Matt: Now then Chris, if I can just draw your attention to the oversized screens that none of us look at.
Chris: What am I looking for here?
Matt: The latest in Christian's hair design.
Chris: What! Someone finally tackled Trish's unruly.....emm....forest?
Matt: What? No! He made Lita look attractive!
Chris: Lita? Botcher?
Matt: Yep. Look...
Matt: See! I told you that Christian was a genius!
Chris: Yep. The boys got talent!
Kane bursting in on the non-ugly Lita shot.
Kane: I want an appointment!
Lita: WTF?
Kane: I want an appointment!
Lita: Emmm.....
Kane: Get me an appointment with Christian or I'll kill you!
Lita: Emmm...*thinking quickly*..he's already cut your hair!
Kane: What?
Lita: Yea. You look good....emm....sexy....like a big..red...tractor.
Kane decided Lita had botched too many times to live, so he killed her.
Kane - The Real WWE Superhero!
Meantime in the ring, Y2J is treated to a rare private consultation with the RAW Stylist and Resident Genius, Christian.
Christian: And a little off the sides here. Nice ensemble piece.
Y2J: Can you really do something with me?
Christian: I can work wonders!
Y2J: But I'm such a lump!
When Christian started his miraculous scissor work, Tyson's excitment got the better of him, and he accidentally stabbed Jericho in the eye with Christians spare scissors.
While Matt was upset over the death of Lita, he was there to console the return of Jeff.
Jeff: It could've been me!
Matt: Kane wouldn't have mixed you up!
Jeff: It's my new look, though! Christian did it. He said that Lita and I could've been twins.
Matt: Well I do find you strangely arousing.....did I just say that out loud?
Feeding time came around again, so Orton brought Batista to the ring to eat some mid-card jobbers. As usual Orton got landed the job of getting the meat tender.
Batista: Mmmm....Sushi Loin Fillet!
Batista roled in agony after his near-fatal wasabe disaster.
Rob handled his Hurricane doll into the ring with great care.
Rob: See....you can bend the doll into any position that works for you....
Rob Conways push was overtaken by the requirement to punt Hurricane dolls for WWE Shopzone.
Kane: Quickly, pass me the jobber!
Kane: Thanks!
The Lita disorder was beginning to spread unchecked through the womens division.
Gail: DDT!
Victoria: Go!
Gail: Whoops!
Gail: Suplex:
Victoria: Oooowwww!
Gail: Shit!
Gail: Spinebuster!
Victoria: What, Aaahhhh!
Gail: Bollocks!
Gail: Sharpshooter!
Victoria: WTF?
Gail: Emmm....somethings not right here! LITA!
HBK: Hey, baby.
Benoit: Stop it! I'm don't like you that way, Shawn.
HBK: But you're my special friend. Of course you do!
Benoit: HAVE YOU GOT A BONER?!!?!
HBK: I'd like to do you this way.
Benoit *to ref: Make him stop that!
HBK: Mmmmmmmm....
Benoit: Eeeuuuuuuwwwww!
Ref: Shawn, stop licking his fingers!
Benoit: And stop trying to cop a feel!
It all became too much for HBK. The huge amounts of energy, the hard physical competition, the constant rejection from Chris, he just had to sleep.
Luckily enough, Benoit was going for the pin, but the last thing he expected from an unconscious Shawn was a whispered, 'yeah baby, rub that nipple'.
Meantime, Triple HHH makes his mandatory appearance on RAW, and replies with brutal honesty when asked what his chances are of appearing in a flick with The Rock.