notice the quicksand trap until it was too late.
Christian takes a break from the wrestling match for a moment, to go "opponent surfing" instead.
Neither Jericho nor Trish could handle it when Mae Young entered herself into the Evening Gown match.
Christian could've gotten the easy win here, but the ref was currently too busy savagely brawling with Steven Richards to notice.
Chrisitan is satisfied with leaving Jericho battered and defeated, but Trish charges up her Super-Saiyan powers to go for the kill.
Trish's smile began to fade as the grueling Jericho/Christian "who's got a better 'pissy' face?" contest went into its fourth hour.
Foley couldn't help but be impressed by how tall Richards had gotten.
The Hardcore Legend did his best to ignore that rancid toxic fart Batista just let out.
Evolution looked to have the match all under control, but it was suddenly all over when Flair's knee sprung a leak and his tortured soul escaped.
Soul: I'll never have to work with Orton ever again! I'm FREEEEEEEE!!!!
Oddly enough, Flair's soul had already bought a ticket in advance out in the fifth row.
Batista couldn't help but laugh as he let one rip, but to the dismay of his comrades.
I must say, that is the sexiest Menorah I have ever seen!
Stacy's offense ended in one of the most horrifying moments in Wrestlemania history, as Torrie countered by eating her alive from the foot up.
Ummmm, no comment.
Stacy was just as pissed as everyone else that she had to wear the lingerie made out of old bath towels.
EDIT: Curses! Lammy beat me to it!
Torrie and Sable were so happy with the win, they didn't even notice that half of the audience had been blinked out of existence. Or the huge horn now growing out of Sable's head.
Man, you'd think after all those years of fighting supervillains, the Justice League would've put up a better fight.
And for that matter, just who the hell decided to put Nunzio over Superman?
Chavo Sr. tries to give his son encouragement, but deep down he knew that once Rey had locked on the Tijuana Ass-Chomp of Death, it was all over.
Ever notice the way a parakeet freaks out when you put it in front of a mirror?
This is a thousand times worse.
Lesnar catches some AMAZING hang-time with one of the best flying cross body block I've ever seen.
The Goldberg/Lesnar/Thing Triple Threat match was a classic, only slightly marred by the run-in from Lurch and Cousin It at the end.
I can't beat the Lego one. That was just too damn good.
Charlie was slightly comforted by the thought that, even though he was about to get his head wedged up an enormous man's ass, it
still wasn't as bad as jobbing to Orlando Jordan.
Wrestlemania History seemed to repeat itself, as another attemped Dragonrana ended in tragedy.
Meanwhile, the referee had to lay further punishment on Richards for interfering in the match.
'Kish and Scotty were ecstatic to be the WWE's first "Red Rover, Red Rover" Champions.
Donald: Jesse, I gotta ask, what the hell is with the beard?
Jesse: It's a disguise. Hopefully, Vince won't know that I'm here and make me try to put over Randy Orton.
Victoria was a great wrestler, but she was clearly out of her league when put up against Molly "Make You Eat Your Own Fingers" Holly.
The Madison Square Garden crowd wasn't too happy when Molly and Victoria just quit mid-match and started doing Yoga routines instead.
Victoria finally proved her worth, though, coming up with a devastating new submission to finish Molly off. No one could ever withstand the
DOUBLE Sockos!!!
Molly couldn't help but admit she was enjoying this. It was always her private fantasy to look like a chemo patient.