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Jr: Ladies and Gentlemen, we're live at the US Senate, and Vince McMahon is here tonight! And he has a huge announcement to make concerning tonight's main event.
King: I hope he's going to announce something that has to do with puppies!
Jr: Bah Gawd, if he does, I'll move to Canada!
Vince's Music hits and he swaggers out to a ring which has been placed in the middle of the room. As he enters the ring he grabs a microphone.
Vince: I told you all that we were going to shake this country up, and dammit, that's what I plan to do.
The entire room stands to applaud.
Vince: How about we have that title match between our own Presidential Champion, George W. Bush and the number one contender, Sen. John Kerry tonight?
The crowds go nuts at the announcement. The titan Tron reveals a tally that shows 99 "Yes" votes, and one "Undecided." Suddenly Howard Dean's music hits and he walks out onto the entrance ramp.
Dean: Hey Yo! I'm not going to move one inch until you let me have that title match instead of Kerry. Everybody here saw me beat Kerry the other night!
The crowd boos loudly
Jr: That's a damn lie! He beat the man down when he wasn't expecting it. Kerry beat Dean fair and square.
King: I don't know...Dean does have big muscles...
Jr: That doesn't mean anything. He's a cheater and a madman!
Vince looks at Dean delightfully.
Vince: Well, I tell you what. I like a guy with brains, and you've shown you've got some. I can't say I like you for interupting me as I was about to make my big announcement, but I guess you do deserve a match tonight.
The crowd boos as Dean grins greedily.
Vince: But it won't be a title match.
The crowd suddenly goes silent.
Vince: I'm going to take back that title match since none of your little opinions matter anyway... *Vince points to the tally on the titan tron. The crowd boos insanely* Instead, we're going to have a non-title match between George W Bush and Howard Dean....and it's going to be right now!!!
Jr: This is insane! Bah Gawd, can he over-ride a senate majority like that?
King: He can do anything! He's Mr. McMahon!
Jr: Folks, we're going to have to take a commercial break. When we come back, the match between Bush and Dean. It's next!!!
*Commercial break consisting of 15 "Walking Tall" comercials strung back to back followed by an old Final Fantasy X 2 commercial.*
*The last of Bush's music finishes up as Bush gets in the ring. The bell rings to begin the match.*
Jr: We're back, and it's time for the match to begin!
*Bush and Dean wrestle back and forth. Bush takes the lead early in the match by doing several clothes lines followed by a quick "Dubba Bomb". Dean lays on the mat nearly beaten as Bush waves his "W" hand signal to the crowd.*
Jr: He's calling for the Figure W leg lock!
King: This looks bad!
Jr: It does seem a little early in the match for it.
*Suddenly, Dean lifts himself from the mat and hits Bush with a low blow and wraps him up in a schoolboy*
Jr: This may be it!
*Bush kicks out of the schoolboy after a two count. Dean stands up and begins kicking Bush's legs.*
King: He's going to cripple the champion! Vince knew he was smart!
Jr: I'll admit that taking the champ's legs out is a good idea, but if he didn't do that low blow, Bush would have this match won!
King: Shut up, old man! You're just a Oklahoma idiot anyway!
Jr: What?
King: Puppies! Puppies!
Jr: That's what I thought you said.
*Dean pulls Bush over to the ring post and begins slamming his leg into the post. Bush screams in agony. Dean then grabs a chair from the timekeeper and dives back in the ring. The ref grabs the chair and begins arguing with Dean, telling him that this is not a no hold's barred match and that the chair is illegal. Bush slowly gets up to his feet and strains to stand up. Dean looks over his shoulder and sees that Bush is standing. He lets go of the chair and launches himself across the ring to hit Bush with some punches, but Bush counters with a quick spear. The crowd goes nuts. Bush lifts Dean up and places Dean's head between his knees.*
King: What's he going to do?
Jr: The double Anti-terrorism powerbomb!
*Bush lifts Dean up and slams him to the ground*
Jr: He's got him locked in tight. Can he lift him again?
*Bush lifts Dean up for the second time and slams him down again.*
King: That's one for his Pop and one for good measure!
*Bush stands up and addresses the nation with his "W" hand signal.
Jr: He's going to do it! The figure W leg lock!
King: Dean looks out of it. I don't think you can tap out if you're unconscious.
Jr: It doesn't matter. Bush would still win!
*Bush wraps Dean's legs up in a funky W formation. Dean suddenly snaps back into consciousness and lets out a scream of pain.... "EEEEAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"*
Jr: Folks at home, I can't even begin to tell you just how frighteningly loud those screams are in person here tonight. Those madman screams of pain are litterally echoing off of my BBQ Sauce Stunner Rattlesnake...
King: Don't forget the Puppies!
Jr: Bah Gawd, is that all you ever say?
*Dean looks as though he's about to tap. Suddenly Joe Lieberman jumps out from the crowd and climbs the turnbuckle. As the ref's back is turned, he dives into the ring to hit Bush with a tremendous elbow drop.*
Jr: Bah Gawd! It's Lieberman! It's Lieberman! He's just hit Bush with the "Joe-mentum!"
King: I guess he's joined Dean in the Green Party too!
Jr: Damn you, you sonofabitch!
*Dean quickly gets out of the figure W leg lock and wraps Bush up for the 1-2-3. He jumps out of the ring to hug Lieberman as Bush scowls at them from the ring.*
Jr: Unbelievable! Liebermann, you sonofabitch!
*The WWE logo pops up in the corner of the screen to signal the end of the show as we watch Dean and Liebermann walk triumphantly up the ramp, taunting Bush*
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