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**Corkscrewed** · 04-09-2004, 03:20 AM

SmackDOWN! [5-13-2004]
Corkscrewed:

At this moment, D-Von thanked his lucky stars for TPWW and their ever-useful invisible crucifix gags.

"That's right, that's the person who stole my watch. He's also a homo."

It was a sad day when the Cruiserweight Title was defended by a woman who'd hardly been on TV the past year against a random drunken hobo in the middle of a field were people practiced Falon Gong.

Charles Robinson's aria didn't wow the pants off of Chavo Classic, so Jacqueline had to step in and do it manually.

Eddie knew he should be selling this more seriously, but how could you keep a straight face when you were being arrested by William Hung?

Vastardikai:

Ref: Bob, calm down. He's actually paid his dues.

PorkSoda:

Rey: This is how many people are going to order Judgement Day on Sunday to watch on Pay Per View

JBL: There he is! Lock him up inside his chambored door where the wolves go when they revive their roar! Put him high above the kitchen floor, where the baby stays for a midnight glore. Lock him away above the chambored door, make him squeel like nothing more, and lock him with Stephanie, that baby whore! Quote Bradshaw, nevermore.

trnbuckle:

D-Von tries for an RVD field goal.

Ferocious:

Booker: OMG that is the biggest shit I've ever seen
Guy in Crowd: No Booker thats Hardcore Holly

Sascha:

Guy In Crowd: Why did all the dinosaurs die?
Chavo: Because you touch yourself at night!!

Lamuella:

Booker regretted asking to see Sable without her makeup.

Cena realised that beating up a Yakuza member was a mistake, so tried the unconventional tactic of hiding behind his own hand.

It wasn't so much the amazing array of flips and swings that JBL and Rey did that was so impressive as the fact that they sang showunes in harmony as they did them.

El Santo:

It wasn't a pretty job, but SOMEONE had to help Quasimodo get dressed in the mornings.

What Kurt sees: Eddie Guerrero's bloodthirsty eyes. What Kurt doesn't see: Eddie Guerrero stealing his wallet.

Undertaker knew better, but --- dammit --- NO ONE in the world could resist the Everlasting Gobstopper.

JBL: "For the last time Eddie ... if you don't want to go to jail, then PULL MY GODDAMNED FINGER!!!"

Judgment Day
trnbuckle:

Sean? What are you still doing up there?

Vastardikai:

Mordecai was caught red handed in his attempt to steal a prop from the Judgement day backdrop.

And Undertaker wins the Dark Side Paper-Rock-Scissors Match.

Nowhere Man:

Unable to wrestlefull-time anymore, Kurt wows the audiences through other means, like shoving the microphone completely up his nose.

YOU.....SHALL NOT.....PASSSS!!!!!

Mordecai sure is an intimidating sight. A huge, powerful, zealous fanatic, who can hold his breath like nobody's business. Hear him. Fear him. Just don't poke his cheeks while he's doing that.

Ref: Put 'er there, pal!
Haas: I can't really do that right now. I'm in the middle of--
Ref: I said put 'er there, pal, and when I say put 'er there, you damn well better PUT 'ER ****ING THERE!!!!
Haas: Allright, allright!
*puts 'er there*

Bradshaw and Eddie entertain the fans by re-enacting every Steven Seagal movie ever.

Fryza:

Charles Robison proved he had more in common with Tony Danza than Torrie would have liked to known.

'Taker figured he could do a Spear better than Goldberg anyday of the week. He also figured wrong.

JBL was having that dream again. He was in a World title match when all of the sudden, his pants disappears.

Corkscrewed:

Rey REALLY didn't appreciate Bubba wearing his ass for a hat.

Deciding his Dead Cowboy look was a bit too stale, Undertaker decided to put Queen Amidala to shame with his own headdress.

Booker's "Rod stuck up your ass inspector" was off to a shaky start with Taker, but he was sure he'd find something once he got to Bradshaw.

Needless to say, after this incident, Bradshaw was fired by the American Red Cross.

gonMad00:

You can do anything to this referee... But if you dirty his shoes... you unleash hell.

MVP:

Eddie: "I'm an internet fan too essa! Do I look like a fat, out-of-shape wannabe?!"

Sascha:

Undertaker did not like being told he couldn't supersize

loopydate:

Burning crosses in the background... being lifted by a pasty white good ol' boy... Rey knew he wasn't in San Diego anymore.

Man! That is one hardcore noogie!

This was the last time Vince would let Quentin Tarantino book a pay-per-view main event.

RAW [5-17-2004]
HBK:

Matt: *choke* This would be a good time to *choke* remember your lines.

Fryza:

The Pro-Bush commercial aired on RAW seemed more frightening than planned.

Kane: You know, you look like this girl I once knew...her name was Katie...

Hunter: Get back guys, I'll take this one.

Corkscrewed:

Lita: "Wow! You did it! Teach me how to properly put away an EZ Fold Chair!!!"

Savior:

Randy: ok flair take the bling fold off.
*Flair takes it off*
Flair: What this isn't a bunch of women I can flash!
HHH: I know this is an intervention...

Always450:

JR: Bah Gawd! Trish LITERALLY tore off Lita�s head, broke a few ribs, insulted her parents, kicked her dog named Fluffy, shaved her pet gerbil, farted in her general direction, and gave her computer some horrible spy ware!
King: When I was wrestling, we called that a �chin lock...�

After this segment Kane suggested that the WWE hires a new beer man so mid-carders won�t get pegged when Kane is thirsty.

Coach: Don�t worry, you won�t remain a storyline tool forever.
Eugene: Really?
Coach: Yeah, really! Why, in a few weeks you�ll go over to SmackDown, turn heel, and main event at their next PPV.
Eugene: Can�t.
Coach: Why not?
Eugene: Bradshaw is already SmackDown�s retard.

El Santo:

Invisible Leprechaun: "You've done grand, lass! Now ya know what ya have ta do! BURN THE RING DOWN! Burn 'em ALL!!!!"

Gotta hand it to Kane: even after the Ebola virus had devoured half his face, he's still smiling.

Vastardikai:

Matt wondered which was worse: being choked with a chair, or Lita's hideously off-key rendition of "I Will Always Love You."

The Crossface hurt, but when Randy's freehand started punching him in the face, the Legend Killer knew his time was up.

thuganomicalcrippler:

Triple H: Ok, Val, you and Rosey get to work on taking my pants off. Randy, Ric, Dave, you guys will look on and gyrate suggestively. Chris, when the pants are down, do that thing that you did just before our Championship Match. Try and put more bite into it this time. Kane, you are going to be excused, once a day is enough. Rhyno, you're going to be the one who handles my ass cheeks and....why are you laughing?

RHYNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loopydate:

Lita's matches have been known to create narcolepsy among wrestling fans. Including Lita.

KANE: So what's your answer?
LITA: Yesps.
KANE: What?
LITA: Yope.
KANE: I don't--
LITA: Yis! Yas! Yus!
MATT: (Choking to death) Jesus Christ, she even botches saying "Yes."

As the Evolution promo entered it's fourth day, the RAW locker room said "Enough!"

As the "Diesel" music hit, the fans knew that the last seven years were all one big, massive swerve!

SmackDOWN! [5-20-2004]
Corkscrewed:

Gandalf noted that the Balrog was a lot more impressive last time.

Chavo had mixed emotions. He'd just won the Cruiserweight Title, but was it really worth becoming a homo?

The bawling was plenty when both Cena and Dupree found out that Bananas in Pajamas had been cancelled.

thuganomicalcrippler:

When I find who put postage stamps on my head and tried to airmail me to Botchnia.......

El Santo:

Mordecai was shocked. He knew that the WWE was killing the Cruiserweight division, but didn't think they'd do it literally!

Chavo sighed. Once again, he loses his belt in an intense game of Rock-Paper-Scissors.

Renee: "Are you so disgusted by ... how you Americans say it ... my Supersize French fry?"

In the match of the night, Eddie takes on Antman.

gonMad00:

Gandalf: You should have killed me when you had the chances,CHARLES!!....
... wait a minute..

Lamuella

Cena and Dupree are told that they can't watch Yu Gi Oh until they finish their homework. They don't take it well.

Xero Limit126:

Seconds later, Shawn Michaels debuted on SmackDown, kicking the shit out of Funaki for calling God a homo...

loopydate:

The new WWE Pull-String Love Dolls had a tendency to be a little overzealous.

And now, we return to "WWE Midcarders Watching the Undertaker and Kane versus Kronik."

Yes, it was morphin' time, but...where was the rest of his costume?

EMT: Check this out, guys! (Deep voice) Eddie? It is not your time... You still have your three-month feud with Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn to finish...

Kane Knight:

Mordeai's new finisher: the Showtune from Hell.

"OH MY GOD! IT VIBRATES!"

Sascha:

This is the last time Chavo Classic accepts favors from Fifi

04-09-2004, 03:20 AM	#85
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	SmackDOWN! [5-13-2004] Corkscrewed: At this moment, D-Von thanked his lucky stars for TPWW and their ever-useful invisible crucifix gags. "That's right, that's the person who stole my watch. He's also a homo." It was a sad day when the Cruiserweight Title was defended by a woman who'd hardly been on TV the past year against a random drunken hobo in the middle of a field were people practiced Falon Gong. Charles Robinson's aria didn't wow the pants off of Chavo Classic, so Jacqueline had to step in and do it manually. Eddie knew he should be selling this more seriously, but how could you keep a straight face when you were being arrested by William Hung? Vastardikai: Ref: Bob, calm down. He's actually paid his dues. PorkSoda: Rey: This is how many people are going to order Judgement Day on Sunday to watch on Pay Per View JBL: There he is! Lock him up inside his chambored door where the wolves go when they revive their roar! Put him high above the kitchen floor, where the baby stays for a midnight glore. Lock him away above the chambored door, make him squeel like nothing more, and lock him with Stephanie, that baby whore! Quote Bradshaw, nevermore. trnbuckle: D-Von tries for an RVD field goal. Ferocious: Booker: OMG that is the biggest shit I've ever seen Guy in Crowd: No Booker thats Hardcore Holly Sascha: Guy In Crowd: Why did all the dinosaurs die? Chavo: Because you touch yourself at night!! Lamuella: Booker regretted asking to see Sable without her makeup. Cena realised that beating up a Yakuza member was a mistake, so tried the unconventional tactic of hiding behind his own hand. It wasn't so much the amazing array of flips and swings that JBL and Rey did that was so impressive as the fact that they sang showunes in harmony as they did them. El Santo: It wasn't a pretty job, but SOMEONE had to help Quasimodo get dressed in the mornings. What Kurt sees: Eddie Guerrero's bloodthirsty eyes. What Kurt doesn't see: Eddie Guerrero stealing his wallet. Undertaker knew better, but --- dammit --- NO ONE in the world could resist the Everlasting Gobstopper. JBL: "For the last time Eddie ... if you don't want to go to jail, then PULL MY GODDAMNED FINGER!!!" Judgment Day trnbuckle: Sean? What are you still doing up there? Vastardikai: Mordecai was caught red handed in his attempt to steal a prop from the Judgement day backdrop. And Undertaker wins the Dark Side Paper-Rock-Scissors Match. Nowhere Man: Unable to wrestlefull-time anymore, Kurt wows the audiences through other means, like shoving the microphone completely up his nose. YOU.....SHALL NOT.....PASSSS!!!!! Mordecai sure is an intimidating sight. A huge, powerful, zealous fanatic, who can hold his breath like nobody's business. Hear him. Fear him. Just don't poke his cheeks while he's doing that. Ref: Put 'er there, pal! Haas: I can't really do that right now. I'm in the middle of-- Ref: I said put 'er there, pal, and when I say put 'er there, you damn well better PUT 'ER ***ING THERE!!!! Haas: Allright, allright! puts 'er there* Bradshaw and Eddie entertain the fans by re-enacting every Steven Seagal movie ever. Fryza: Charles Robison proved he had more in common with Tony Danza than Torrie would have liked to known. 'Taker figured he could do a Spear better than Goldberg anyday of the week. He also figured wrong. JBL was having that dream again. He was in a World title match when all of the sudden, his pants disappears. Corkscrewed: Rey REALLY didn't appreciate Bubba wearing his ass for a hat. Deciding his Dead Cowboy look was a bit too stale, Undertaker decided to put Queen Amidala to shame with his own headdress. Booker's "Rod stuck up your ass inspector" was off to a shaky start with Taker, but he was sure he'd find something once he got to Bradshaw. Needless to say, after this incident, Bradshaw was fired by the American Red Cross. gonMad00: You can do anything to this referee... But if you dirty his shoes... you unleash hell. MVP: Eddie: "I'm an internet fan too essa! Do I look like a fat, out-of-shape wannabe?!" Sascha: Undertaker did not like being told he couldn't supersize loopydate: Burning crosses in the background... being lifted by a pasty white good ol' boy... Rey knew he wasn't in San Diego anymore. Man! That is one hardcore noogie! This was the last time Vince would let Quentin Tarantino book a pay-per-view main event. RAW [5-17-2004] HBK: Matt: choke This would be a good time to choke remember your lines. Fryza: The Pro-Bush commercial aired on RAW seemed more frightening than planned. Kane: You know, you look like this girl I once knew...her name was Katie... Hunter: Get back guys, I'll take this one. Corkscrewed: Lita: "Wow! You did it! Teach me how to properly put away an EZ Fold Chair!!!" Savior: Randy: ok flair take the bling fold off. Flair takes it off Flair: What this isn't a bunch of women I can flash! HHH: I know this is an intervention... Always450: JR: Bah Gawd! Trish LITERALLY tore off Lita�s head, broke a few ribs, insulted her parents, kicked her dog named Fluffy, shaved her pet gerbil, farted in her general direction, and gave her computer some horrible spy ware! King: When I was wrestling, we called that a �chin lock...� After this segment Kane suggested that the WWE hires a new beer man so mid-carders won�t get pegged when Kane is thirsty. Coach: Don�t worry, you won�t remain a storyline tool forever. Eugene: Really? Coach: Yeah, really! Why, in a few weeks you�ll go over to SmackDown, turn heel, and main event at their next PPV. Eugene: Can�t. Coach: Why not? Eugene: Bradshaw is already SmackDown�s retard. El Santo: Invisible Leprechaun: "You've done grand, lass! Now ya know what ya have ta do! BURN THE RING DOWN! Burn 'em ALL!!!!" Gotta hand it to Kane: even after the Ebola virus had devoured half his face, he's still smiling. Vastardikai: Matt wondered which was worse: being choked with a chair, or Lita's hideously off-key rendition of "I Will Always Love You." The Crossface hurt, but when Randy's freehand started punching him in the face, the Legend Killer knew his time was up. thuganomicalcrippler: Triple H: Ok, Val, you and Rosey get to work on taking my pants off. Randy, Ric, Dave, you guys will look on and gyrate suggestively. Chris, when the pants are down, do that thing that you did just before our Championship Match. Try and put more bite into it this time. Kane, you are going to be excused, once a day is enough. Rhyno, you're going to be the one who handles my ass cheeks and....why are you laughing? RHYNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! loopydate: Lita's matches have been known to create narcolepsy among wrestling fans. Including Lita. KANE: So what's your answer? LITA: Yesps. KANE: What? LITA: Yope. KANE: I don't-- LITA: Yis! Yas! Yus! MATT: (Choking to death) Jesus Christ, she even botches saying "Yes." As the Evolution promo entered it's fourth day, the RAW locker room said "Enough!" As the "Diesel" music hit, the fans knew that the last seven years were all one big, massive swerve! SmackDOWN! [5-20-2004] Corkscrewed: Gandalf noted that the Balrog was a lot more impressive last time. Chavo had mixed emotions. He'd just won the Cruiserweight Title, but was it really worth becoming a homo? The bawling was plenty when both Cena and Dupree found out that Bananas in Pajamas had been cancelled. thuganomicalcrippler: When I find who put postage stamps on my head and tried to airmail me to Botchnia....... El Santo: Mordecai was shocked. He knew that the WWE was killing the Cruiserweight division, but didn't think they'd do it literally! Chavo sighed. Once again, he loses his belt in an intense game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. Renee: "Are you so disgusted by ... how you Americans say it ... my Supersize French fry?" In the match of the night, Eddie takes on Antman. gonMad00: Gandalf: You should have killed me when you had the chances,CHARLES!!.... ... wait a minute.. Lamuella Cena and Dupree are told that they can't watch Yu Gi Oh until they finish their homework. They don't take it well. Xero Limit126: Seconds later, Shawn Michaels debuted on SmackDown, kicking the shit out of Funaki for calling God a homo... loopydate: The new WWE Pull-String Love Dolls had a tendency to be a little overzealous. And now, we return to "WWE Midcarders Watching the Undertaker and Kane versus Kronik." Yes, it was morphin' time, but...where was the rest of his costume? EMT: Check this out, guys! (Deep voice) Eddie? It is not your time... You still have your three-month feud with Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn to finish... Kane Knight: Mordeai's new finisher: the Showtune from Hell. "OH MY GOD! IT VIBRATES!" Sascha: This is the last time Chavo Classic accepts favors from Fifi Last edited by Corkscrewed; 06-03-2004 at 03:57 PM.