from Screwed
Norm: "A street gang took the money!" (referring to 2 little boys)
Dave chapelle: Bullshit!
Norm: No I swear! They had tatoos and chains and-and those two sticks on a chain that you swing and you hurt people with!
Dave: You expect me to believe that you were mugged?
Norm: MUGGED!? IT WAS MORE LIKE A RAPE!
Dave:
Norm: well, not a real rape...
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From Dirty Work
Norm: hey, hey Isabelle wait up! (yelling at chick across the street, or wtv he claled her)
Chick: I guess you forgot my name...it isn't Isabelle. It's Kathy.
Norm: Oh I didnt forget, you never told me so I just guessed.
Kathy: So how did the fight at the bar turn out?
Norm: We kicked their ass! I was beating this one guy, I even threw this other guy through a plate glass window!
Kathy: really?
Norm: yeah well, sort of, except the exact opposite.