It was bad enough that The Rock plugs his movies on WWE TV...did Shelton Benjamin REALLY need to use a prop from his upcoming cameo in "Barbershop 3" as a weapon?
As Flair does the same old boring face-first bump, Shelton prepares to take it to the next level.
REF: Holy shit, Yoshi, are you okay? I TOLD Coach not to try the Alabamaslam!
The obvious answer to the question "Why isn't Rhyno even at the arena?"
Coach knew what was coming and prepared, but Tajiri froze. That...couldn't be Chavo's music...could it?
Tonight on WWE Mid-Card Theatre...THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. That's right, tonight we will be re-enacting the famous "Boromir's death" scene from J.R.R. Tolkien's classic. Playing the role of brave Gondorian soldier Boromir will be Yoshihiro Tajiri. Jonathan Coachman and Garrison Cade will be performing as endangered hobbits Merry and Pippin. And, of course, playing the role of the deadly Lutz...
Steven Richards.
Come on, what did you expect?
COACH: Wiiiiiiiiiiiiii, em-see...Garrison?
CADE: *Sigh* I coulda had Teddy Long...
The new WWE Phone Booths, coming soon to arenas near you!
"Stunning" Steve Austin made a surprise return...with unsurprising results.
Y2J: Hey, look! I found a bitch! Can I keep it?
GAIL: Hey, guys.
EUGENE: Hey! It DOES work! You just rub her head and you get a wish!
MOLLY: What the hell are you talking about?
EUGENE: I always WANTED an Asian whore!
Gimme a...um...sigma?
VICTORIA (thinking): I wouldn't have thought that someone could botch running the ropes so badly.
GAIL: Oh, my God...
MOLLY: Ref, how could you let Lita do a piledriver? How COULD you?
MICK: I'll just hit Randy with an overhe--DAMMIT, HUNTER!
RANDY: My shirt does not lie!
MICK: Okay, okay! You ARE Voldemort!
RANDY: Oh, God! The Olympic Torch. It's...it's...BEAUTIFUL!
The shirt...the lighter...yeah. Mick loooooooooooooved Bon Jovi.
RANDY: Fucking Micro Machines!
Connect the dots. La-la-la-la-la!
REF: Randy? Randy? God, this is just like the pictures a couple of......Mick?
MICK: Gotta go!
Dave Batista's "FCC" gimmick drew immediate heat when he started censoring bellybuttons.
(Backstage)
MAE: So my panties weren't in the lowrider after all!
See what happens when you don't let him do the Vertebreaker very often? He gets rusty.
ELMO: Elmo's choking!
KANE: DIE, FOUL MUPPET!
EDGE: Elmo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
With Booker T on SmackDown, Edge saw his chance. Edgeroonie, here we come!
KANE: You don't do the job...I step on Stevie's dog.
Not to be outdone, Triple H was set to unleash...the H-a-roonie! Um...li'l' help?
SHAWN: That's funny. I don't FEEL the ocean...
Earl Hebner's impression of James Earl Jones' performance in "Annihilation of Fish" was damned impressive. Unfortunately, no one has ever HEARD of "Annihilation of Fish."
EARL: Seriously, Hunter, no one has given up to the Camel Clutch since, like, 1991.
BENOIT: Yeah, what's that aboot?
EARL: CANADIAN!
*Calls for bell*
SHAWN: If I had a hand in the Montreal Screwjob, may I be horribly crushed from above somehow...
KGAKGJALJ:IJGI GIANT SWING!
The new Shawn Michaels bench is NOT ergonomically-designed.
Sure, the arena got swallowed up by a sinkhole, but dammit, Chris was dyin' happy!