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Y2KoTF
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CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio is next. They show a recap of the feud featuring slow motion effects.
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
CM Punk comes out, “talking shit” about Rey Mysterio.
“I will beat him. He will join my straight edge society and in doing so, 70k people just like you will choose me as their savior and the straight edge society will live on one nation under Punk, indivisible, with integrity and sobriety for all.”
Rey Mysterio comes out.
Long ass entrances.
They go at it… CM Punk tries to drop kick Mysterio in the corner but Mysterio moves and CM Punk goes crotch first into the post.
Mysterio with a cross body attempt but CM Punk catches him and slams him down.
Punk goes for 4 pinfalls in a row but Mysterio kicks out of each one.
Mysterio goes for the 619 but “Serena” breaks it up.
Punk goes for his finisher but Mysterio counters. Goes to the top rope.
FROG SPLASH but Punk moves. Goes for the pin, kick out.
Punk goes for the GTS but Rey counters with a hurricanrana.
Mysterio hits a 619 then a springboard splash for the pin.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon
Recap of the McMahon-Bret Hart feud.
Some guy has a “BRETT BEAT VINCE” sign.
Bret Hart’s music hits.
They zoom in on the “BRETT BEAT VINCE” sign.
Bret Hart dressed in jean shorts and a leather jacket.
McMahon’s music hits and he comes out with a microphone.
He poses, shows his muscles.
“Look at ya. Look at ya in there, Bret. You’re in my ring. In my greatest creation, WrestleMania! And you know, Bret. What you deserve, you deserve a WrestleMania sized screw in.”
Crowd boos.
“Therefore, I shelled out a whole lot of bucks and it’s going to be worth it because you get what you pay for, so I went out and bought myself a whole bunch of lumberjacks. One of them is going to be a guest referee. Just remember this, Bret… Bret… screwed… Bret… and Vince… screwed… Bret. And now, Vince, and your entire family, screwed Bret. Come on out!”
The Hart family comes out. Cole is like, “you gotta be kiddin’ me!!!”
“Give me an entrance music. Give me something I deserve. This is my creation!”
His theme hits and they walk down the aisle.
Can’t believe there are still 2 hours left.
Michael Cole says, “this is pathetic.” He is disgusted.
Bruce Hart is going to be the special guest referee.
Bret Hart grabs the mic.
“There’s not much I can do about it. What’s done is done. There’s one thing I know about the Hart Family. You got paid up front didn’t you? Got your money, cashed your check, put it in the bank. There’s one thing I learned from the Montreal Screw Job, and that there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross. The thing is, the Hart family, we’re stronger than ever. They told me what you were gonna do and told me ahead of time. And tonight, this, your greatest creation of all, WrestleMania… it’s gonna be forever remembered as the night… that Bret screwed Vince!”
Bruce Hart embraces Bret.
The bell rings.
Hart family surrounding the ring, on Bret’s side presumably.
Bret punches at Vince and starts to stomp him in the corner, eventually rolling him out of the ring and into the hands of the Hart family, who “beats up on him.”
Jim Neidhart’s daughter slaps Vince. They all stomp on him. McMahon getting his “ass beat.”
Tyson Kidd goes to the top rope and hits a clothesline to the outside as McMahon is held up.
McMahon finally rolled back into the ring as Bret stomps on him. He works on Vince’s leg. McMahon screams in pain as Bret drops elbows and whatnot. McMahon rolls out again and tries to hide under the ring, but the Hart family drags him back out. McMahon grabs some sort of crowbar or something from the bottom and the Hart family scatters as he threatens to hit them with it. They shout “coward” at him.
McMahon runs back into the ring but Bret knocks him down and drops a couple of more elbows. He grabs the crowbar and hits Vince in the midsection repeatedly. Crowd seems to be like “whatever bro.”
Bret waits for Vince to stand up on his own, and nails him with the crowbar again.
Bret grabs Vince in a headlock and jabs him in the throat with the crowbar.
Hart family annoyingly slamming their hands on the apron.
Bret goes for the Sharpshooter and the crowd “goes wild.” On their feet.
He begins to lock it on but then stops and grabs the crowbar again.
Seemed to be expecting a “pop” from the crowd but they all just sat back down.
Bret hits Vince again, and again, goes for the Sharpshooter.
He is about to lock on the Sharpshooter, but instead, stomps at Vince’s crotch.
He stomps on him again.
Vince is “begging for mercy” but Bret continues to stomp on him.
Bret is tossed a chair and bret sets it up and takes a seat as Vince crawls around slowly in the ring.
Bret watches Vince and relaxes as he crawls.
Vince finally stands and Bret nails him pretty hard in the back with the chair.
Again, slams him hard in the back. And a third one, not holding back at all. And again and again and again.
Repeatedly nailing McMahon with the chair really hard.
Bret continues to hit McMahon with the chair over and over. Like 40 times, and finally tosses it aside.
He grabs McMahon’s legs and the crowd goes crazy as he starts to lock on the Sharpshooter… and he does. McMahon immediately taps out and the bell rings…
Winner: Bret Hart
Bret and the Hart family celebrate in the ring after the match.
Chris Jericho vs. Edge
Feud recap.
Jericho enters… Edge’s theme hits before Jericho gets to the ring.
Some bro has a “USA! USA! USA!” sign.
Bell rings, they lock up, match is under way.
Headlock by Jericho. Jericho knocks down Edge with a shoulder block and plays to the crowd.
Edge slams down Jericho and gets ready for a spear, but Jericho rolls out of the ring. Edge follows him and throws him back in, but is kicked in the face by Jericho as he climbs back in. Jericho raises his fist in victory.
Back in the ring, Jericho hits a back drop, then locks on a sleeper hold.
Edge tries to climb up but Jericho pulls him down hard by his hair.
Crowd is dead.
Jericho is suddenly knocked outside by Edge and Edge follows it up with a clothesline off the apron to the outside.
Rolls Jericho back in and climbs the top rope but Jericho follows him up. Edge fights him off and hits a facebuster off the top rope. Kick out at 2.
Jericho suddenly tries to lock on the Walls of Jericho but Edge quickly fights him off.
Edge off the top rope with a cross body block but Jericho rolls him up. Kick out at 2.
Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho again but Edge breaks out of it. Top rope, sunset flip by Edge, near fall. Jericho reverses, near fall. Jericho gets up and kicks Edge in the effing face.
He waits for Edge to stand up. Goes for the code breaker, but Edge shoves him off into the corner and Jericho falls down, hurt. Edge waits in the opposite corner for the spear, but Jericho jumps up, out of the way and counters into the Walls of Jericho!
Ref asking Edge if he wants to tap out. Edge tries to fight out of it and rolls out, locks Jericho into a small package, but Jericho kicks out.
Jericho quickly elbows Edge, goes for the Lionsault but misses. Edge goes for the pin, kick out.
Jericho kicks Jericho in the head and knocks him down. Kick out.
Off the ropes, Edge kicks Jericho and hits a DDT but Jericho kicks out.
They are both “gassed.”
Jericho climbs to the middle rope and jumps down with a forearm to the back of Edge’s head.
He looks to the crowd with a “crazy” look in his eyes and a smile. He stand in the corner as Edge is in the other corner, and gets ready for the spear… He runs at Edge for the spear but Edge stand up and kicks him in the face with a big boot.
Jericho down in the corner, Edge in the opposite corner again, waiting for Jericho to get up. He goes for the spear… CODE BREAKER by Jericho.
Both men down.
Jericho crawls over and hooks the leg… 1-2-no.
Another cover and a kick out. Jericho yells at the referee.
Jericho kicks Edge in his injured achilles tendon, then stomps on it.
Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho again and locks it in. Edge trying to fight out of it, crawling to the ropes… almost there but Jericho drags him back to the center of the ring and locks on a single leg crab on Edge’s injured leg. Edge trying not to tap out. Crawls to the rope again and grabs on, breaking the hold.
Jericho tries to grab Edge by his leg but Edge rolls him up… Jericho kicks out. Edge clotheslines Jericho and they both fall to the outside.
Jericho grabs the heavyweight title from the outside but Edge punches him. They battle on the apron and Edge accidentally knocks out the referee.
Jericho grabs the belt and nails Edge in the face.
Referee gets back up and counts… 1-2-kick out.
Jericho “can’t believe it.”
Shouts at Edge to get up.
Hits the code breaker on Edge.
1-2-3.
Winner: Chris Jericho
After the match, Jericho celebrates in the ring. He grabs Edge’s leg and tries to slam it into the post but Edge kicks him away and fights back. He pulls off the top of the spanish announce tables and monitors. He puts Jericho on top of one table and stand on the other. He waits for Jericho to get up and then spears him off the announce table through the barricade.
Edge rolls back into the ring and the crowd is half booing and half cheering.
His music hits and he celebrates in the middle of the ring as “medics” tend to Jericho.
26 Man Battle Royal Before the PPV
Michael Cole mentions that there was a 26 man over the top rope battle royal before the PPV started.
Shows a bunch of them eliminating the Great Khali.
Yoshi Tatsu knocks out Zach Ryder with a kick to the head in the end and wins the battle royal.
Diva Tag Team Match
Kelly Kelly, pretty hot.
Vicky Guerrero starts off with Gail Kim.
She taunts her but Beth Phoenix is tagged in and Vicky screams. Matt Striker keeps pronouncing the spanish last names with a spanish accent.
Kelly Kelly comes in and Vicky screams at her, shouting “do you know who I am?” Kelly Kelly kicks her in the stomach.
Michelle McCool comes in and hits a face breaker on Kelly.
So much fucking screaming/shrieking.
Dunno wtf is going on right now.
Gail Kim in, does some shit.
Some blonde chick.
Maryse.
“The French Kiss” on the Asian chick.
Some chick who is black I think comes in.
Beth Phoenix does some move to her.
Beth Phoenix looks towards Vicky as she screams in the corner.
Michelle McCool saves her.
Vicky and Michelle are in the ring along with Kelly Kelly. Vicky is helped to the top rope and hits some shitty frog splash but Kelly Kelly kicks out I think. I dunno.
Or she got up on her own and splashed down on her again awkwardly.
And she pins her this time.
And they win.
Winners: Vicky Guerrero’s team
Vicky “shakes her titties” in the ring as the rest celebrate.
John Cena vs. Batista
For the WWE Championship.
Batista comes out first.
Should have taken a piss during the feud recap. Forgot.
Actually going to now.
Back, didn’t wash hands.
Batista’s entrance still going on.
Dog came in, sitting next to me.
Wants to get out now, let him out.
Army bros doing something now for some reason.
What is this
Doing some march.
Crowd is silent.
Doing some fancy spinning bullshit with their rifles.
And John Cena’s music hits, what the fuck is this.
Cena runs out into the ring, totally “fired up.”
Crowd half cheers half boos Cena as he is introduced.
Same reaction for Batista. Lil more boos possibly.
Cool lights, making this seem like a “huge match.”
Pretty good atmosphere.
Bell rings.
They lock up. Some dumb bitch screaming in the crowd with a John Cena shirt, crowd booing her I think.
Batista throws Cena into the corner and hits him in the back of the head with a forearm, then stomps at him in the corner.
Some guy with sunglasses in the crowd raises what seems to be a bottle of beer.
Batista tries a suplex but Cena suplexes into a suplex of his own.
Don’t feel like watching this at all.
Cena struggles to pick Cena up and goes for the attitude adjustment, but Batista counters and DDTs Cena awkwardly. Kicks him in the head.
Sleeper hold.
Cena fights out of the sleeper hold, with Batista on his back.
They exchange blows…
Crowd boos as Cena hits Batista and cheers when Batista hits Cena.
Another rest hold by Batista but Cena counters again. Shoulder block by Cena. Back body drop.
Cena taunts Batista with his “U Can’t See Me” stuff, runs off the rope but Batista gets up and “nails” him. Crowd pops.
Cena locks on the STF out of nowhere as Batista taunts.
Batista crawls to the ropes and grabs on.
Spear by Batista. Kick out.
Batista rams his shoulder into Cena’s “mid section” in the corner, then goes for the superplex but Cena tries to fight it off. They lock hands in a “test of strength.” Cena headbutts Batista three times and Batista finally falls down.
Cena taunts on the top rope and jumps down with the “five knuckle shuffle” from the top rope. Goes for the attitude adjustment but Batista counters into a BATISTA BOMB.
1-2-no. Batista can’t freaking believe it!!!!!!!!!!!
Batista stares down Cena and goes for another Batista Bomb but Cena counters into an attitude adjustment but Batista counters… then Cena counters again and HITS the attitude adjustment but Batista kicks out.
Crowd is really into the match.
Pretty good series there.
Cena goes to the top rope and jumps down but Batista grabs him and slams him down to the mat. Goes for another Batista Bomb but Cena counters into the STF…
Batista trying to crawl to the ropes… but can’t do it and he TAPS OUT.
Winner and new WWE Champion: John Cena
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