[Triple Naitch]

Invitation Only: FredEx Some Magic Boner Coffee The People's Champion + Cock Coffee = Batshit Crazy Freddie Mitchell AKA First Down Freddie AKA FredEx AKA The People’s Champion (with requisite belt), formerly of the Philadelphia Eagles, hasn’t played in an NFL game since 2004. But don’t worry, Freddie’s kept busy in the years since. He became a substitute teacher (which lasted only a short while after being relieved of his duties due to his practice of asking high school girls for their numbers). He then opened a BBQ Joint (which got into a bit of trouble after seven pounds of weed were delivered to the restaurant). But the ever resilient Mitchell has bounced back with his greatest product yet… AllXClub’s Magic Power Coffee. And right now for you, the lucky reader, Freddie is hosting an “Invitation Only: Special Pre-Launch, September 1 – September 15″. (He’ll tell you all about it on Twitter.) But what is AllXClub’s Magic Power Coffee you might ask? According to their website, “Magic Power Coffee is the world’s first “fantasy” beverage. It’s like someone dropped two Viagra® in a cup of Starbucks® … then stirred in a potent ‘passion elixir’ for her! Increase the sensation and the satisfaction of your love making, every time.” Now you might ask, “Why would I want Viagra coffee when I could have a regular Viagra and/or regular coffee?” The answer is I have no fucking idea. But then again, have we ever had an idea what the hell FredEx is thinking? All I can say is best of luck to Mr. Mitchell on his Magic Boner Coffee.