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**Corkscrewed** · 04-09-2004, 06:06 AM

*intro music*

Welcome ladies and gentleman to the channel 69 News at 6. I'm your lead anchor, George Goldenbox.

Our top story, President Bush has officially announced a country split. Earlier today, the president held a press conference to announce that the 50 states of the union would be divided into two brands in an effort to shake up the country and divert attention away from his flailing war efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The two brands will diverge along a roughly east-west axis, thereby separating them into the Northern US and the Southern US conferences. President Bush believes this new arrangement will allow for the rise of new states that were previously held down by the polictically heavy states. Main eventers like New York, California, and Texas could not be reached for comment, but insiders report that they were not looking forward to putting smaller and less important states like Iowa and Kansas over, since they haven't paid their dues to the government yet.

One state did make a public statement. In a break from kayfabe, Hardcore Hawaii noted that some of these states might now become great tourist attractions on their own, without earning the right to do. Further attempts to pry more comments were cut short, however, when he mentioned a meeting with Brocalifornia that he had to get to, where they would begin to plan their new feud.

President Bush also appointed two National Managers. The North would be led by his two twin daughters, who immediately lifted all liquor bans in Utah and began planning parties in Wisconsin. The major shock was the appointment of the Iraqi Information Minister as National Manager of the South. Many in the industry could hardly believe their ears when this news was announced, as no one could have ever forseen these two working in the same company a few years ago when they were actively competing against each other.

The Iraqi Information Minister heads a South conference heavily loaded with stars like Florida, Texas, and California, leading some to feel that the South will be promoted as the "A-Show." These suspicions were not allayed when Washington D.C. was officially proclaimed as part of Southern territory. Northern states, like Washington, New York, Ohio, and Massachusetts, were thrilled to have the chance to work with some of the other technical states, especially those along the northern Atlantic seaboard.

There are questions as to whether or not the international community will buy the brand split. Both brands will continue to share troop support in Iraq and Afghanistan, leading many to speculate that all of this is just a very weak cover for what is still one country, but Bush expressed his optimism that the people would respond well to these new changes and increase viewership even more to see what would happen to the potential new stars.

04-09-2004, 06:06 AM	#2
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	intro music Welcome ladies and gentleman to the channel 69 News at 6. I'm your lead anchor, George Goldenbox. Our top story, President Bush has officially announced a country split. Earlier today, the president held a press conference to announce that the 50 states of the union would be divided into two brands in an effort to shake up the country and divert attention away from his flailing war efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan. The two brands will diverge along a roughly east-west axis, thereby separating them into the Northern US and the Southern US conferences. President Bush believes this new arrangement will allow for the rise of new states that were previously held down by the polictically heavy states. Main eventers like New York, California, and Texas could not be reached for comment, but insiders report that they were not looking forward to putting smaller and less important states like Iowa and Kansas over, since they haven't paid their dues to the government yet. One state did make a public statement. In a break from kayfabe, Hardcore Hawaii noted that some of these states might now become great tourist attractions on their own, without earning the right to do. Further attempts to pry more comments were cut short, however, when he mentioned a meeting with Brocalifornia that he had to get to, where they would begin to plan their new feud. President Bush also appointed two National Managers. The North would be led by his two twin daughters, who immediately lifted all liquor bans in Utah and began planning parties in Wisconsin. The major shock was the appointment of the Iraqi Information Minister as National Manager of the South. Many in the industry could hardly believe their ears when this news was announced, as no one could have ever forseen these two working in the same company a few years ago when they were actively competing against each other. The Iraqi Information Minister heads a South conference heavily loaded with stars like Florida, Texas, and California, leading some to feel that the South will be promoted as the "A-Show." These suspicions were not allayed when Washington D.C. was officially proclaimed as part of Southern territory. Northern states, like Washington, New York, Ohio, and Massachusetts, were thrilled to have the chance to work with some of the other technical states, especially those along the northern Atlantic seaboard. There are questions as to whether or not the international community will buy the brand split. Both brands will continue to share troop support in Iraq and Afghanistan, leading many to speculate that all of this is just a very weak cover for what is still one country, but Bush expressed his optimism that the people would respond well to these new changes and increase viewership even more to see what would happen to the potential new stars.