In an effort to counter Foley's "Mr. Socko," Randy Orton's right hand grew a mouth and a vicious set of teeth.
Tajiri shows Orton exactly why he is called the "Japanese Lovesaw."
Orton: What's that green stuff all over your mouth? Are you insane? Triple H is gonna kill you when he finds out you've been eating Stephanie out.
Randy: Dave, what is it? What's wrong, Dave? Why is there Evolution Kool-Aid all over your mouth?
Dave: NO! Don't look at me! Just leave me alone! Stay back!
Randy: Oh my goodness... Your face... It's turning into Triple H's...
Dave: GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE... I can't stop it... I'm sorry Randy, I'm ab-... ab-... b-.... BUUUUUUUUUUAH.
Randy:
The Referee had his hands full trying to make Conway and Hurricane take turns while they played Duck-Duck-Goose.
Conway trapped Hurricane in his new submission hold, the FBO (French Body Odor).
The WWE had really sunk to a new low to prove that they didn't discriminate Gowen, when they had the retarded Eugene square off against "Fetus Growing Out of the Side of My Head Man."
Ross: So Vince, think they'll notice that's not Austin calling for beer?
Vince: Pfft. Like I really give a shit at this point.
Kane couldn't wrestle a match without that darn Wile E. Coyote trying to drop an ACME superstar on his head.
Matt: Yeah Jericho, I'm afraid the rumors are true... Lita really does botch blowjobs.
Jericho: You poor guy... (Slaps a Y2J sticker on his schlong for being such a good patient)
Even though Lita swore she was a born-again Christian, George W. Bush would not pardon her for all of her botched moves.
Bush: Any last requests? (Chortling to himself)
Lita: Sure... How about one last kiss...
Bush: Ohhhh... Okay, sure... (Puckers up) AHHHHHHHHHHH! OWW! MY LIPS! DAMN YOU WOMAN! FRY HER!
Meet Kane. A seven-foot monster of a wrestler, but he was lacking confidence in "other" areas. Choosing to do something about it, Kane began using our product. Now he's got a seven-foot monster of his own, finally getting a little respect from the locker room community.
Christian: Hey wait, you're not Trish... "Your gun is digging into my hip..." Oh my God... She's a he... He's a sheshe... AHHHHHHHHHH! (Begins spitting profusely and chewing wads of gum)
In our next episode of Double Dragon, Billy Lee takes a huge heel turn when he joins Aboabo in attacking his brother, Jimmy Lee!
Matt: How did your first day of school go Lita?
Lita: (Begins sobbing) I botched the ABC's and all the kids laughed at me!
Matt: Cruel, cruel bastards...
Rather then checking for a submission, the perverted referee took it upon himself to check for breast cancer.
Ref: Holy shit! I've heard of having one arm, one leg, one eye... But the WWE has really gone too far this time! One boob!? You'll NEVER get over!
As Gail began wrapping her legs around Victoria's head, you could tell by the ref's right hand that he was in "good position."
Ref: Victoria, let go of the hair! Let go of the hair or I'll DQ you!
Victoria: FINE! I didn't like hairballs in my mouth anyway.
Shawn was a little less than enthusiastic about this match now that he wasn't going to win the title. You could tell by the look on his face:
Thanks alot Jericho.
Michaels was so pissed off about Jericho slipping when talking about the main event, that he decided to do something Jericho would never do, lock on the REAL Walls of Jericho.
The referee couldn't stand Shawn's crying like a little girl, so he reached over and gave him a bitch-slap of his own.
Otherwise unstoppable, Benoit knew Michaels was a sucker for a good old nipple-tweeking, and exploited it to retain the World Heavyweight Championship.
Benoit: What the...
"Dear Champ, great job so far on your title run. I'm really proud of the way you're handling this. I have no problems putting you over clean again, and Shawn and I are glad to help. Hell, I even removed my initials from the back of the belt."
(Benoit turns the belt over)
HHH HHH HHH HHH HHH HHH All your base HHH HHH HHH Your base HHH Your baseHHH HHH (Cum Stain) HHH Base HHH HHH HHH Base HHH HHH HHH HHH All your base HHH HHH are belong to us HHH
"Sike. I'll see you at SummerSlam. Love, HHH"
Triple H: We were THAT close to a clean finish...
Triple H: We were THAT close to Shawn jobbing cleanly twice in a row...
Triple H: You can only measure a man like me by the size of his heart...