Due to the heavy change in the racial market, the WWE decided Theodore Long would make a better heel by turning white.
Ref: How many fingers am I holding up?
Haas: Eight.
Ref: Wrong, they're all sideways, not up. (What a dumbass, I belong on RAW.)
Rob Van Dam was was shocked at first, because he had forgot to tape SmackDown. Then after the drugs wore off, he realized he still had two days to do it.
Running out of talent due to the loss of so much lately, the WWE decided to employ "Simon the Fag" from As Good as it Gets.
Ahnold: Jah, geet downnnnnn! Meoove yuh bodeh to thah mhusick. Jah. Jah. Jah.
Kidman: What the hell are you doing?
Ahnold: Oh sahrry, I thought thes woss a city hall meeting.
Ref: Rene, you just won your SmackDown debut! How do you feel?
Rene: I'm going to, how you say, Burger King!
Yo, yo, yo. Don't knock on this man, he isn't that bad. We wouldn't want to make his little poodle mad. And don't hate him because he's French, because all he does is warm the - (holds up the mic)
Crowd: Fuck!
Cena: You're supposed to say bench.
Crowd: ...
Cena: ...I just don't give a -
Crowd: Bench! (huge pop)
Cena: Whatever.
Rene: What is zis? I steel haf to give Treeple H belly rubs? But I haf been drafted to ze SmackDown! And I haf to let Hunter do sex... (Reads more) ...Fifi! No!
Fifi: (Dog whining noises)
Rene: ARGH! Zis is why I left France in ze first place!
Teddy: So you see Rikishi, you shouldn't hang out with that white boy degenerate Rob Van Dam. He'll get you to smoke dope.
Rikishi: (Just stares at him, stoned)
Scotty: You're too late Teddy, how do you think he got the munchies enough to let himself go that much?
Booker: Why don't you go have a burrito?
Eddie: Why don't you go have some chicken?
Booker: Why don't you go back to where you came from?
Eddie: Why don't you?
Booker: Wait, ain't you from Texas too?
Eddie: Erm... Shhhhh.
What a smart Basham. Coaxing D'Von into stinging him, so that a few minutes later D'Von would die.
And then God said, "Let there be light," and prompted Bubba to move his fat ass out of the way.
Booker: I just can't take it anymore Kurt, I've had enough! I'm outta here!
Angle: You crybaby! I can't believe you! Watch this! I'll do a Spinarooni with a broken friggin' neck!
Chavo: Alright, I'm the new Cruiserweight Triple H, assume the position.
Spike: But-
Chavo: Yes, that's right, butt.
Chavo saw Triple H's giant fist coming from backstage, and quickly shielded himself with Spike.
or
Chavo further cemented his heel turn when he gave Garth from Wayne's World the Razor's Edge.
Bradshaw: Alright, Undertaker... This town ain't big enough for the two of us...
Hardcore Holly: You call the WCW belt paying your dues? Everyone's had that around here.
Booker: You haven't.
Hardcore: You stupid son of a bitch. Who the **** do you think you're talking to you little ****? I'm hardcore ****ing Holly, Sparky ****ing Plugg. While you were busy "winning titles" I was out training the **** out of myself and beating the **** out of 18-year-olds.
Booker: My bad.
Eddie: Booker, why are you picking my nose? Stop that!
Booker: I came out here for one reason only, and I'm not walking out of here without some gold.
Booker T: Eddie, you're gonna have to hold still.
Eddie: (Screaming)
Ref: Hm, just as I suspected. (gets a machine and sucks out a little worm robot with a Triple H face)
Eddie: HOLY SHIT THAT THING WAS REAL?
Eddie: Booker, wait!
Booker: Shut up sucka, it's naptime.
Eddie: But our Naptime Enforcer just left to go for the NFL.
Booker: Guess I have to kill you then...
Eddie: Man, I just had the worst dream... I had a dream that I got this major push, beat Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle back to back... Then got put in a feud with Bradshaw.
Freddy: HEH HEH HEH, you afraid of BRADSHAW little Eddie!?
Eddie: Getting... So... Sleepy... Must not fall asleep!
Freddy: HA-HA, it's TOO LATE! Triple H put daterape drugs in your kool-aid!
Ref: What the hell... Eddie!? Eddie! MEDIC! HE'S GOT NO PULSE!
Sean: Ah shit, dropped my hat.